The Library

Author articles:

1. Dov's Story
2. An Entirely Different Track
3. "?"="">Is our problem a "Lack of Simcha"?
4. Giving Up, not Giving In
5. Teshuva = Hashem's Will for Me Today
6. What Recovery is About
7. Feeling Clean is an Afterthought
8. We Must Replace the Lust
9. Should I Join SA?
10. An E-Mail from Rabbi Twerski
11. The 12 steps are for those who have NO HOPE (even WITH the steps!)
12. No Masturbation Days
13. Let Go and Let Purple Bunny (??!)
14. Thinking Too Much
15. Yetzer Hara & Teshuvah vs. Addiction & Recovery
16. Fighting the 700lb gorilla was not working for me
17. Who do we REALLY believe in?
18. His Mission is to Kill Us
19. It's a Fight for Survival, Nothing Else.
20. Perhaps Our Only Chance to Get Our Very Own G-d
21. Self-Knowledge vs. Self-Honesty
22. The Inner Wiring of an Addict
23. The More Real With People, The More Real With G-d.
24. The 12 Steps are all Teffilah
25. That's What Addicts Do
26. With Hashem, the hopeless can succeed too!
27. How much more are you willing to take?
28. Natural Consequences Teach Best
29. Getting Busy with Living
30. Don't Get too Detailed with your Wife
31. Balance is a Big, Big Deal
32. "="" really="" means"="">What "One Day At A Time" Really Means
33. Mikveh Yisroel Hashem
34. Sobriety is like Breathing; Recovery is like Living
35. Curiosity or Lust?
36. Figuring it out never helped me
37. Torah is the Goal, Recovery is the Door
38. Slip = Sobriety Loses It's Priority
39. I'll Fall Tomorrow
40. ""="">Our main issue is not just an "eye problem"
41. The steps are to help me be 'useful'
42. Growing is the Focus, not Fighting Lust
43. ""="">We Have a Problem With "Living"
44. Remodeling Our Way of Life
45. Freedom from Temptation = Dead Man
46. Our Lust Problem is Just a Symptom
47. The Little Kid in the Back Seat
48. Lust Kills Love
49. Just Pass it By
50. Do you have the right God?
51. Sakanta or Issura?
52. Days of our Lives
53. Without real change, we'll fall again.
54. Sometimes it's good enough just to be sober
55. I'm Just Me; Hashem's Little Guy
56. Giving In or Giving Up?
57. How do we turn our will over to G-d?
58. Letting it slide off our backs
59. The Beauty of the 4th Step
60. He's Gonna Help me even more now!
61. My life is unmanageable with lust in it
62. I needed support, humility & directions
63. Stopping for the Thousandth Time
64. I inherited this from my father
65. AA / SA is Not a Religion
66. Not acting-out is no longer my main preoccupation
67. Walking with Hashem Through the Tears
68. Even if I'm Destined for Gehinnom
69. Our Lust is Often Misguided Yearning
70. It's an Inside Job
71. Focusing on Not Focusing is Silly
72. If I Look Down, I'll Fall and Die
73. The Groups are a Mirror
74. There's a Big Difference Between Lusting & Acting Out
75. I'd Never Satisfy Myself With Lust Without Dying For It
76. All I Want to Do is Live
77. The 12-Steps Are Just About Being Real With Ourselves
78. What to do When Under Attack
79. Why I Daven for the Lady I Lusted For
80. The Difference Between Lust & Love
81. Getting Caught
82. Dramatic Struggle or a Wisp of Fog?
83. Becoming Open to the Miracle of Sobriety
84. How to say 'Sorry' to Hashem?
85. Stick with the Winners
86. The Cup That Can Be Filled With His Gifts
87. Letting go of our Da'as
88. Love Kills Lust
89. Despair Was My Entrance Fee
90. Sobriety is About Allowing Him to Help Us
91. The 12 Steps are for Those Who Are Beaten
92. Admitting the Truth About Ourselves to Another
93. Self-Will is our Greatest Enemy
94. It's more than a 'Schmutz' Problem
95. Getting Over Our Shame
96. ""="">Don't Wait for the "Consequences"
