"Adult Entertainment" = Childish Stupidity
Nothing you describe reminds me of addiction, just natural tayvo that is a bit twisted by shame, a big helping of bad habit, and some pleasure. You do it because it makes you feel good, right? Sounds normal to me. Not 'good', not 'healthy'... but not mentally ill, either.
So I thought a bit and feel like asking you this little question:
How old do you feel while you are doing the stuff you describe? 14? 30? Or perhaps more like a hiding 9 year old boy?
In my heart, even though I saw it as a poor excuse for stuff that adults do, I felt childish and ashamed.... so I hid.
And how do I know that we all know it's childish self-centered stupidity? Answer: Because it's called "Adult"! The best secret of false advertising is to describe your product as excelling in exactly what it is most deficient. Hence the reform shuls called "derech emeth", pro-abortion called "pro-choice" (cuz abortion is about giving the fetus no choice at all!), and here - "adult entertainment"... please ... big boys playing with themselves on tape and using other people.... that is what it means to 'be a real man'? The last time I checked, the only people of whom it's cute to have naked photos of were babies on a blanket . (I still wish my mother would put the ones of me away !) Babies get naked with strangers (like my pic as a baby in front of the photographer and every old lady that comes into my mother's living-room!) and it's OK. Babies. Adults have self-respect. I wouldn't expect my boss to have a naked picture of himself playing the piano on his desk at work. Why is porn sane at all?
Yet I gave my life for it for twenty years. And you are using it now.
So. I know how immature I can be and just thought it'd be nice to ask how you felt about the stuff you do.