G-d is Free
Meetings are free. Sponsors are free. G-d is free. Acting out is very expensive. Hatzlocha weighing what to do. In any case, whatever progress you have made should not be ignored. You are probably more open than ever now. Use that and build on it. If you want to work the 12 steps, then do not try to work them alone - get help and work them with a helper who uses them in his life. Ask Hashem to lead you on the right path every time you daven and bentch and talk to Hashem often. Look for ways to be more normal, more useful, and more part of the society in which you live, be it shul, family, yeshiva, kosher friends, whatever.
Hatzlocha, and remember that you have many friends, and a G-d is in the world and He will never abandon you.