Pleasure Like No Other
To me - just for me - looking for s'char (divine reward) in sobriety is just a distraction from being happy to just be a yid with my Best Friend right here, right now. I love saying a few times in the earliest morning with my eyelids still upside down, "I'm for You... help me be for You... help me want to be for You today." It's a pleasure like no other just to really mean that. And as far as the s'char is concerned, Ilu hotzianu me-addiction v'lo nosan lanu v'lo anything else - Dayenu!
Ani Ledodi v'Dodi li... "Dodi" is for me, even when I am not for Him! It's gotta be that way, otherwise how could anybody ever get sober in the first place? It's amazing, no?