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Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

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Recent Posts

Re: AGAIN!?!? 19 Mar 2019 16:46 #339813

  • Yerushalmi
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I really like to read. When I need something to distract myself, I can read something, and that usually grabs my interest. When I had an exercise program, that worked too. I used to do the 11 minute workout. No equipment or gym membership required! 
Don't forget to daven hard, asking Hashem to give you the strength that you need to do the right thing.
Some people find other things that help: saying a perek of tehilim, listening to a shiur, changing location, doing some game or puzzle that needs some concentration. 
When I first started fighting, I would count how many  hours I was clean. Eventually, I moved up to counting days. Start slowly!

Re: AGAIN!?!? 19 Mar 2019 15:47 #339812

  • 360gye
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You can always decide to get a workout regiment...
For me, i like jewish history and biographies
But a hobby is usually something which speaks to a person, something they have an interest in. What are your interests?
Some people like studying academia, some like art, poems, etc.

Re: AGAIN!?!? 19 Mar 2019 14:42 #339809

  • johnfrumgye
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@ColinColin @360gye @Yerushalmi. Thank you so much for your support. It really means a lot. I'm trying to practice what you all say. Im trying to change my approach to thinking it is one day/moment/event at a time without looking far ahead and without seeing the past clean days as being thrown into the trash. Yesterday has been an okay day. There was nothing much to do or to look forward to. Felt a little down and depressed but thankfully i didn't do what i normally would've done to waist time. I need to find some sort of hobby or activity. What has worked for you to occupy your time to not slip?

Re: Hour 1 19 Mar 2019 03:09 #339803

  • bonobo
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Day 2 complete. Really good day

Re: A struggling bochur 19 Mar 2019 00:38 #339802

  • doingtshuva
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Markz wrote on 19 Mar 2019 00:04:
True 

but

Actually we truly help others by helping ourselves

You mean we help (save) the people around us? Wife kids and etc'?
Oh are you right!
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


Gye program + Handbook  -  Phone conferences  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum
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Re: A struggling bochur 19 Mar 2019 00:04 #339800

  • Markz
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True 

but

Actually we truly help others by helping ourselves
My Story---------Dov Quotes


What works for me:
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The following user(s) said Thank You: Hakolhevel

Re: A struggling bochur 19 Mar 2019 00:01 #339799

  • doingtshuva
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Your doing great.
Actually we help ourselves by helping others.
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


Gye program + Handbook  -  Phone conferences  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum

Re: Neil 18 Mar 2019 23:12 #339797

  • Neil
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Stressed. 

Day 42
  • Issac
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Day 31
Thank you Hashem.
I made it past 30 days.
I shared a bit with my wife and it helped a lot.
I had a tough nisayon based on a halachic shailah.
thankfully I was able to overcome it I made sure to relax and play a game so that helped. Thanx everyone for their input.

Let my mistakes empower me to succeed instead of pulling me down.

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  • mikestrucking
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Markz wrote on 18 Mar 2019 14:16:
Mr Bean
Mr Black Jelly Bean
Was upset I did not quote him

If I upset someone, I’d really like to send him an expedited Mishloach Manot, but I need an actual address, not this virtual baloney

I was wondering why you posted the same picture so many times in one thread. It seems like people just don't get it til you 'splain it.
Formerly mikestruggling I just bought a truck. l hang out in the trailer and G-d drives. 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: A struggling bochur 18 Mar 2019 19:30 #339792

Now I'm butting out and focusing on "shnitzel" and as my Rav said "if you can't help him, at least help yourself"
Day 16!
Feel free to pm me
"The 30 sec enjoyment ain't worth the 30 day depression which comes right after it!"

ולכן אל יפול לב אדם וכו' גם אם יהיה כן   כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)
The following user(s) said Thank You: Hakolhevel

Re: A struggling bochur 18 Mar 2019 19:29 #339791

Ok, told the parents info of my therapist and told them some info what I know in general about pornography.. turns out this kid was exposed at age 8!! By some cruel and mean "friend", i told them about this site...


Yikes!! They might see my forum...
Feel free to pm me
"The 30 sec enjoyment ain't worth the 30 day depression which comes right after it!"

ולכן אל יפול לב אדם וכו' גם אם יהיה כן   כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: AGAIN!?!? 18 Mar 2019 18:51 #339788

  • Yerushalmi
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Hello John,

Firstly, you did not waste those days!! You fought the yetzer, AND WON for 29 days running! Almost twice your previous high!!! During those days, you fought many battles. You emerged victorious! Those victories are yours for eternity! They will never be taken away from you! They are extremely precious! Enjoy them! Cherish them! Hold onto them! When you are feeling down, look back at those times, and reassure yourself THAT YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
Secondly, what worked for me was focusing on a few days at a time. I said that I would stay clean for 5 days, then I added another 5, then another 10, and so on. There were hard days and there were easy days. What made the battle easier was getting a foolproof filter on my computer. Also, committing to not touching myself "down there" with intent to pleasure. Once I started, it was very hard to stop. It was easier to not touch at all. I first undertook this for 24 hours. Then for another 24 hours, then through the weekend. I was slowly able to build up my endurance this way.

When I first found the 90 day count, I was already 15 days clean. I lasted 3 more days, for a total of 18, and then fell. I started again, lasted another 18 days, and then fell again. The 3rd time, I made it to 194, and then fell. This time, the fall was for a full week. I started again, and am currently at just over 200 days clean. You fell. Now you can choose to stay down and let the yetzer kick you when you are down, or, you can get up fighting!
The following user(s) said Thank You: Gevura Shebyesod, mggsbms, johnfrumgye

Re: AGAIN!?!? 18 Mar 2019 17:57 #339787

  • 360gye
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Hi Johnfrum,
I can understand it's frustrating, and i would love to talk with you and try to help you. It does take time and all that mattre is that you're growing, doesnt matter how quick or slow.
Please email so we can talk more 360gye@gmail.com
The following user(s) said Thank You: johnfrumgye

Re: AGAIN!?!? 18 Mar 2019 17:36 #339786

  • ColinColin
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johnfrumgye

No point focussing on "90 days seems so far away."

That approach will never ever work. 

Because it is fooling yourself into thinking that just because you make 90 days, you will be OK for the rest of your life.

I tried it, and it did not work for me.

The correct approach is to want to be clean, and celebrate every day that you are clean.

Approach every day as a self contained period of time.
Plan out what you will do, activities that will not involve porn etc.
The following user(s) said Thank You: mggsbms, johnfrumgye
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