Monday, 19 December 2011

Getting Over Our Shame

by Dov (See all authors)

One of the draw backs of GYE - as opposed to joining a live group, is that we are a virtual community. Even if we consider that 'connecting', heck - most of us are using fake names, for crying out loud. Ironically, in my own case, I used a fake name on the phone whenever I was acting out! Of course we need to place anonymity and safety high on the priority list, but why all that secrecy in recovery? Aren't we supposed to be getting real? Why not use your real name? I guess I am just old-fashioned, but I really believe that the username thing is just fine for forums about urchin-hunting and sushi-rolling, but when it comes to recovery, it just scares me.

Besides, the weak knees and shock that some long-time forum members have reported when facing the door of a "face-to-face" meeting... that proves to me more than anything that the degree of 'coming-out' that many of us desperately need just to get over our shame, is just not happening on the forum. Yes, the virtuality is merciful. But as for me, I got to a point where I saw that any more self-mercy would kill me. How many of us are too soft on themselves in action and recovery, while being way too hard on themselves emotionally and in self-loathing? I wonder.

Where will that get us?