Attitude Tips

'Moshe843' wrote on the forum for the first time: I respect anyone with the strength and courage to overcome their evil inclination but sadly, I really don't think I care enough. But it bothers me that I don't care... I'm so bogged down by years of disillusionment and cyn...

Someone wrote on the forum: I hope I can stop the addiction and become a good Jew! Dov Responds: First of all, you already are a "good Jew". Perfect - no... but good - surely. Hashem certainly loves us even though you and I have weaknesses and may make terrible mistakes ...

This past Shabbos afternoon I went out for a nice walk with my wife and children, even though my wife offered to take them by herself and let me rest. Also, I joked around with my kids to put them to bed instead of just ordering them to go to sleep. I actually have a goo...

An addiction, by definition, is something that controls us. We can not ever dream of controlling it. We are fooling ourselves if we think we can win a battle against it. If a big bully comes toward me, a guy I know is too big for me, too strong, I'll NEVER overpower this ...

The Yetzer Hara plays awful tricks on us. He tells us: YOU CAN'T STOP, YOU'RE UNDER MY CONTROL, YOU'RE ALL MINE! Then, right after we act out, he turns around and gets us to believe: IT'S ALL MY FAULT! IT'S ALL MY FAULT! IT'S ALL MY FAULT! See the contradiction? We'd n...

When we feel Tension/stress/anxiety/whatever you wana call it, the mind automatically searches for comfort... We automatically reach for our good (read: bad) old comforter... Thing is, it never delivers on it's promises... It may or may not sooth us for a few minutes, but...

One of the main principles we learn on GYE is that after a certain point, it's not just a struggle with the Yetzer Hara anymore - it's an addiction. But many of us can easily say "oh, I am an addict" soon after landing here... Maybe we like saying that, because in some wa...

Here's one thing that came to mind recently, inspired by DC's call (but it's my own musings): When I'm outside, why is it so hard to guard my eyes? I think it's because I go on "TAKER" mode as soon as I step outside. "I'm gonna take, I'm gonna look at whoever there is to ...

I was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer. As I face the thought of maybe not ever being with my wife again (at least for a year), I look back at the 20 years before I knew I was an addict and think about all of the times I manipulated my wife into being with me, when...

The tragedy of addiction and powerlessness can turn into the biggest blessing, if we use it the way it was intended by G-d; i.e. as a springboard for inner-change and spiritual growth. "You cannot see My face, for man cannot see My face and live... you will see My back, b...

Have you destroyed what you worked for in the last 89 days? Well, the chofetz chaim says about lashon hora that if someone restrains himself from speaking, even for a minute, he gets access to a spiritual light that even the angels cannot fathom. That's even if he can't c...

Dearest Brothers in Arms, Permit me to share what I learned from my last fall. I was clean for months and months at the time. This was prior to having found the GYE network and I was not counting days, nor did I have a sobriety date. Why should I be counting days? A chosh...

I remember reading once something in the Sefer "B'Nei Machshava Tova": People think that we can't feel our soul. But in reality we CAN feel it, but we've been conditioned to misinterpret it. For example: Sometimes you feel uneasy. You try to eat something or take a nap to...

I was having a conversation with someone from the forum and here is how it went: I said, "I believe in you", then he said, "I believe in me in short spurts, but not for the long haul"... It then occurred to me that we are in total agreement... Because there is no long hau...

I want to share today something that I feel is very important to make sure I get out - and off my chest. The 90 days is for sure a must to get where you want to go. However, the first day is more important then the rest of those 90. I look back now and see that at day 1,...

So here I am on my third week of my climb back up... How can I make this one better?... How do I make these clean days get me more return for my buck than the last days did?... I think about something I first learned from Dov and read about later in the SA literature... S...

Silent Battle wrote: We have this idea in our head - a kind of script, really - that in various situations, our response is supposed to be to act out. It might be "when I'm under stress," or "when I'm lonely," or "when I'm triggered." But somehow, we've accepted that it'...

Yes it's true. A lust addict has a disability. His mind has been warped to objectify people. He suffers from neediness and vulnerability, and is sometimes prone to depression. He is also limited the range of his activities if he wants to stay sober. He can't just "lust a ...