Small Pearls From Dov
Hashem Healed the Yidden Before Kabalas Hatorah
I just want to bring something that Dov once mentioned. Chazal tell us that before Matan Torah, the Yidden were all miraculously healed by Hashem. Says Dov, this teaches us that before we can be Zoche to true Matan Torah, we need to be healed first! To quote Dov in response to "why the Torah learning of an addict doesn't seem to save him":
- The answer is surely in the Torah, but I can't see it nor use it as long as lust is in ME".
- Our problem is not in our "Torah" per-se, but rather in how we approach our "Torah".
- So consider quitting banging your head against the Torah and look into yourself for the answer, first.
Let's declare a moratorium on "thinking" now, and just Do.
Do for Hashem, simply and humbly! Yippee.
Hashem Loves Us
Hashem loves each one of us so much more than we can ever love Him, so much so, that we practically hate Him compared to how much He loves us. Oy vei.
Hated it & Loved It
I started recovery with a clear feeling that I cannot afford to cross certain boundaries again - that I had to grow up. It was painful and I hated it but loved it, and can't explain better. It felt different, and that was what told me I might be on the right track. "Any track but the old one" was my motto, and still is.
I'll Daven For You
Dov tells someone on the forum:
Having no z'chus of any kind, still full of myself, and totally useless/powerless over lust, I will daven for you. Every bit of teshuvah and simcha in avodas Hashem that I have ever come in contact with, whether I came to it "b'ratzon" or "b'oness", "b'shogeg" or "b'meizid", was and is, all a free gift from Hashem. So I am sure He's got enough in store to help you out with, too.
Dov's Teffilah Against "Keri"
Before I go to sleep, I make sure to smile, take a deep breath, and say to my Best Friend something like this:
"Elo-h-ai, You helped me before through so many nights that I didn't deserve to get through. Please do it again tonight and help me wake up with at least a little bit of joy and honestly serve You at least a little bit - no matter what happens tonight. I love You so much! Thank You, Hashem".
Then I go to sleep.
It's nice, actually. Try it!