I am not a Lubavitcher but I think that the following words in the first Perek are very relevant to our struggle:

וגם, אם יהיה בעיניו כרשע, ירע לבבו ויהיה עצב, ולא יוכל לעבוד ה' בשמחה ובטוב לבב.

I think that in Lubavitch they say that our sins should bother us a little bit but not too much except for the designated times when we do Teshuva as is written later in the Tanya. As I wrote, I am not a Lubavitcher so I may be wrong.

If anyone wants to join me in discussing different practical things to learn from Tanya to help in our day to day life, please let me know. 
I try to learn a perek Tanya every day so I would love to do something daily and I learned today perek alef.

It warms my heart to see you back here posting.
Please don't run away...

I am greatful for cotton socks.
I am greatful for my camera.
I am greaful for my new shabbos hat.

Thanks for all the feedback guys (yea I know I'm 5 months late lol). I don't even know what to say or do anymore. Right now im 2 days clean from pure white knuckling. I know it's not the best strategy but I feel like if I constantly remind myself why I do this then perhaps it will help me succeed. It's just hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like I will suffer from withdrawl for the rest of my llife.

Reb Jolly, I hope you don't mind that I respond here based on our messaging.

(I've heard various versions of this story, and whichever version is true, the message remains).

When Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, the great Rosh Yeshiva of the Mir, was a young bachur learning in Grodno, he went to visit to his uncle, the Rosh Yeshiva of Novardok, Rav Avrahahm Yaffen. During his visit, he asked his uncle to show him the best bachur in the Yeshiva. Rav Yaffen pointed to one bachur and said this is the greatest amkan in the yeshiva, he has the most penetrating insights. He next pointed to a different bachur and said he is the biggest masmid in the yeshiva, he is the most diligent. And he continued to point to different bochrim and point out each one as the greatest. This one for his Yiras Shomayim, incredible piety, or that one for his bekius, breadth of knowledge.

Rav Chaim said to his uncle, these are all great talmidim, but in the end which one is the greatest bachur in the yeshiva? The Rosh Yeshiva answered: “None of the above.”  Rav Chaim was stunned. “None of the above?  You just spoke about each of their virtues and nobility.  If not them, who is the best?”  His uncle took him to one of the corners of the Beis Medrish and showed him a bachur and said: “This is the greatest bachur in the whole yeshiva.” Rav Chaim was perplexed – in mentioning all the previous great bochrim his uncle never even mentioned this bachur, yet he is the greatest in the whole yeshiva?!

The Rosh Yeshiva answered, “This bachur’s defining trait is greater than all of the other bochrim in the yeshiva – this bachur is a mevakeish, he is a seeker and a searcher.  The others may be smarter, more diligent, more pious, but he is the hungriest, he wants it the most.” That mevakeish ended up being the great Steipler Gaon, Rav Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky.

Brother Jolly, you are one that wants it badly. You look at others as if they are greater than you because they have this maileh or that perceived maileh. You have a hard time seeing in yourself what others see in you. Past any mistakes and regrettable choices is a man that desires deeply to do the right thing and give it his all to connect with Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

ישמח לב מבקשי השם

Please see what we see. Be inspired by what inspires us. Not someone that is perfect, no, davka someone that is imperfect, and still, he seeks Hashem with all his heart. The same heart that will be filled with joy when you accept that you have this greatest maileh.  וכן , when you are willing to realize the potential of this koach that you have, I believe you will find the strength to accomplish the madreigos that you seek. Stop looking at where you are not, so that you may see the value in who you already are.

Kol Tov and a gutten Chodesh 

chancyhk wrote on 28 Apr 2025 17:24:

Look man, as a wiser (and deader) professor than myself said, "He exhibits no measurable talent. His arrogance rivals even his father's. And he seems to relish his fame." I'd say you should take it up with him, but thanks to the creator of this sacred space, he's gone.

Its been a while but I'm back.
Just needed a little break from this topic, but nothing goes away like that.
hope everyone on hear is doing ok.

I am grateful to be fighting this fight.
I am grateful that I can turn to Hashem at any time at speak to him.
I am grateful for phones.
I am grateful that I have a roof over my head.
I am grateful for hot water boilers.

Oh my, just saw this now. 
I hope all works out and goes smoothly.
Mazel tov.

iyh2023 wrote on 29 Apr 2025 17:14:

Unless you confund us or us the Imperious curse I'm afraid that's impossible......this thread was litteraly started by Voldemort and Mad Eye Moody who happen to be the same person (though I'm not sure who's using the pollyjuice potion on whom) we absuloutely must T4, I mean I don't even think there's an excuse to miss an episode of Potterwatch if possible. (the next password gobbillygrunckinydinkinmellowbutter by the way)

I relapsed. I had 3 months of sobriety in SA, and the SA experience was & still is enlighting and amazing. Coming from a guy who couldn't make it 3 days without masterbation, 3 months is quite the acomplishment although it still absoloutely sucks to relapse. My life in SA is exponentially better than it was before I joined. I am changing as a person and learning to live a functional, normal and serene life. I now have tools to deal with anxiety, panic attacks, OCD, perfectionisim and a whole slew of other issues that were making my life miserable. I still have a long way to go and a whole load of step work to do, but "it works if you work it" and life will only get better. I was so far able to get back up, start again, make it to meetings, make some phone calls, and do some step work. Life goes on and I have no other options but SA and the 12 Steps (unless I fancy dying a slow painful sexaholic death wheather physical emotional or spiritual.) Rabbi Twerski used to say about relapses "If you're driving from NY to California and you're car breaks down in Montana you don't tow it back to NY and start again, you fix it there and continue the journey."  All good and true but relapse still sucks- just putting it out there!

iyh2023 wrote on 29 Apr 2025 17:14:

No, Cant do. 

chaimoigen wrote on 25 Apr 2025 20:02:

CO:Sorry I just saw this that you posted me on Friday.

I appreciate the warm wishes more then you can imagine. TY!

I certainly understand the diff between not changing enough and not changing at all. I always did.
However, I still stand by my self assessment. I would not want  to discuss why I think this way on an public forum due to many considerations.

Finally, I certainly hope that I will get there. I truly believe HKBH gave me the ability to. The only question is do I have enough willpower to see it through. I am certainly going to try.

Thank you CO again for the warm wishes!

Here is my grouch:

Hows 'bout y'all quit this Hairy [sic] potter t4ing