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  • jack123
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AWESOME I beat my record of 24 days im 25 days!!!
closing in on a month
לב טהור ברא לי אלקים 

Re: Marriage in general 16 Sep 2019 03:47 #343579

  • Hashem Help Me
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It is so interesting that you cannot imagine a productive life without orgasm. I had also talked that into myself for years and it took tremendous work to undo. Although one may enjoy orgasm, it is not a necessity like eating, drinking, and sleeping. One can lead a most productive life full of Torah, Mitzvos, Chessed, success in business/medicine/inventing, etc. You can enjoy the very many thrills in life that are kosher and healthy. As mentioned I suffered from this big fat lie for many years. Start reprogramming your brain chaver; it's well worth it.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: from zero to 90 16 Sep 2019 03:35 #343578

  • Hashem Help Me
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The yetzer hara loves to watch us beat ourselves up. He tells us, "Don't you dare celebrate 8 days of keeping the eyes pure, and who cares if you held back from masturbating until day 9. You are a worthless shmatte anyway". Most of us here started our journey masturbating almost every day or even (like me), multiple times a day. If someone switches to once in 9 days that translates into doing it approx. 40/45 times a year instead of approx. 350/360. To me that sounds like a huge accomplishment. And as we proceed in this area, we break out more and more b'ezras Hashem, so the ratio gets even wider. Stay focused on the goal, and hang on to all the outstretched hands here and iyh soon you will be writing posts like this to new chevra in their throes of despair. Hatzlocha.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE
The following user(s) said Thank You: Gevura Shebyesod, i-man

Re: Marriage in general 15 Sep 2019 23:19 #343576

  • yen
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The desire you have to change makes you a special person. I agree you should look for a new yeshiva or a new Rav. Hashem has a special girl who is waiting for you to work on yourself to get ready and marry her and have an amazing life together. This is something you must KNOW! 

Also please see the affects of porn on our brains. search on youtube "Your Brain on Porn: How Internet porn affects the brain"
Last Edit: 15 Sep 2019 23:22 by yen.
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Re: Marriage in general 15 Sep 2019 20:14 #343574

  • Iampowerless
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Buddy i don't know where you stand religiously but why does that mean there is a strong chance that you won't get married, you got all kinds of girls on the lady's section as well? 

What kind of rosh yeshiva speaks like that? I don't know all the details but if I'm understanding correctly. It might be time to find a new rosh yeshiva, who can properly help you find your own unique personal path in life, as I'm sure there are a lot of girls who will appreciate a good person like yourself, who is a work in progress and is trying as much as possible to improve.
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                       

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
Last Edit: 15 Sep 2019 20:18 by Iampowerless.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Gevura Shebyesod, forging on

Marriage in general 15 Sep 2019 19:59 #343573

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I haven't been in gye for a while unfortunately, I did go to therapy witch kind of helped but not really. I understand that there are a lot of benefits to quiting porn, and I am trying hard to do so. But I've seen that one of the main benefits is to not lessen this great urge and purpose of creating children and repurposing it for selfish reasons. How watching porn can ruin the relationship you have with your wife in a very real way. There is a very good chance I will never get married just because of who I am religiously, even my Rosh yeshivah said so. (I only mention that so people don't come to me saying, "you don't have enough self esteem" I am just being realistic).How am I supposed  to find the motivation to stop knowing that if I quit today most likely I will never have another orgasm on purpose in my entire life?
if someone could point me to some articles on this topic that would be super helpful, or your own thoughts on the matter would be great too.
Thanks so much
  • yechidah
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Dvar Torah from Rav Kook ztl

The Torah portion opens and closes with the same theme: simchah, joy. It begins with the mitzvah of offering bikkurim (first-fruits) in the Temple, an exercise in appreciating what God has given us, as it says,



“You shall rejoice in all the good that the Lord your God has granted you and your family” (Deut. 26:11).


Afterwards, the Torah describes the terrible trials that will befall the Jewish people if they are unfaithful to the Torah’s teachings. This section concludes with the root cause for these punishments:



“Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joy (simchah) and contentment (tuv leivav).” (Deut. 28:47)


Not only does God expect us to keep the mitzvot, but we are to perform them with joy and contentment. What is the difference between these two emotions?

