Figuring it out never helped me
Dov responds to someone who claims that we need to change our attitude and realize that looking is also part of the addiction:
I do not argue with this idea, but I know of not one addict who ever permanently "stopped himself" from using his/her drug because of any reason or attitude. In every successful case I know, it was a process of surrender and they know that a Higher Power did it for them - and keeps doing it for them. So, taking that power and credit into our own hand is probably suicidal simply because it's a lie. And lying (actively or passively) is the bedrock of addictive behavior. And the same goes for guilt - I know of no addict who got sober, from guilt. Quit? Yes - many times, but not sober.
Even though I of course sense his sincerity, the kind of talk in the quote is so easy to hear almost every time one goes to an AA/SA (etc.) meeting. It can usually be heard out of the mouths of the guys who have been attending for one or two meetings. Those who have not yet been sober for a month, or maybe even a day, often have it 'all figured out'. Preaching and philosophizing to anyone - even correctly - never really helped me at all. And I doubt it helped the other folks who heard it, either. The answer for me and those I know, may not to be found in finally "understanding" the underlying roots of our problem, but in the acceptance of that understanding, I guess. Now that's a precious gift to get.
Action speaks much louder than words, especially in recovery. Luckily, action doesn't have to mean anything like perfection!