I'd Never Satisfy Myself With Lust Without Dying For It
Someone wrote on the forum:
I am trying to rely only on my wife, but I can't find the satisfaction in her, it's a big problem. I am having a urge to just drop the new me with her, & go back to self pleasure, it's just much more fun.
As an addict, I really must say something distinctly un-GYE, and in all seriousness: Good luck. I tried that and after a few years of more failure at being a happy pervert, saw that I'd never satisfy myself with lust anyway without dying for it. Then I ran like hell to recovery, b"H. If I could still successfully act out, I probably would today. Am I a rasha? Maybe. But that's not my concern. I have accepted on myself to salvage whatever of my life is left to be sober in, and that's it. What Hashem gives me and doesn't give me, is His business. If I really thought it was all a moral issue, you can see what a horrid pretzel I'd be!
No one could have proven it to me, and it would be silly for me to try to prove anything to you, either.