97. Get yourself a group of friends you can call
98. Tolerating Imperfection
99. Sick Enough to Really Need Him
100. DILBERT
101. Worshiping Avodah Zara
102. Why Dov First Posted On GYE
103. The Issue That Brought Dov to GYE
104. Do you want painful comfort - or painful peace?
105. We Start Paying From The First Instant
106. Tears That Open Doors
107. Clean Your Side of the Street First
108. I've Done Stupid Things Before
109. The Trash No Longer Rules My Life
110. Help, I Found a Way to Bypass My Filter!
111. "="" is="" a="" motivation;="" "sex"="" an="" act"="">Lust vs. Sex: "Lust" is a Motivation; "Sex" is an act
112. Letting Go of the 'Gimmies'
113. You CAN Crawl Out Of This Mess
114. Self Esteem
115. Davening After a Fall
116. I Don't Think I Can Wait!
117. When Are Our Prayers Really Answered?
118. As Much as I Had to Stop, I Couldn't Live Without it
119. By The Time Davening is Over, I am a New Man
120. Normal vs. Useful
121. Not a Candy Machine
122. Lust Makes Us Fools
123. An Emunah that We Really Use
124. A Miracle Happens When We Put Down The Bottle
125. The Gifts We Get When We Give it to Hashem
126. Because I am an Addict
127. ""="">He Thrives on Being a "Nirdaf"
128. Fantasy Takes Me Out of Reality
129. The Old Way vs. The New Way
130. Dov's Advice to a Non-Addict
131. Weakening the Power of Secrecy (Safely)
132. Giving Up
133. The Real Meaning of Love
134. Reality is More Precious Than Sanity
135. Only Frum SA Groups?
136. We Need to Suffer
137. Making That Call
138. My Will Needs to Be Broken
139. Eventually, It All Catches Fire
140. No One Can Give Me Lust if I Don't Use It
141. Giving up: Why the First Step is so Important
142. We become more needy as we heal!
143. More Invested in G-d: Two Great Parables from Dov for Step 3
144. Lust Addiction is a Disease
145. A Few Pearls Learned the Hard Way
146. "?"="">Living or Just "Not Dying"?
147. Recovery is the Tube that My Torah Runs Through
148. Dov Welcomes a Newcomer
149. Distracting Myself vs.Giving It Up
150. I Haven't Got it All Figured Out
151. "="Childish" stupidity"="">"Adult Entertainment" = Childish Stupidity
152. Holding On to Things Loosely
153. Emunah Problems?
154. Can't Sleep Without Acting Out
155. Why I Can’t Use Porn
156. Are You Worth It?
157. Sober For Ourselves, Not Our Wives
158. Counting Days Can Backfire for Real Addicts
159. If You Wish You Couldn't Tolerate It
160. Real Change Takes Time
161. Pleasure Like No Other
162. It All Stems from Lack of Integrity
163. Hashem Sees Our Hearts & Efforts
164. The Concepts Behind the Steps
165. See What Your Life is Like Without Lust
166. What do you want in your relationships?
167. Obsessions of the Mind
168. Lust Doesn't Deserve Real Estate in My Brain
169. The Music Will Become Beautiful To You Too
170. Dov's Secret
171. ""="">Learning from "Farm Boys"
172. Self Honesty is All There Really Is
173. Do YOU see that you need to stop?
174. Don't Give Power to Flesh & Blood
175. My 'Life' Forbids Me to Act Out
176. If It's Impossible, There Might Be Hope
177. Don't Put the Cart Before the Horse
178. Letting the Familiar Curiosity Go
179. We Need to Make it Real
180. There's Only One Day Of Recovery
181. The Makka is the Refuah
182. ""="">Breathing Air Is Not "Al Pi Torah"
