We Need To Start Where We Are
You are not alone, no matter how alone your addiction may tell you that you are...you are not. Thank-G-d! There are other people who can relate to you on a very personal level. Seek them out and share with them to help them, and you will be helped even more, in turn.
And as a result of reaching out to create healthy relationships with other like-hearted people, you will discover that you gain the ability to reach out and create a healthy relationship with G-d....for a change. Because the reason the relationship with G-d doesn't work for us is because we haven't anything like a healthy relationship with Him. It is very sick, actually. We need to start from the bottom and work up to Him. As Hillel told the goy-ger: "mai desoni loch, l'chavreich lo sa'avid" Instead of telling him "v'ohavto lerei'acho kamocha", he went with the lower, negative version. We need to start where we are! Eventually we will all learn how to love, and sometimes only after that - yes -after that - we will learn how to be loved.