Hi Everyone

I made it to 90 days clean!
Anyone can do it
The problem is continuing
The drive to get to 90 is powerful but then there's a challenge to keep going

good luck everyone!

Oysh! It's so hard to get back on track after falling. Unfortunately I haven't been good at all lately

 Love you all your friend Yankel

Here is to better days 

BS”D
As a Baal Teshuva in the process, my yetzer hara was telling me all these years not to go to GYE and ask for help when I’m in a nisayon and I’ll be fine and won’t fall, now I said “enough”. I took upon myself to be on GYE forum daily especially when in a nisayon. I also took upon myself to get up early in the morning  and daven Shacharit (which was the hardest thing for me), and learn Torah ( starting with the daily Aliya of the parasha, then Halachot (hilchot Shabbat and then Shulchan Aruch and Mishneh Torah), then Gemara (with chazara), then Mussar and shiuri Torah. I’m an addict for almost 5-4 years. And I realized that in the beginning of when I learned about this sin, I was doing Teshuva and was mamash doing all the mitzvot and had yirah Shamayim. But as I kept falling until now, I realized that my yirah shamayim is lowered drastically, now when I hear a scary shiur I don’t get scared, when I learn Torah I don’t understand it easily as I used to. I’m afraid I’ve got the punishment that Rambam says it’s the worst punishment one can get, of not doing teshuva. I’ll start from today to be on GYE daily  and hopefully I’ll break free and do Teshuva shlema, or at least finish the first level of Teshuva which is stopping the sin. It’s very hard for me to write what I wrote, my heart is despairing but I still have the hope of breaking free. I’ll keep updating you about my journey here and ask for help when I’m under a nisayon. May it be HaShem’s will, that with your merit I’ll succeed.

BS”D
As a Baal Teshuva in the process, my yetzer hara was telling me all these years not to go to GYE and ask for help when I’m in a nisayon and I’ll be fine and won’t fall, now I said “enough”. I took upon myself to be on GYE forum daily especially when in a nisayon. I also took upon myself to get up early in the morning  and daven Shacharit (which was the hardest thing for me), and learn Torah ( starting with the daily Aliya of the parasha, then Halachot (hilchot Shabbat and then Shulchan Aruch and Mishneh Torah), then Gemara (with chazara), then Mussar and shiuri Torah. I’m an addict for almost 5-4 years. And I realized that in the beginning of when I learned about this sin, I was doing Teshuva and was mamash doing all the mitzvot and had yirah Shamayim. But as I kept falling until now, I realized that my yirah shamayim is lowered drastically, now when I hear a scary shiur I don’t get scared, when I learn Torah I don’t understand it easily as I used to. I’m afraid I’ve got the punishment that Rambam says it’s the worst punishment one can get, of not doing teshuva. I’ll start from today to be on GYE daily  and hopefully I’ll break free and do Teshuva shlema, or at least finish the first level of Teshuva which is stopping the sin. It’s very hard for me to write what I wrote, my heart is despairing but I still have the hope of breaking free. I’ll keep updating you about my journey here and ask for help when I’m under a nisayon. May it be HaShem’s will, that with your merit I’ll succeed. 

Welcome,
GYE is full of different tools to help you stay clean, along with all the great people here.
I'd be happy to help you if you want. my email is 360gye@gmail.com

hi im 21 have been masterbating for years i realy want to stop and get rid of all this stuff ive tried many things but cant get going and sometimes that i most want to stop i cant find the will in me at all to refrain can anyone be hashems shliach to help me

Pidaini wrote on 22 Jan 2019 23:05:

Hooo!

I started my business about 3 years ago and that's when the stress really kicked in. I hadn't smoked in a year and once I started my business I started smoking again. Right after followed pornagraphy but no masterbation. Then I stopped for a while and started again when the stress level went up high again till I couldn't hold anymore and acted out.

So I'm currently 162 days of not being motzei zera l'vatala but only 1 day of not masturbating, b/c I just blocked sperm from coming out. My top record of not masturbating is 118 days. What works a lot for me is listening to jewish music, but apparently it's not bullet proof. Like sometimes u just don't want to listen to music, or what if it's Shabbos (I don't need porn to masturbate)? Idk I'm looking fwd to reading what works for other ppl, so i can get more tools for myself. I plan on getting past 90 this time. I'm gonna make TaPHSiC soon.

#163

Thank you Hashem!

It's hard to be clean, just saying.

Sometimes I just want to give in.

But B''h I am way more interested in being clean, functioning and living better, and being closer to Hashem.

EscapeArtist wrote on 21 Jan 2019 16:54:

I think they call this "cross-talk" in SA....

EscapeArtist wrote on 21 Jan 2019 02:37:

Son wrote on 14 Jan 2019 14:38:

If you plan on dating a typical Bais Yaakov girl, & you plan on telling her this, just do it before pulling outta the driveway on date #1, & save yourself a trip to the marriott...
Even married women w/ kids have serious contemplations of walking out,
קל וחומר a date. this is total "freak out" material for these girls.

if it's a serious relationship issue, & not just a once-in-a-while יצר הרע (which is normal - not "baggage" IMHO), then speak to a Rav (competent in this field) if you're ready to date at all, or should work on recovery first. I agree it's unfair to bring a serious issue into the marriage w/o telling, you gotta speak to a professional how to pull it off & still make it to the wedding...

You should have LOTS of הצלחה, in this battle & in שידוכים!

Yankellllllll!!!!!!!

Stick around for a bit this time...

Rabbi Dr. Twerski opinion on the matter is to tell. Truth and openness are the bedrock of all relationships, and secrets destroy relationships. How to present it and when to tell is a different matter. Good luck.