EvedHashem1836 wrote on 27 Apr 2021 15:09:

Moe was wondering why his neighbors are making such a racket 

Thank you Grant & HHM!
This last chapter should be mandatory reading for every chosson!
BUT..... 

Heilege Reb Grant, 
i usually don’t post on the forum, but your story is. Fantastic! I am sure it is helping MANY people. Keep it up! We’re all in suspense!

guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/367562-Re-Can-anyone-relate

Hey Grant, are you planning on continuing the story at some point. I'm sure you're very busy, and if the quality of the story is any indication, I'm sure it takes a lot of effort to write each section...

Looking_to_improve wrote on 24 May 2021 21:59:

Iyh will continue. Unfortunately these days I'm not in the correct frame of mind. Hopefully soon I'll be able to continue.  

Looking forward to the next installment. This story has been for me like doing a Step 1, feeling the pain of the disease. I especially appreciate seeing the wife's side of the story. So powerful!

... And here is Tzitzis Dude, STILL wondering how The General will tie peanut butter and Corona into Moe and Esther (and Chani, maybe...)

tzitzis dude wrote on 03 Jun 2021 04:03:

Don't you get it?

It was all just a bad dream! They do that sometimes. (I hope not...)

Once again, Harav HaGeneral, you hit the point like a sledgehammer. Wow. 

Tzitzis dude said it all.

To be honest if I was in this situation i might have started off with Moe's second explanation of how a man's brain works

Epic! It's scary reading this stuff from an outside point of view, really gets me thinking...

I'd like to make an observation please; it's somethin' that I have been workin' on lately, and it has shown results.

The observation is that in the last installment, the word "but" was used 12 times.

Experts say that one should use that word sparingly, perhaps not at all.

Why?

1. You are tryin' to control a person's judgment or perception of you.
2. You know what you truly and honestly think/want/feel, but at the same time, you are not ready to fully commit to it.
3. You are anticipatin' someone's response.
4. It can come off to someone as attackin' and immediately put them on the defensive.
5. It negates whatever precedes it.

It is important to pay attention to your use of the word ‘but’ because by doin' so you are contradictin' and invalidatin' everythin' that came before it. Evaluate what purpose the word ‘but’ is really servin' in your sentence and try to replace it with the word ‘and’ or 'at the same time' and perhaps some other words as well (take note of how this changes the meanin' of your sentence). Thinkin' and usin' a different word or expression creates a more effective and non-defensive conversation. By usin' 'at the same time' you channel a more collaborative feelin' with your communication.

Let's cite an example or two:

*** I don't know if you can ever understand how a man's brain works, but I want to explain my feelings to you." I couldn't believe my ears. Was he still trying to make ME UNDERSTAND HIM?!?

Let's replace:

I don't know if you can ever understand how a man's brain works, and I'd like to try explainin' my feelings to you."

She still might be upset, and perhaps the outrage may be decreased.

*** This made Moe angry. He knew he did something wrong, but he didn't feel that the responsibility was 100% with him.

Now, let's say he actually said that: I know I did something wrong, but I don't feel that the responsibility is 100% with me.

Now, let's switch: I know I did something wrong, and at the same time, I  feel that the responsibility is not 100% with me.

Subtle, but more mellowed.

One more:

*** I know what I did was bad, but I wanna just explain myself....

Let's switch: I know what I did was bad, and I'd like to explain myself.

Practice - you'll notice your conversations will have a different tone.

Godspeed

Thanks for the Grammer lesson, it was very informative, "but at the same time" it was also enlightening.

hmmmm