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Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

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  • Hakolhevel
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My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: My Daily Inspiration 30 Jun 2022 04:57 #382647

  • Hakolhevel
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From Harvey A. 

Stinkin' thinkin'. It's out minds that got us into this mess, why do we think our minds can get us out of the mess. Our minds are the problem!

My thoughts:
Personally I think this applies to addicts and non addicts alike (whatever the hell that means). I think most of us strugglers here on GYE are smart in other areas of our life, so why when it comes here we are so dumb???

Well our mind in this area is obviously full of cobwebs.

For thoe who want a religous source. Any Chavush Matie Es Atzmo.

G-nite everyone.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

My Daily Inspiration 30 Jun 2022 04:52 #382646

  • Hakolhevel
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Check out my main thread on page 23 for the main reason for this thread.

If you like, disagree or dont care at all what I have to say, it's all good. This thread is to help me, and if along the way, I help fellow travelers, Mah Tov!
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection
  • Hakolhevel
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Shortly after the above post I reach 90 days, and I promptly fell. since then I've been falling every 7-10 days. So where does that leave me?

I've decided I really want to be clean, I really like that life, I know there's a lot I'm going to have to do to obtain that, but I will start with the following:

I need (currently) to spend every day significant time on recovery. When I say every day, I mean every day. Would I do better going to some sort of meeting? Probably . But fir now I will go with this.

I will spend 30 minutes to an hour a day on recovery. Every day (aside from shabbos, and shabbos i never fall anyway, as I only fall with porn) Every day I will either be
1. Working a program (ideal)
2. Listening to recovery recordings3. Reading recovery books.

Currently I'm listening to the daily reprieve podcast (it's SA) and reading man interuppted (by Phillip zimbardo)

However we human beings can easily mistake consumption for progress. As in, well if I'm listening to a podcast, I'm probably getting bettr right? Not necessarily. So to bring it home, ideally I will talk to chaverim, but regardless to make sure I'm getting something out of the "consumption" I will be making anothr thread where I will BE"H post every day something I learned.

How long will this last? Who cares I just need to know that today this is what I'm going to do.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection
The following user(s) said Thank You: committed_togrowth

Re: My new life 30 Jun 2022 04:22 #382644

  • bochur23
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Oh, and I had another clean day boruch hashem.
Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com
The following user(s) said Thank You: Vehkam

Re: My new life 30 Jun 2022 04:19 #382643

  • bochur23
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Kavey wrote on 29 Jun 2022 16:25:
I've also noticed the discrepancy but are you sure they are different really? I think the 90 day chart also counts Tuesday just it's the halachic day so it's from the night before. Just my two cents.

If that's the issue then I should've only gotten to day 9 tonight. It does seem to be going by the halachic day, but my issue is that it's counting last Monday as clean even though I fell that morning.

When are you going to speak to that person. Make it happen, this is your life

I can give excuses from today to tomorrow... And for the rest of my life... בקיצור, it doesn't matter why. I just need to do it.

Writing the truth here is easy. Actually doing it is another thing.
Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com
Last Edit: 30 Jun 2022 04:20 by bochur23.
Im at a stressful time in my life. Im looking into new yeshiva’s, hopefully somewhere with a smaller, warmer environment  and in short it’s been a pretty stressful week. (Not as stressful as I expected, but stressful nonetheless…). I’ve spent a good amount of time in New York and the way that people dress there is way worse than where I’m currently residing. If i was my old self, i most definitely would have fallen. But i feel like a new person right now. I’ve been pretty on top of my game with not staring on the street (taking off my glasses, looking down, etc.) and i didn’t feel like i was going to fall. This is a good feeling to have after so many ups and downs over the last few months. Anyway, three days left until i hit 90!!

Face the challenge
If you are in the same situation as me, a bachur who’s fighting every day to break free, feel free to reach out to me at hopeful1245@gmail.com. I can use the chizuk from other bachrim and im sure you can use the chizuk as well. We are all in this together!
The following user(s) said Thank You: committed_togrowth, Vehkam

Re: Living a holy life 30 Jun 2022 02:18 #382638

300 cumulative clean days today, thank you Hashem. Working on kedusha will inevitably bring highs and lows, the joy of success and the pain of momentary failure. But the process is undoubtedly, 100% worth it.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Gevura Shebyesod, Avrohom, Face the challenge
  • OivedElokim
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I don't find that I expect the pleasure to be more then it is. The actual pleasure is enough for me...
Minimizing the temptation is not a strategy that works for me.
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 
Last Edit: 30 Jun 2022 01:11 by OivedElokim.

Re: Regular Kollel Guy 30 Jun 2022 00:39 #382636

  • mggsbms
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regular kollel guy wrote on 29 Jun 2022 03:35:
Thank you for all those sources and chizuk! I still feel down because I feel an entire zman is somewhat ruined by falling even once during the zman. One of my goals is to learn betahara for an entire zman. Looking forward to accomplishing that in the near future

This self stigma approach, canceling a "zeman" because of a fall, even one fall, has more to do about image, self image, then torah or kedusha, think about it, it can be very destructive. We need to stop putting our image front and center, and do what's right at the moment. You're doing great keep it up, and don't look back.
Aka -  Mischadeish075

Re: Tefillah 29 Jun 2022 22:37 #382630

  • bisyata dishmaya
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will do IYH
The best tool in my opinion: Every day say Tehillim 16 32 41 42 59 77 90 105 137 150 Hatzlocha!

Re: Bego 29 Jun 2022 20:20 #382628

  • Sapy
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Did Bego ever say hes closing the book on trying? He just doesent have the urge to feel now like life ended... and all the scary things will now happen in this world and the other one... 

That's the way I read his posts. And I relate to that.
The following user(s) said Thank You: mggsbms

Re: Tefillah 29 Jun 2022 19:49 #382627

  • Chooseurname
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@bisiyata dishmaya You got it! And yes, I would definitely appreciate your tefillos for me.
Last Edit: 29 Jun 2022 19:50 by Chooseurname.

Re: Tefillah 29 Jun 2022 19:48 #382626

  • Chooseurname
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DavidT wrote on 28 Jun 2022 19:47:

Chooseurname wrote on 28 Jun 2022 13:38:
Hey,

I wanted to try this out. We all know the idea that someone who davens for someone else is answered first (if not from the gemara then at list it's a mefurash song).
In that spirit I'd like to try davening for someone else to have success with shmiras eineyim. If anyone thinks they'd like to have me daven for them, please message me your hebrew name, or just comment in the thread. If you don't want to share your name, still comment and I'll daven for your username.

Thanks!

Great idea!
the Aruch Hashulchan writes that when praying in front of the sick person one need not mention the name of the choleh, rather one should pray that Hashem send a speedy recovery to “this sick person.” His source is from the verse which describes Moshe Rabbeinu praying for his sister Miriam Hanivea. The verse states: “Moshe cried out to the Lord, saying, “I beseech you, God, please heal her.” (Bahaloscha 12:13) He explains that Moshe Rabbeinu did not mention the name of Miriam because she was present at the time of the prayer. 

I believe that is specifically in the presence of a sick person, no?

Re: HARRYS SON 29 Jun 2022 19:46 #382625

  • Lchaim Tovim
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I just read this...I don't know how you guys were able to bear the suspense.

I'm not sure how I came across this, but apparently this is what Hashem wanted me to see right now.

Was a sequel ever written? 
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