Q&A

The False Allure of Infidelity

By the.guard

A GYE User wrote: I feel that I’ve been numbed by watching so much garbage to the concept of infidelity, which seems so thrilling etc. I'm very disturbed by this, because even if I can stop watching vids, the allure remains. I’m not dating yet, but I really want to try ch...

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Rabbi Avigdor Miller on Abstinence

By the.guard

Q: How should a person know when to enjoy this world and on the other hand when to be a porush, an abstainer, from this world? A: And the answer is, whatever is good for your health you should use and enjoy in this world. If you like to eat bread and butter and it’s also ...

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Struggling Avreich

By the.guard

Question from member "wilnevergiveup": I am a serious avreich learning full time, I learn mussar regularly and constantly strengthen myself with various incentives. I can then usually keep myself clean for 2-3 weeks, then this or that and I am back to square one. I will t...

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Conversion Therapy for SSA

By the.guard

Question: I know conversion therapy is highly controversial and deemed unhelpful and unhealthy in the mental health field. What do you think about it? Dovid, a GYE volunteer, responds: Thanks for sharing the question and I am glad to answer the question from my perspect...

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3 Myths About Pornography Use In Couples You Might Still Believe

By obormottel

Whether you are are in a committed relationship or thinking about one, or you are a counselor, member of the clergy, or a therapist, here are 3 myths about pornography use among couples you need to know:

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Depression in Sobriety

By obormottel

I am currently over 7 months clean and still have depression (for which I take medicine), and I get into the escape mode a lot (I surf the news or just try to numb my existence). I'm feeling lost, what am I missing?

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Sexual Fantasies During Relations

By obormottel

What are the halachic guidelines when it comes to thoughts during sex? Is there any way for me to rewire my brain and stop this? I feel helpless. Thank you so much.

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Wet Dream Recourse

By obormottel

Dear Tzubrochen, When the subconscious mind starts to realize that you have made a decision not to watch pornography anymore, it rebels. It wants the "drug." It wants that rush of adrenaline and raised heartbeat. Therefore, when it is in charge - when you are sleeping, ha...

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Inappropriate thoughts?

By obormottel

Question: I am a happily married man. But for a reason I don't know, this past week my mind has been driving me nuts with thoughts of other women, etc. These thoughts are so powerful. Is there a way to stop them? Are there any extra prayers I can be reciting? Is there so ...

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Why Does Hashem Test You?

By the.guard

Mesilas Yesharim says, "Kol inyanei haolam nisyanos heim l'adam -- All matters in this world, everything, are tests for man." That's a sweeping statement! What does it mean tests? Hashem has to test you to know what you are? He doesn't know beforehand what you're going to...

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Why is Porn Addictive?

By obormottel

Porn is addictive for the same reason that many drugs are addictive. Neuroscientist Dr. William Struthers explains how the brain reacts to viewing pornography repeatedly: As men fall deeper into the mental habit of fixating on these images, the exposure to them create...

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Porn and Divorce - is there a connection?

By obormottel

Testimony from Hearing on Pornography's Impact on Family and Marriage Beginning pornography use associated with increase in probability of divorce

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Awareness of Same Sex Attraction

By obormottel

Question: I'm male and sexually attracted to certain types of men. I've been brought up with weird parents. I also had a difficult upbringing and was bullied a lot. About half a year ago, someone recommended a book, "Bad Childhood, Good Life", which changed my life! Now I...

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How Porn Affects the Brain

By obormottel

When one struggles with pornography, triggers are everywhere, especially in the hypersexualized media all around us. It often takes just a simple image to set off the chemical reaction in the brain, which first develops by looking at pornography. Sadly, simply turning o...

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Can a recovering sex addict ever have sex?

By obormottel

Sex addicts new to recovery typically have little to no idea how to define sexual sobriety. Sometimes they worry that sexual sobriety is the same as chemical sobriety, where permanently abstaining is the ultimate goal. Many say that if that is the case, they’ll stick wi...

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Why does He let people murder other people?

By obormottel

AnswerMy sympathies for the murder of your cousin. It is an unfathomable tragedy and I share your grief.Your question is a complex one, and the answer contains many variables. I will present them all for you here. I hope that something I have written helps to console you ...

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Where is the addict IN control?

By obormottel

I'm a lust addict. What does that mean? It means that even when I'm not actually doing the big act, I'm thinking about it. I'm fantasizing. I'm checking out women for lower-level excitement. And the pressure builds until I am completely out of control and act out again...

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What's wrong with Porn?

By obormottel

According to the non-profit Fight The New Drug (FTND), which relies on dozens of studies for its pornography data, "men who go to prostitutes are twice as likely to have watched a porn film in the last year compared to the general population." So is porn a statistically-p...

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