Wednesday, 18 January 2012

We need to reach out from where we really are

by Dov (See all authors)

The Gr"a asks: If we were not "good" in eretz yisroel with a beis hamikdash and with nevi'im, then how in the world are we to ever get better out of eretz yisroel and without any neviim?! A good question, no?

His answer is that there is just no other way to get better when we screw up (my phrase), except by attaching ourselves to a higher level or deeper relationship with Hashem than we had before we went wrong. And the only way to do that is by reaching out of where we really are, spiritually. Staying in Eretz Yisrael with a Beis haMikdosh and nevi'im, would only make us think we are higher than we really are, and that we need Hashem less than we really do!

In the very same way, Adam needed to get sent out of Gan Eden - he was lower and had to reach for Hashem from there. Reality is what we need! There ain't no easy way out, as the song goes. We need to be made to face ourselves, somehow, eventually. At least, that's how I understand his answer. And that's how I understand the 1st step experience, too.

We are a mess. We are basically blind, and have puny brains - a shadow of the real Da'as that is His/Him. Lust overtakes us, as do our fears, pride, and resentments. No blame there - it's just the way it is for many of us. We rarely see farther than our own wishes and 'rights' and even the perspective of another human usually eludes us, let alone that of the Divine. We rarely even care, really... that's what it means to be the average human being. Nu. And He loves us.

I think many of us (me especially) need hachno'oh (a broken heart/broken ga'avoh) more than anything else, for recovery. And through sobriety and recovery with hachno'oh, our relationships with our G-d and with fellow man (and spouses) will become right-sized. Then they will actually begin to work for us. The emunah will begin to actually function the way it is meant to, and the relationships will actually grow and be fun!