We Must Replace the Lust
If whatever I was using lust for is not replaced with something as effective as lust was, I will be left stranded and feel even worse than before.
And that is where the Steps come in: the steps (spelled-out in the 12th, if we haven't yet figured it out by then) are specifically aimed at develop my relationship with Hashem to the level that it completely fills in what's missing in my life. Sound crazy? It should. Well, it's no crazier than using magazines, schmutz and sex with self (masturbation) to do it!! Especially since that always makes us nuts and leaves us in even more self-centered stupidity than before...
In the meantime, there are eitzos that come from the first 3 steps, like:
- Gratitude lists.
- Clearly and directly asking Hashem to "please really give me whatever it is that I am really looking for in this desire right now to stare at that woman, look at that schmutz, mast..., etc - Please let me find it in You! (eventually)".
- Calling a safe friend up and clearly admit exactly what it is that I secretly plan to do... (uncomfortable? Good. We are only as sick as our secrets, they say).
- Having a chevra to openly declare the truth about (and to remember) my tendencies, (this is indispensable to me).
These all stem from the first three steps, and knowing other folks who use these tools somehow makes it easier for us to actually start using them ourselves.