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Vezos-Habrachah

What Does "Accepting I'm an Addict" Mean?

One of the main principles we learn on GYE is that after a certain point, it's not just a struggle with the Yetzer Hara anymore - it's an addiction. But many of us can easily say "oh, I am an addict" soon after landing here... Maybe we like saying that, because in some wa...
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Take-Mode or Give-Mode?

Here's one thing that came to mind recently, inspired by DC's call (but it's my own musings): When I'm outside, why is it so hard to guard my eyes? I think it's because I go on "TAKER" mode as soon as I step outside. "I'm gonna take, I'm gonna look at whoever there is to ...
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One Computer Only

Here is one Eitza that has worked for me (In addition to K-9 on my computer without knowing the password). I made a Neder that I would not touch any computer besides my own. Meaning, even if I want to check my e-mail- or a web sight quickly- I will not touch anyone else's...
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THE FILTER EVOLUTION

When I first heard about getting a filter, I was very resistant. It was about a month or two until my wife and I sat down together, looked through the information and installed K9. One catalyst was my involvement on the forum. Posting messages like, "Woops, just slipped...
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Treat Movies Like Lust

When the big chill came these past weeks, I paid to join a movie download site so we could get old Hollywood "kosher" movies (that you can't find anymore) so we could distract the kids who were cooped up and asking for them. I kept a copy of the program on my work comp, a...
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Marital Love is Built Outside of the Bedroom

I was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer. As I face the thought of maybe not ever being with my wife again (at least for a year), I look back at the 20 years before I knew I was an addict and think about all of the times I manipulated my wife into being with me, when...
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Vi'Nahafoch Hu

The tragedy of addiction and powerlessness can turn into the biggest blessing, if we use it the way it was intended by G-d; i.e. as a springboard for inner-change and spiritual growth. "You cannot see My face, for man cannot see My face and live... you will see My back, b...
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Keep Your Heart Occupied

R' Leib (Lawrence) Kelemen mentions how at one point, he was forced to plan a trip to Eilat with one of his sons to take care of something there. (He notes that for those unfamiliar with the standards of dress in Eilat, "people there don't walk around wearing winter coats...
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The Test is Not Always What We Think

Have you destroyed what you worked for in the last 89 days? Well, the chofetz chaim says about lashon hora that if someone restrains himself from speaking, even for a minute, he gets access to a spiritual light that even the angels cannot fathom. That's even if he can't c...
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What I Learned From My Last Fall

Dearest Brothers in Arms, Permit me to share what I learned from my last fall. I was clean for months and months at the time. This was prior to having found the GYE network and I was not counting days, nor did I have a sobriety date. Why should I be counting days? A chosh...
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Misinterpreting the Urge

I remember reading once something in the Sefer "B'Nei Machshava Tova": People think that we can't feel our soul. But in reality we CAN feel it, but we've been conditioned to misinterpret it. For example: Sometimes you feel uneasy. You try to eat something or take a nap to...
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There is No 'Long Haul'

I was having a conversation with someone from the forum and here is how it went: I said, "I believe in you", then he said, "I believe in me in short spurts, but not for the long haul"... It then occurred to me that we are in total agreement... Because there is no long hau...
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Wait 15 Minutes

You should want to stop to be able to have a life, NOT to stop 'sinning'. If you don't stop now, you will end up spending your whole day online looking at P***. You will have no life. You will not learn Torah. You will ignore your wife and kids. You will not get a positio...
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Every Day is 'Day 1'

I want to share today something that I feel is very important to make sure I get out - and off my chest. The 90 days is for sure a must to get where you want to go. However, the first day is more important then the rest of those 90. I look back now and see that at day 1,...
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Moving Targets Are Harder to Hit

So here I am on my third week of my climb back up... How can I make this one better?... How do I make these clean days get me more return for my buck than the last days did?... I think about something I first learned from Dov and read about later in the SA literature... S...
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This is MY Movie

Silent Battle wrote: We have this idea in our head - a kind of script, really - that in various situations, our response is supposed to be to act out. It might be "when I'm under stress," or "when I'm lonely," or "when I'm triggered." But somehow, we've accepted that it'...
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La-Briut!

I read something on this Forum that hit me hard. Someone said to another newbie something like, "wouldn't you like to spend the rest of your life LIVING as a mentsch, rather than as a pretender who's walking around with a dirty little secret?" I'm afraid there's only one ...
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Help me patrol the perimeters of my thinking

Since discovering this site--a lifesaver if you want to be saved--I read the daily e-mails and the inspirational stories and I am often moved. Recently, I davened for help to "patrol the perimeters of my thinking". Since that moment, this phrase has stuck in my mind, wher...
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