Joy and Contentment

Simchah and tuv leivav are two distinct levels of happiness. Interestingly, they are the result of contradictory perceptions.

What is the source of tuv leivav? This is a sense of satisfaction that we feel good about our service of God. We pray, study Torah, and perform mitzvot out of a feeling that we are doing what we were created to do. As one of God’s creations, it is natural for us to serve Him. We are grateful to have been blessed with the intellectual and spiritual capabilities needed to worship Him through Torah study and mitzvot.

Simchah, on the other hand, comes from the perception that some unexpected boon has befallen us. We feel joy in serving God when we are aware of the tremendous privilege in being able to connect to God — a gift far beyond our true level. Awareness of this amazing gift, while at the same time feeling that our service is appropriate and suitable, allows us to feel both simchah and tuv leivav.

Cultivating Joy

How does one attain this simchah in serving God? The secret to developing and enhancing our sense of joy is to reflect on two thoughts:


  • Appreciating the significance and wonder of every medium - such as Torah study and mitzvot — that allows us to connect with the Master of the universe.

  • Recognizing the Divine source of our soul and its inherent holiness, even though it may have become soiled through contact with the material world.


We experience genuine joy in serving God when we are able to thoroughly internalize these two insights

Re: from zero to 90 15 Sep 2019 13:38 #343566

  • Dave M
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drust wrote on 14 Sep 2019 15:06:
double damn. I just masturbate because of imagination what I'd seen yesterday. I thought about that pics and watched inappropriate movies again today.
It's not good at all. I should do something. 
disappointment, stressful condition and loneliness would led me to this endless circle.
God please help me. I'm all ears to your orders.

Don't get discouraged.  All beginnings are hard.  There will be alot of ups and downs.  I think a great start in this battle is to begin reading through the GYE handbook.  Have you started that yet?
The following user(s) said Thank You: ColinColin

Re: Ashrei HaIsh - How? 15 Sep 2019 12:49 #343565

  • Hashem Help Me
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Welcome to a great place. Here if you hang around, b'ezras Hashem you will get better. For starters, where are you watching the shmutz? At home? At work? Phone? Is there a reason that device is not properly filtered?
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE
  • yechidah
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wishing you all a wonderful week!!

Dvar Torah-Tavo

https://guardyoureyes.com/media/kunena/attachments/2149/tavoi-5779.pdf
Last Edit: 15 Sep 2019 11:07 by yechidah.

Re: Ashrei HaIsh - How? 15 Sep 2019 04:41 #343563

  • gyehelp2017
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Hi yidanochi,
​Happy to have another sincere person as you join us here on GYE. Try the tools from this great site and see what works for you, everyone here has their own recipe that works best for them. So stick around , and keep on posting your questions/comments (and even c"v falls).............. and you will get some great advice from so many who 'have be there' already and have recovered.
Hatzlucha raba!! 
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  • gyehelp2017
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#64
If we are not willing to work and change ourselves, then our problems can be endless and we can be helpless. But if we are willing to get to work and change, then with Hashems help nothing will stop us!
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Re: from zero to 90 15 Sep 2019 00:06 #343559

  • ColinColin
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Fund out another activity for when you get stressed.

Walking, reading, calling a friend etc.
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  • jack123
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quick thought
we leined this week bout יפת תאר where the torah was matir bc hkb"h knew that people wont be able to withstand the yetzer hora.
got me thinking; the only ONE situation the torah deems not withstandable is war. which needs understanding.
the answer is simple, in all other situations you have to make sure to avoid getting into the situation in the first place. of course once youre in it youre stuck, but why are you in it at all. wheras with war where the torah sent you to war [even if its milchemes reshus its still al pi Sanhedrin] so you have a rught to be there. therefore the torah is matir יפת תאר 
have a good week!
I don't mean to discourage anyone by this
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Re: from zero to 90 14 Sep 2019 15:06 #343557

  • drust
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double damn. I just masturbate because of imagination what I'd seen yesterday. I thought about that pics and watched inappropriate movies again today.
It's not good at all. I should do something. 
disappointment, stressful condition and loneliness would led me to this endless circle.
God please help me. I'm all ears to your orders.
The following user(s) said Thank You: sleepy
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