Thursday, 29 December 2011

He Thrives on Being a "Nirdaf"

by Dov (See all authors)

There is a shleppy miskein who lives in my house with me. He has a little flat in my head. Somehow he is exempt from rent... I can't dislodge him from my head, either... Every time I tried, I found out that I believed in my heart of hearts that I no longer needed G-d!

That made life worthless. Hashem loves me too much to allow that.

I suspect that he can live in the house and head with us just fine. We may not enjoy noticing that smelly aqualung there, especially when he smiles that weird way he sometimes does. We learn how to do our thing and he will wear away, gnawing his existence away with fantasies of tripping you up - till you die (after 120) and move right past him forever.

Just be careful. Don't say stuff like, "An arrow in your eye, sucker!". This melech zokein thrives on being a nirdaf - either by us running after him to follow him, or when we try to 'destroy' him. Greater people who were certainly not addicts learned that lesson the hard way. For us, it is so much more a fact of life. We need humility more than anyone.

Just one addict's point of view.