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Don't be a

Don't be a "dry drunk"

By obormottel
In the field of alcoholism treatment, there is a concept of a "dry drunk." This term describes those who have stopped drinking alcohol, but whose behavior remains essentially unchanged from their drinking days.  
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Just Say 'No!'

Just Say 'No!'

By obormottel
We’re Missing the Boat In my lectures about drug addiction, I often cite the comment of a 14 year old girl who was interviewed about Nancy Reagan’s campaign to “Just Say ‘No!’ to Drugs.” The young woman said, “Why? What else is there?” I have watched our government spend ...
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The Lobster

The Lobster

By obormottel
A lobster is a soft mushy animal that lives inside of a rigid shell. That rigid shell does not expand. Well, how can the lobster grow? As the lobster grows, that shell becomes very confining and the lobster feels itself under pressure and uncomfortable. It goes under a ro...
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Cotton Candy and the Art of Surrender

Cotton Candy and the Art of Surrender

By obormottel
One of the greatest successes of the 12-Step program is in teaching addicts how to surrender instead of fighting against desires that they feel ‘powerless’ over. But the question often comes up, what does surrender really mean and how is it really different than ‘fighting...
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Rabbi Twerski's recent talk in Jerusalem

Rabbi Twerski's recent talk in Jerusalem

By GYE Admin
Rabbi Twerski's Talk - "Teshuvah Through Recovery" Those who couldn't make it to Rabbi Twerski's talk last week in Jerusalem can view a video of the event at this link. To watch Rabbi Twerski speaking about GYE click here (or jump to 50.40 in the video above). MP3 a...
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Should I say anything about a guy’s SSA issues to his Kallah?

Should I say anything about a guy’s SSA issues to his Kallah?

By the.guard
A Woman asked: After being married for 2 years, I found gay hookup apps on my husband's phone. This was tremendously shocking and heartbreaking. We are dealing with it well but I feel totally tricked (into marriage) and betrayed. Also, my brother had known this whole time...
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Personal request from Rabbi Twerski

Personal request from Rabbi Twerski

By obormottel
Dear Friend, I believe that in our generation, the single greatest danger to Klal Yisrael is that of immorality. The plague of illicit material on the internet has affected the type of people we would never have suspected vulnerable: yeshiva bachurim, kollel yungeleit a...
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Working for Nothing

Working for Nothing

By obormottel
The yetzer hara deludes people to thinking that life is for pleasure. Looking back upon one’s life and realizing that it was all in futility, is the despair expressed by King Solomon in Ecclesiastes, “Nothingness of nothingness—all is nothingness.” A man came across a p...
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Before and After

Before and After

By obormottel
In our tefillah, we say, “Remove Satan (the yetzer hara) from before us and after us.” The Talmud says that “A person’s yetzer hara (evil inclination) renews itself each day and seeks to destroy one” (Kedushin 30a). The yetzer hara has only one goal: to crush and destroy ...
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A Heartfelt thank you!

A Heartfelt thank you!

By obormottel
I referred a woman to the website. Here's her response:"Thank you for being available and helping me out when I thought I’d never smile again. The website is huge. My husband and I are totally using it. Thanks for your swift replies and for devoting your life to helpin...
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Zos Habrocho: Pray for Those Who Wronged You

By obormottel
In this parsha, Moses gives his final blessing to the bnei Yisrael. The Ohr Hachaim points out that Moses had suffered for forty years from his cantankerous people. Moses had only one wish, to be allowed into the Holy Land, but he was denied this fervent wish because of t...
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Yiddishkeit and 12 Steps: The Rabbi's Opinion

By obormottel
A number of people have raised the issue of the relationship of the 12-step program to Yiddishkeit. Some have indicated that they were “frum” during their active addiction but that they dropped their Yiddishkeit during the program. In order to address these issues, I thin...
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Haazinu: Don't Justify - Ask Someone Else What They Think about It

By obormottel
Moses reprimands the Israelites as "a perverse and twisted generation" (Deuteronomy 32:5). When we allow our desires to influence our thinking, we can be "perverse and twisted." One recovering alcoholic said, "In all my years of drinking, I never once took a drink unless...
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Vayelech: No Spiritual Status Quo

By obormottel
Moses said, “I am 120 years old this day. I can no more go out and come, and Hashem has said to me, ‘You shall not cross the Jordan.’” All his life, Moses aspired to spiritual growth, and reached heights unachieved by any other human being. No further growth was p...
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Nitzovim: All We Have is Today

By obormottel
“You are standing here today, before Hashem…the covenant which Hashem seal with you today…but with whoever is here today, and with whoever is not here with us today” (Deuteronomy 29:1-14) The repetition of “today” is unnecessary for the context of Moses’ message. It add...
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Ki Savo: Serve Hashem - Live with Joy

By obormottel
The dire consequences that will befall you will be “Because you did not serve Hashem with joy” (Deuteronomy 28:47) If we are not feeling joy in performance of the mitzvos, we must not be doing them right. The knowledge that we are doing what God wants us to do, thereby fu...
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Ki Setzei: When in Love, Think Twice.

By obormottel
"You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together." (Deuteronomy 22:10). Chinuch explains that the two animals pull at different rates, and one or both will suffer. Chinuch explains that this applies to human relationships as well. Two people with conflicting personali...
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Shoftim: Don't Let Your Desires Bribe You!

By obormottel
"You shall not accept a bribe, for the bribe will blind the eyes of the wise " (Deuteronomy16:19) We are all judges, making many judgments every day. Every desire that one has is a bribe, affecting one's judgment to favor the desired act. A recovering alcoholic said, "In ...
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