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Sick Enough to Really Need Him

GYE Corp. Thursday, 22 December 2011

Q. Guess where I believe eliminating all emotional 'triggers' would lead me (and maybe others, too)?

A: To completely abandon Hashem. Yup. I wouldn't need His help at all!

C'mon. Hashem is smart, no? You think he really arranged us to become this sick for Him to save us - like Superman? Does He 'need' to run around saving the world post facto? I doubt it. I believe that He put me in this life and I have this problem cuz it was indispensable to me! I needed to become sick enough to need Him, in order to ever have hope of finding Him. Rav Noach Taught me this idea, and I use it this way.

And before this gets all bogged-down in a big fat 'hashkofa' debate, I just want to say that all this might seem dead wrong... but I do not really care, because it works to allow me to get me sober and to be an eved Hashem to the degree that I am, so far. I don't really care about the philosophical veracity discussions. They can go either way and back and forth forever, anyway. If it works, then it's probably true - and the truth will eventually become apparent to me as a gift from Hashem, when He is ready to have me know it.

Humilty is far more precious to me than 'being right'... after all, 'needing to be right' was always the poison in my relationships, itself!