Ein hadovor tolui ella bi
For practical problems we can learn a lot from Chazal, of course, but what is indispensable for an addict is counsel from real live people.... not quotes from great people (even neviim) who are long gone. I learn a lot from Chazal, sure, but for my recovery issues, I'd much rather talk with my sponsor (even though he is not Jewish) than with Rav Ashi. Sorry.
And this is not a foreign idea in Torah, for, as we say "Halocha k'basrai". When it comes to practical guidance, Yiftach of this dor is actually better than Shmuel of the previous dor. We also say TEIKU - Tishbi will answer the shaylohs for the last dor - because he is the ultimate basrai, having been alive and here with us all along to the end.
But that is all for normal people with normal sexual (and other) problems.
For sickos (and pardon me but that is exactly what kind of husband our wives have to deal with) we need G-O-D, Osei Shomayim Vo'oretz, period. No one else can help us to be at peace with our goofy sexuality, with our goofy wives, or with our goofy selves.
Even Moshe Rabbeinu isn't strong enough! Maybe in another religion great people actually perform miracles... not in Judaism. Last time I checked we don't believe in that. It is always Hashem doing it, through the person.
Same here, with perverts like me. Maybe people can be a conduit to help us out a little bit with these painful, enigmatic things. But in the end, ein hadovor tolui in anybody else - not even in Chazal or the Avos (the 'great mountains' - see the words of Rav Elozar ben Durdaya - why couldn't he go to a tanna like Rav Yehudah Hanassi? He was around, no?). No. Ein hadovor tolui ella bi- meaning: between me and G-d. No one comes between us at a time like this. I am powerless, and so are all other people! Only Hashem has Power. I need Him then, and I need Him now.
"May we turn to Him now." (paraphrasing AA Ch.5)