Can't Sleep Without Acting Out
Someone wrote to Dov:
At night, I need it to sleep. And even if you'll tell me that's not true, if one thinks he needs something to sleep, he can't sleep without it. I need a plan how to get this idea out of my head. This keeps on being my biggest sticking point. Even when I do forgo it and manage to sleep, I still am stressed and I think that the next night it won't work.
In addition, I can't call someone in the middle of the night to discuss this when the fear comes that I won't sleep.
Same here. Sometimes all I can do is just lay in that bed and take my commitment to sobriety seriously when I say to myself calmly and quietly, "I am going to lay right here till morning if I have to, that's all...." I 'write' gratitude lists in my mind then, and it helps me a great deal. Or I think hard for as long as I can about the ways that I appreciate my wife, each of my children, and how I can be a little bit of a better father for each of them and a little bit of a better husband for my wife tomorrow be"H. The only - and I mean only way I get out of living in the problem and into living in the solution is by doing everything I can so that all my conscious living is in the solution .
The idea of getting Israeli contacts is great (I have recovery friends in Utah and Seattle who I can call [and a buddy in China who I could, theoretically, call] in the middle of the night. Sometimes, reading a bit of AA calms me down.