The new thread http://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/382646-My-Daily-Inspiration

From Harvey A. 

Stinkin' thinkin'. It's out minds that got us into this mess, why do we think our minds can get us out of the mess. Our minds are the problem!

My thoughts:
Personally I think this applies to addicts and non addicts alike (whatever the hell that means). I think most of us strugglers here on GYE are smart in other areas of our life, so why when it comes here we are so dumb???

Well our mind in this area is obviously full of cobwebs.

For thoe who want a religous source. Any Chavush Matie Es Atzmo.

G-nite everyone.

Check out my main thread on page 23 for the main reason for this thread.

If you like, disagree or dont care at all what I have to say, it's all good. This thread is to help me, and if along the way, I help fellow travelers, Mah Tov!

Shortly after the above post I reach 90 days, and I promptly fell. since then I've been falling every 7-10 days. So where does that leave me?

I've decided I really want to be clean, I really like that life, I know there's a lot I'm going to have to do to obtain that, but I will start with the following:

I need (currently) to spend every day significant time on recovery. When I say every day, I mean every day. Would I do better going to some sort of meeting? Probably . But fir now I will go with this.

I will spend 30 minutes to an hour a day on recovery. Every day (aside from shabbos, and shabbos i never fall anyway, as I only fall with porn) Every day I will either be
1. Working a program (ideal)
2. Listening to recovery recordings3. Reading recovery books.

Currently I'm listening to the daily reprieve podcast (it's SA) and reading man interuppted (by Phillip zimbardo)

However we human beings can easily mistake consumption for progress. As in, well if I'm listening to a podcast, I'm probably getting bettr right? Not necessarily. So to bring it home, ideally I will talk to chaverim, but regardless to make sure I'm getting something out of the "consumption" I will be making anothr thread where I will BE"H post every day something I learned.

How long will this last? Who cares I just need to know that today this is what I'm going to do.

Oh, and I had another clean day boruch hashem.

Kavey wrote on 29 Jun 2022 16:25:

If that's the issue then I should've only gotten to day 9 tonight. It does seem to be going by the halachic day, but my issue is that it's counting last Monday as clean even though I fell that morning.


I can give excuses from today to tomorrow... And for the rest of my life... בקיצור, it doesn't matter why. I just need to do it.

Writing the truth here is easy. Actually doing it is another thing.

Im at a stressful time in my life. Im looking into new yeshiva’s, hopefully somewhere with a smaller, warmer environment  and in short it’s been a pretty stressful week. (Not as stressful as I expected, but stressful nonetheless…). I’ve spent a good amount of time in New York and the way that people dress there is way worse than where I’m currently residing. If i was my old self, i most definitely would have fallen. But i feel like a new person right now. I’ve been pretty on top of my game with not staring on the street (taking off my glasses, looking down, etc.) and i didn’t feel like i was going to fall. This is a good feeling to have after so many ups and downs over the last few months. Anyway, three days left until i hit 90!!

Face the challenge

300 cumulative clean days today, thank you Hashem. Working on kedusha will inevitably bring highs and lows, the joy of success and the pain of momentary failure. But the process is undoubtedly, 100% worth it.

I don't find that I expect the pleasure to be more then it is. The actual pleasure is enough for me...
Minimizing the temptation is not a strategy that works for me.

regular kollel guy wrote on 29 Jun 2022 03:35:

This self stigma approach, canceling a "zeman" because of a fall, even one fall, has more to do about image, self image, then torah or kedusha, think about it, it can be very destructive. We need to stop putting our image front and center, and do what's right at the moment. You're doing great keep it up, and don't look back.

will do IYH

Did Bego ever say hes closing the book on trying? He just doesent have the urge to feel now like life ended... and all the scary things will now happen in this world and the other one... 

That's the way I read his posts. And I relate to that.

@bisiyata dishmaya You got it! And yes, I would definitely appreciate your tefillos for me.

DavidT wrote on 28 Jun 2022 19:47:

I believe that is specifically in the presence of a sick person, no?

I just read this...I don't know how you guys were able to bear the suspense.

I'm not sure how I came across this, but apparently this is what Hashem wanted me to see right now.

Was a sequel ever written?