Fighting the 700lb gorilla was not working for me

by Dov (See all authors)

The heiliger Divrei Chayim (or maybe it was the Sfas Emess) said: "Enlightened folks don't desire freedom so that they can do whatever they like whenever they want - like empty-headed fools, but rather so that they can actually succeed at fighting for Kvod Shomayim in this life, each in their own way!"

Instead of focusing on me valiantly fighting for Kvod Shomayim by not acting out, with His help I will focus on being a decent yid! In the meantime, I'll take whatever daily "medications" I need to cuz of my illness and I just want to live without giving lust the time of day. I trust that attitude to bring about way more Kvod Shomayim in the end, anyway!

Getting in the ring to fight the 700lb gorilla was not working for me. By making my goal to be a decent (not perfect, just decent) husband, father, ben Torah, recovery friend and community member, I hope to lack the time to get too distracted from real life, at all.

But I can't do that without a miracle, so: Please save me today from delusions of grandeur and help me put my load down on Your wagon that's carrying me anyway!