Attitude Tips

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” — Lao Tzu

My sponsor told me that I should be a grateful alcoholic and always have “an attitude of gratitude”—that gratitude was the basic ingredient of humility, that humility was the basic ingredient of anonymity and that “anonymity was the spiritual foundation of all our Traditi...

A Practice For When You Find Yourself Annoyed by Other People By Leo Babauta It’s a common thing to be frequently annoyed by other people — added to our regular interactions with family, friends and coworkers are the online habits of people on various social media, and t...

I was 35 years old the first time I spoke up to my mother and refused to buy into her games and manipulation. . .I didn't have to start an argument. But I could say what I wanted and needed to say to take care of myself. I learned I could love and honor myself, and still ...

When we were approaching חודש שבט I heard from Reb Shlomo Meyer a vort that was tremendous chizuk for me all these years. שבט ר״ת שמרם ברכם טהרם. This month, which is entirely during the weeks of שובבים is here to remind us what our goal in life is. We ask Hashem, please...

R' Avraham Alter ran a Yeshiva in Chicago for many years. He worked together with Baalei Teshuva. There was one fellow who was straddling the fence for a number of years. R' Avraham very much wanted this fellow to make a commitment. And he told the fellow, "You got to do ...

Mesilas Yesharim says, "Kol inyanei haolam nisyanos heim l'adam -- All matters in this world, everything, are tests for man." That's a sweeping statement! What does it mean tests? Hashem has to test you to know what you are? He doesn't know beforehand what you're going to...

One of the greatest challenges in the life of a Jew, especially in the generation we live in, is the concept of hotza'as zera levatalah, emitting seed in vain. This is an extremely difficult prohibition that many, many struggle with, often unsuccessfully. Unfortunately, i...

I was in a grocery store, unloading my cart on the counter, and behind me was an attractive lady. She began unloading her stuff from the cart on the same counter as well. It was very triggering to me. I was turning back and forth for my stuff, and she was so close to me, ...

Whether you’re an athlete, entrepreneur, teacher, parent, manager, or - fill in the blank here -, what percentage of your game do you think is mental? When Lanny Bassham, our Olympic gold-medal-winner, asks elite performers that question, they all say that elite perfo...

Habit #2 of "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey Begin with the End in Mind So, once we move from being reactive to being proactive (Habit #1), we realize we aren’t victims. We’re creators. Which, naturally, begs the question: What do we want to ...

I just read a Medrash today that asks, "Why does Hashem forgive the sins of the Yidden and not those of the goyim?" Answers the Medrash, that when a goy sins it's because he wants to throw off the yoke of Heaven. But when a Yid sins, it's only out of taavah or laziness, b...

Somewhere in our past life, we may have picked up the idea that it's not all right to ask for help, that asking for help would be a sign of weakness. Recovery calls for some basic changes in our thinking, and when we feel vulnerable is the best time to reach out and ask ...

The Lies The Truths If no one sees me, no one loves me. Porn gives me the feeling of being loved I am seen. I am worthy of love. When I am alone, I can hold on to love. I deserve this, I do some much, I deserve a break I deserve good self-care. My needs...

Porn is everywhere in our culture and is increasingly socially acceptable and even defended. You’ve been to the mall (bookstore, movie theater, etc.); you know that sex is largely seen as no big deal. What you may be wondering is why it matters. So what if porn is every...

A favorite saying in sports is, "It isn't losing to get knocked down. Losing is staying down." In life, as in sports, that idea makes great sense. Like "Let go and let God," or "Let it begin with me," it is a saying that reminds us of an important underlying principle. In...

The Mishna says, "Hevey mechasheiv hefseida neged scharah." Why mechasheiv? Because the yetzer hara doesn't want us to make a cheshbon. It wants us to be filled with a ruach shtus and close our eyes and go with the inertia of doing an aveira. If you think about it in adv...