Like a Son Talks to His Father
I know a guy who got better just by saying the words when he really needed to. It went something like this:
"G-d, if You are listening, please take away my lust/resentment/fear/(whatever) - because I have plenty of it, and that is the problem here - not this or that person, nor my circumstances.... G-d, if You love me, then please help me know that You love me.... G-d, help me actually have the gratitude I can have to You. I don't want to work hard on anything, I just want You to give all these things to me with the smallest amount of work possible, by me."
Nu. What do you have to lose? Do you think it's chuzpadik to talk to Hashem this way?
If so, I propose to you that he sees our hearts, not just our words. And our hearts do just this all the time! When we are impatient, we are saying to Hashem: "Well? What's taking You so long?!" When our stomachs hurt we tend to get very upset about it - we don't accept it with love (meaning full acceptance that it's Hashem's best plan for us). Our rage is always a nasty way to say to Hashem (in our feelings) something like: "What the h--l are You doing?! Do You have any idea how much this hurts!!". Why else doe we ever get angry about anything?
Nu. That's what I think. Maybe I'm totally off.
So, why keep lying to Hashem if you are already saying it to Him and he knows it?
Let it out, as a son talks to his father. If you feel you can't do that yet, then you can at least ask Him to help you out so that one day you willtalk to Him like a son talks to a father.
Anyway, who says we need the whole package, or nothing? Trying is surely worth something.