Tips & Suggestions

Yes it's true. A lust addict has a disability. His mind has been warped to objectify people. He suffers from neediness and vulnerability, and is sometimes prone to depression. He is also limited the range of his activities if he wants to stay sober. He can't just "lust a ...

Sometimes it just seems so hard to resist. After all, it's so easy to access the pleasures. They just seem to be everywhere! And we ask ourselves, "how can Hashem expect us to hold back when it's so easy to get it all?" There are two things we can tell ourselves when thes...

A quote from the Mishpacha Article (on Dr. Phillip Rosenthal): Install a keylogger (like eBlaster). This invisible program lurks unseen on your computer, sending reports of every keystroke, including passwords, to an e-mail of your choice for your review. "Your kids can't...

If you have an I-Phone and you need a filter, please see this page for information. In the final analysis, you can't "filter" your lust away. Filters are there as a line of defense, but they are no substitute for sincere Teshuva and battling the Y"H. When I started trying...

Today is about a month since my last fall, but over two months since I began counting. I think that I can honestly say now, four weeks after the last fall, that even my fall was an exception to the rule, and was not really part of me, like it would have been before I star...

We had about 16 guys on conference call with Rabbi Dr. Naftali Fish of Yerushalayim (see www.nachatruach.com website) on Elya's phone group this past Sunday (see our Israeli Therapist Page for more about him). It was a good crowd and a lot of good questions were discussed...

Today is the Klausenberger Rebbe ztl's yahrtzeit. The Rebbe ztl said as follows: In my youth, I was considered a bright and diligent student. How did I accomplish this? I tricked my yetzer hara. Other children had great plans at the beginning of the school year for the wh...

If we feel the insanity setting in... If we feel we must give in and can't hold back... If we feel that if we don't give in to our will, we'll die. Remember: It's all a lie.We won't die if we don't give in to our will. It's the opposite. OUR WILL WILL KILL US. Only when w...

I had a chiddush this morning on the concept of "one day at a time". The meforshim explain that Teshuva should mimic the form of the aveira. For example, if you ran to do averios, then run to do mitzvos, if you sinned with your money, do mitzvos with your money, etc. Wel...

I heard from Rav Osher Zelig Rubinstein, Rosh Yeshiva of Toras Simcha in Yerushalayim: "America was founded on three universal rights as enumerated in the Declaration of Independence: Life, Liberty, & the Pursuit of Happiness. Life - They have life, Liberty - they hav...

My wife is overweight and it's depressing. It really bothers me. (1) Is it possible to change the reality in my mind, and make myself think she is beautiful? (2) How can I at least grow from this nissayon? What is my avodah? To thank Hashem and accept it without knowing w...

Welcome Halevi. First, you are not a bad Jew. Hashem created T'shuvah even before Torah - not for the zaddik gamur. He made it for us struggling yiddin, who love Hashem and long for Him with such ferocity that we cry ourselves to sleep sometimes. Next, you will learn here...

I was an addict for thirty years and I was saved through a neder, like a nazir. I believe that a lust addict can be modeled effectively almost as a person with multiple personalities. Usually he believes he is a tzadik, and he feels bad about his "bad habit." When he is s...

Rav Yochanan Ben Zakai blessed his students, "May your fear of heaven be equal to your fear of man". And his students asked him: "Rebbe, is that all?". And he answered: "Halevai!".

I don't even wish I was ever innocent. "WHAT?? ARE YOU CRAZY, OFF YOUR ROCKER, COMPLETELY TURKEY JERKY BEZERKY?" Nope! I just really think that this whole addiction ended up being good for me. You know why? It made me think. It made me aware of my effort to be good. It ma...

Below is a page from a book called "Facing the Shadows" by Partick Carnes on sexual addiction. It charts some of the vital changes in thinking/life-style that an addict needs to undergo in recovery.

"daat" writes on the forum for the first time: I "stumbled" onto this site a few days ago. I'm 3 days clean. Something seems more serious after finding this site. There's no high from being clean yet at this time. Actually, I'm feeling scared. Not scared of Hashem, "sca...

"Leap, and the net will appear" (Zen saying) We call this "Bitachon". We are afraid to give up our unhealthy tendencies. Don't be afraid. Hashem set up the net. It's safe. And it's the path to true freedom and happiness. Leap, and the net will appear. That was Naaseh V'Ni...