Stories

Approaching Day 70 (!!!)

By the.guard

Hey chevreh, approaching day 70 (!!!) Lots of emotional ups and downs, although I can testify that this has been a life changing experience so far, and one of the better life choices I've made. I've developed closer bonds with my loved ones, and have come clean (literall...

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From the Trenches

By the.guard

I was at a wedding last night and there was lots of stuff to look at, the cake, the miniatures, the bar, the choir, oh, and the women. I practiced. Closed my eyes, took some deep breaths and whispered gam zeh ya'avor ("this too, shall pass"). And eventually, they all did...

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Yetzer Hara: Case Closed

By the.guard

I want to thank GYE for the amazing website. I am only into Day 21 and already so many wonderful things have happened (Thank G-d)!!! The resources on the site and the Daily-emails have been invaluable!!! I am so grateful and appreciative that HaShem has led me (and so man...

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100 Days and staying on focus

By obormottel

I am not proud of all these things but just in case there is someone out there who finds this and thinks that he's alone - you should know, I was as perverted as they come.

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Stories of growth and triumph

By obormottel

*I was getting my teeth cleaned today - by a female hygienist who had to reach over me a couple times. והמבין יבין. I tried so hard to control my thoughts and think of Hashem's love in giving me this test. And, you know what she said to me? "Wow! You're a great patient! N...

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An SMS of Recovery

By obormottel

I landed back in Newark clean b'h. There was one point towards the end of the flight where everyone around me was watching movies with explicit content and I felt the temptation. I took off my glasses asked Hashem to get rid of the urge and b'h it went away.

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A Slip is Just a Slip

By obormottel

I am almost up to 40 days without a fall, and my wife is assur now, which makes things a little harder. Last night, I was reading business news and they had something about some woman etc. I googled who she was and a movie where she is the main actor came up. Not thinking...

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Success stories - short and sweet

By obormottel

1) A chaver who speaks/texts regularly with me, reached out for help today. His wife had been off limits for a very long time. There were very challenging moments, but with work and b'ezras Hashem he stayed clean. Today she was to go to the mikva but this morning she foun...

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From the Diary of a 12 Step Member

By obormottel

I had a miracle today which also reminds me how sick I am and can lose my new-found sanity in a matter of seconds. I've been abroad with my wife for a few weeks, I had with me a little dinky phone which I would never have imagined would be able to support any picture onli...

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An awesome opportunity

By obormottel

It was the week before Rosh HaShanah and I decided I will try to hold out from porn and masturbation the whole week. I was having a hard time but I kept pushing through. Then, a couple of days before the Yom HaDin, I was doing work in a place and there were some triggers ...

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Hashiveinu - even at the last moment

By obormottel

Rabbi Dov Bensoussan spoke recently about how Hashem is a "Rotze b'Tshuva" and sometimes we merit to see how He puts the opportunity to do Teshuva right in front of us. He related the story of a young man who was, unfortunately, traveling to a private place with a non-Jew...

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On Target!

By obormottel

I was driving from the target store in my neighborhood and a pretty girl came into view. Of course, I wanted to look but I decided that as difficult as it will be I won't. I was making a turn and I thought I was going to pass the test once I did. The problem is she crosse...

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I have nothing to hide

By obormottel

Yesterday, the internet was down at work. That means the techies come in and get to work.Till 48 days ago, I always got nervous when this happened. What if they start digging and find out all the stuff I saw? It may not be inappropriate websites but my boss would probably...

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Slave to my Phone

By obormottel

We got a "venting email" from a woman a few weeks ago: How can I say no to my phone? Sometimes, I think to myself that it's pathetic that I need to keep looking at Instagram, Whatsapp profile pics, Facebook etc., not for porn, but just because either I'm bored or to see ...

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Women in recovery: complete change

By obormottel

Yesterday, while I was on Youtube, I noticed a feature that hadn't struck me before. Every video that you've ever viewed is underlined in red. I was so completely shocked to see how much time I had wasted. I felt like I was wasting my life away and the darkness started ...

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Coping with emotional turmoil - the healthy way

By obormottel

One of my issues is being quite unable to process highly emotional events. It triggers my anxiety in an exaggerated fashion. I am, BH, being slowly weaned off my medications and am, bli ayin hora, doing very well. This emotional challenge is a residual issue which will ho...

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He did for me what I could not do for myself

By obormottel

So last night had me congested and tossing and turning because of it. Keeping my mouth open wasn't helping, nor the nervous mind-mantra "fall asleep fall asleep fall asleep it's getting late." At that point, I was sure that only masturbating would help me fall asleep and ...

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Being close to G-d

By GYE Admin

Dear GYE, Thank you for your congratulations on my reaching 1 year clean, it touched my heart deeply. Thank you, GYE, it definitely would not have been possible without you. Lately, I have been meditating, a practice that I have learnt recently. If I can work at its root,...

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