The Library

You fell? So what. Like "Bardichev" always says, "fell shmell". We are not perfect and we are not supposed to be perfect. We are meant to fall. If not, why would we be here? So I don't really give a hoot that you fell. Yes, when I first heard about it, I was down. Not bec...

Day 35. I am very pleased to report that my wife and I are making progress, and our marriage is getting stronger. I am feeling good and strong, no slips or falls and needed or wanted. I've worked hard over the past 35 days to have a strong will and great attitude. Now, ac...

Thank you for that link. There were many useful ideas and techniques there. Ideas for how to positively react and deal with the thoughts, and practical techniques for managing them. I like the idea of "welcoming them" rather than fighting the losing battle of actively try...

"Holy Yid" writes: Tonight, less than one hour ago, I fell after 139 days clean. I am very sad but trying not to beat myself up over it. I grew a lot over the last 4 and half months, and one thing that I feel now is that I won't go to bed hating myself, only very sad. I...

Do you tell Laticia walking down the street in her tank and short shorts to "realize" what she's doing to you? YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE YOURSELF! TRYING TO CHANGE OTHERS ALWAYS BACKFIRES. We can only change others by example. Perhaps they will make the changes to be like us on...

"silentbattle" writes some advice on the forum: When things are calm, picture yourself being faced with a challenge and in your mind picture yourself, instead of acting out, doing something specific instead, like getting up and going to a different room, going for a jog, ...

I saw a friend this morning who wasn't smiling. I asked him if his children had clothes. He said yes. I asked him if he had food on his table today. He said yes. I asked him if his roof leaks when it rains. He smiled and said no.Count your blessings. Don't take the things...

A Rebbe of mine once told me that "your day starts the night before". And he explained that this is a big trick of the Yetzer Hara to make us stay up late at night and not get enough sleep. He even tricks us into becoming "temporary Tzaddikim" by giving us an inspiration ...

Sometimes I think it would be nice to get the gift of freedom from the Yetzer Hara... But would it really? We aren't just given challenges in life. Life is ALL about challenges. Without them, there'd be no purpose in our being here. So yes, facing nisyonos isn't fun, and ...

Last night was a tough night. I basically ended up spending all night reading GYE. Often I would be doing other not-so-good things instead. As they say, spend the time on "healing" instead of the addiction. What I realized is, that life is a challenge. I need to "play the...

Try to get out of going, if possible. If not, make a plan in advance. Schedule how long you have to be there, and stick to it. Set an alarm to remind you when to leave. Prepare an excuse to leave in advance. Give yourself a pep-talk before going. Look at yourself in the ...

About 9 months ago, in the throws of the addiction, I woke up one morning feeling that I no longer recognized myself. I don't know what it was, but a terrible sensation tore through me and hit me at the very core. "What happened to me?" I thought. "Where did the old me go...

My journey to recovery is a beautiful journey. I have realized that we need to find the good in everything. Even in a situation where I have the urge to fall or slip, I stop myself and say: "I know what's happening here, and I'm not gonna fall for it.Hashem loves me and t...

I had a scare this week and feel it should be known for others to watch out. I bought a used Ipod and when it arrived, it came with youtube and access to internet with no filter. I thought I was in for it, so I quickly asked someone more savvy than me what to do about it....

Thank You GYE! Thank G-d, this past week I completed the GYE 90-day journey. It's been an interesting process and before I share some of what's worked for me I'd like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you. Whether you realize it or not, you've all p...

Simcha is a big key to breaking free. But how can be be'Simcha even at times where we feel no desire to stay clean and no motivation to serve Hashem?Here's something I saw in a Chassidishe Sefer once. The simple fact that we know that there's a G-d in the world is alone a...

When you board a jet, if you turn left you go into the Cockpit. If you turn right, you go to your assigned seat. Everyday, we're faced with this choice. And as addicts, we often refuse to go to our assigned seats. Maybe we're jealous; we think that other guy got a better ...

Dov wrote: Life was and is so much better without lust - the thing I was convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that I couldn't live without! Today life is real, it's geshmak, it's useful, it's real, it's consumingly interesting and full of surprises, and... did I say that ...