183. Turning the Ship Around
184. I Refuse to be Relegated to the Trash Heap
185. The Day AFTER the Seder Night
186. Addict vs. Non-Addict
187. R' Shimon Bar Yochai Didn't Bring Along a Sandwich
188. To the Point of Survival
189. Turning Our Back on Our Old Selves
190. Reversed Order
191. Sometimes Low Self-Esteem Comes From Pride
192. A 'G-d Help' Program
193. Get Free Through Surrender
194. Accepting the Real Truth About Ourselves
195. A Religious Problem vs. YOUR Problem
196. We Give Them Power In Our Heads
197. Turning Our Wires Around
198. Don't Get Stronger, Get More Help!
199. You've Already Won
200. Prayer in the Trenches
201. The Moment of Truth
202. Giving It Up - Even Though We Can't
203. Two Ways to the Good Life
204. Our Goal Should Be True Growth & True Love
205. I Stopped Trying To Change the Little Lady
206. The Attitude Paradox of an Addict
207. We Need To Start Where We Are
208. Ein hadovor tolui ella bi
209. What's wrong with surrendering alone?
210. Ever Smile At Yourself?
211. Love Sick
212. Appreciating What We Have
213. It's not about Teshuvah, it's about being alive
214. The Only Truth that Matters
215. Life Without Burdens is a Sober Life
216. Banging Our Heads on the Aron Kodesh
217. Real Bitachon comes in baby steps
218. It Takes One To Teach One
219. Love Cripples
220. "="" is="" pikuach="" nefesh"="">For me, the "first drink" is pikuach nefesh
221. G-d is Free
222. We can't have true relationships till we're sober
223. Live Differently
224. Give it Away to Get it Back
225. Working the Steps
226. My Business vs. His Business
227. Hashem As Superman?
228. When the Wife Feels Betrayed
229. The Double Edged Sword of the Disease
230. Chazak Mimenu
231. Are you willing to go to any lengths?
232. Sharing Pain Can Help Others - And Ourselves
233. Like a Son Talks to His Father
234. Don't Argue
235. The Only Thing That Matters
236. Give it to Him, Get it Back
237. I just want to give it all up. Can you please stop me?
238. "="" is="" self="" honesty,="" period."="">The "Cake" is Self Honesty, Period.
239. The Real Balm
240. Recovery in Action - a Miracle.
241. The Failure of Self-Centeredness in Making Life Work
242. Do I have to live my whole life in pain?
243. Lust vs. Love
244. My Emotions are My Problem
245. Doing what you need to do, today
246. The Need to Feel Special
247. His way is getting me well
248. Training the Good Muscles
249. Dressing our struggle in the Chaluka d'Rabonnon
250. Even the most horrible rotten stuff ever!
251. How will she ever trust me again?
252. Wives don't generally understand - and that's good.
253. Recovery can't mean just not acting out
254. It's Not a Marriage Problem
255. Don't let it build up!
256. We need to reach out from where we really are
257. Asking for Help
258. What I was Looking for in Lust
259. "="" day"="">Dov's "Decent" Day
260. Live to Give = No Lack
261. Lust is Like a Star
262. Freedom is the Gateway to Pleasure
263. A Respected Marbitz Torah and Mashpiah Ruchani
264. Dov Defines His Understanding of GYE's Role
265. More of the same, or REAL change?
266. Where is the Desperation?
267. What a Therapist Can't Provide
268. Romantic Struggle vs. What Hashem Really Wants
269. Feeling Miserable is Useless
270. Sharing With a Partner
271. Quality Not Quantity
272. The G-d I Know
273. My Sobriety Cost Me My Entire Life Savings
274. The Problem is not with life, it's with US
275. Small Pearls From Dov
276. Dealing with Fantasies
277. It's time I stopped playing House
278. Taking the Actions of Love
279. Bad Choices
280. Is Sobriety the Tachlis?
281. Free Time on My Hands
282. SNOWED UNDER
283. ""="">Dov discusses some Torah thoughts on: "Letting Go of SELF WILL"
284. When do we finally get 'healed' and let go of Self-Will?
285. Wishful Thinking
286. Live To Give
287. ""="">The "Program"
288. Living as G-d's Boychik
289. What's with YOU?
290. Knowledge of the Issur vs. knowledge gained through experience
291. Purpose vs. Side Effect
292. Don't Go For the Pretty Box
293. Running 'Away' or Running 'To'?
294. Dov Tells More of His Story
295. Scream For Help
296. Misinterpretation
297. Dov Talks About Purim
298. "?"="">How Do You Define an "Addict"?
299. You've Surely Gained a Lot
300. Which Hard Work Do You Choose?
301. Letting Go of Our Garbage
302. Madreigos & Hashkafa in Recovery
303. You already are a good person
304. Working the Steps
305. Keep Your Eye on the Ikkar