Getting caught by my wife didn't stop me. It was just a stepping stone till I finally had enough, about a year later.
If you remember Captain Kirk in Star Trek... He had a "double" once, cuz he went back in time. But all was OK - as long as the two never, ever met. If they did, the entire time-space continuum would be ripped asunder.
If you are anything like I was, you have two personalities. And you do take care never to allow the two to ever meet. Only a "third party" can get the two together in the same room. Someone who already knows either one of your personae well, and then discovers the second one. That person is going to rip your personal time-space continuum asunder.
And that is still not the answer, as in my own case. But it was a start.
Best wishes to you, your wife, and all of us.