According to what I remember from the Rebbe's letters if I remember correctly, Hesech Hadaas is to think about something positive. Regarding an urge, GYE adds to that that it should be something enjoyable that requires your full attention. Regarding women in the streets the F2F program gives three options of Hesech Hadaas:

1. The one second rule. This prevents an accidental glance from turning into a full-blown sexual fantasy. As soon as you notice an attractive person count to one and look away, or slightly upwards or downwards and don’t look back at them. This way you can avoid turning that person into an object of your sexual desire.

2. An alternative way of doing this it that when someone catches your eye, you say to yourself that’s an attractive woman and you look away. Just acknowledging that fact may be enough to give you the headspace to then turn away and not allow it to become a sexual fantasy.

3. Another option is to disengage from whatever you were seeing and instead reengage with whatever you were doing before. For example, if you are out shopping, you can focus your full attention on finding your next item on your shopping list, or if you are on the subway, you can redirect your attention and become absorbed in something else like reading a book or listening to a shiur or podcast.
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It would be good if we come up with more ideas from the Rebbe and see how they integrate with the education on GYE, or with the 12 steps for those who are familiar with the 12 steps.

hishtadlus123 wrote on 01 Apr 2025 23:38:

That's amazing!
Which tools are you using to help you in your journey?

Tzaddik, you are in the right place. Of course no one knows your situation but have you tried filters? reaching out to people here? Therapy? SA? there are many different stages to each persons struggle and each of them have a cure no matter how severe your stage is... how about opening up to someone here or to a therapist... 
Hatzlacha - Hashem is getting so much nachas from His precious son reaching out.

Welcome to the warmest family in the world!

Why don't you tell us a bit more about your situation?
There may be people or tools that can be helpful, but I don't think anyone can really suggest anything without a bit more information.

Lookin' forward to hearin' more from you!

Anyway, we completely derailed this thread, apologies to those who started it.



Lets try get it back on track....

Day 8 and BH going strong.
I am just in such a happier and more positive place right now. I know it is very early in the process, but it is so freeing and joyful to be clean. I know there will be much tougher times in the future and of course I am trying to prepare for hard times during the good times like Yosef in Mitzrayim But I am in such a happier place; I am davening and learning so well, having a good bein hazmanim so far. Guys if you ever want some chizuk to stay clean just know that it is the most liberating and joyous existence. You can look up at the sky or at the newly blossoming trees and say thank you Hashem for creating such a beautiful world. 

livingagain wrote on 01 Apr 2025 22:11:

Absolutely! If you see the beginning of the discussion, the mashmous was that going to big/good yeshivah in ey helps. Thats what I was coming to argue. Also, the smaller yeshiva + kesher can happen in yeshivos outside ey too, no?

Tachlis, if you need help, get it (and you are if you're here...).
Please, please dont rely on being meshaneh mokom to be meshaneh mazel! (from someone that went through it.)

Sorry to hear you are feeling overwhelmed!

if I may ask, What strategies have you employed thus far? Filter? Webchaver? Therapy? Would be happy to provide some feedback if you can share more about that strategies you’ve tried that haven’t worked.
Hatzlacha in your recovery!

1 more question I had.

The Rebbe many times mentions that the eitzah is hesech hadaas completely, now I have not found this to work well for me which could be because I wasn't actually being mesiach daas or because I'm an addict...

If anyone has Any input on the matter would be greatly appreciated 

Hey there! Welcome! There are many people here who have felt the same, and have still freed themselves from this trap. Why don't you share a little more with us about your situation, and why you feel it's unique.

yitzchokm wrote on 01 Apr 2025 23:00:

I'll have a look and perhaps share some of what I find

Also there is another app for the rebbes letters not in english

Thanks to all the responses there were many good insights and a lot to think about.


As for where my personal journey will go now I'm not sure, I bh feel a bit more optimistic at the moment while trying to remember not to become complacent.

I guess my main objective in this thread may not be brought to fruition for various reasons but I think it can still be used to post different inspiration from chassidus.

I don't use a smartphone but I was told by a shliach that the Rebbe Responsa app would give you a list of everything related to Inyonei Kedusha. I am not familiar with the app but I don't think it has all of the Igros Kodesh. I am not a Lubavitcher.

I'm at a point where I feel I'm reaching a dead end. I've tried to stop many times, but with no success. I'm on the internet pretty much all day, and it's affecting me tremendously. It just keeps getting worse with each passing day. I'm at a dead end. I've been here for a little while, but I haven't found anyone even close to my story. I feel like I'm the only one in the world struggling on such a large scale. I don't know what to do anymore; I just try to embrace the minutes or hours when I'm not online. I feel trapped. This fight is so much bigger than me that I feel like giving up. I don't know what to do anymore; it has literally taken over my life during the hours that I'm not asleep.

Anyone who has ever been in this situation and could help, please come forward.

radiantunicorn71 wrote on 01 Apr 2025 22:09:

You are correct, the YH is everywhere. The Ruchniyus in EY makes it easier.