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Re: i'm finally posting 02 Jun 2023 15:11 #396732

  • dovberyl
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anyone interested in a shtikel partner for F2F? I feel it is hard to do alone

Re: i'm finally posting 02 Jun 2023 15:04 #396731

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One
Day
At
A
Time
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


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  • doingtshuva
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You are a real fighter and you have an amazing supportive wife
Don't take it for granted

Have a great shabbes
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.

אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: אֵבֶר קָטָן יֵשׁ לוֹ לָאָדָם, מַרְעִיבוֹ — שָׂבֵעַ, מַשְׂבִּיעוֹ — רָעֵב

Gye program + Handbook  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum

Re: i'm finally posting 02 Jun 2023 14:12 #396728

  • monseyyid41
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YESSS!! Keep going! We're right here along with you. 
But I'm just curious: What is ODAAT?
My thread: Forum (guardyoureyes.com)
We are not all in the same boat, but we are all in the same lake. And when one boat is in trouble, the other boats in the lake can quickly come to his aid. Feel free to reach out to me to give some chizuk or to receive some. monseyyid41@gmail.com
  • Heeling
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I have Tecloq, YouTube is completely blocked and wont get unlocked even if requested.....(my wife did that without asking me....i guess she's right)
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chaimoigen wrote on 02 Jun 2023 00:57:
Thank you!.
One caveat. To echo what Markz said, maybe a little more bluntly, reading wise sayings and good advice is very nice. It can help remind us of what we need to know, carry it around with us and review these critically important lessons.
But if you have not met him yet - reading this guide won't compare to meeting and talking with him and experiencing his genuine care and understanding, his warmth and compassion, his wisdom and experience and (sometimes blunt) invaluable guidance. [Same probably goes for other special mentors I haven't yet had the zchus to meet.]

Hey! Don't you guys on GYE know that stuff downloaded to your computer isn't a replacement for a healthy, real relationship?!   

Thank you for your comments.  Now we know :-) 
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My dear friend, please forgive me, a little bluntness here. I have to ask you - are there specific videos on You Tube that you actually need? I mean need. [Not like "I need a cappuccino "]
For me, YouTube is a perfectly designed slippery slope, custom made for me by the S"M. There many productive videos, and I am INSATIABLY curious. There are millions of levels of grey, almost impossible to realize the subtle negative influence of something seemingly innocuous, and then there's the next one, only slightly more negative....  I try to avoid it like a infectious disease. Because for me it is.
Need is a strong word.  Inconvenience is a smaller price to pay than awful regret.
White lists usually work if there's a real need, but sometimes they don't.

Sorry - i was crying when I read your post the other night, so maybe I can write this. Please tell me if you think I stepped over the line.
Last Edit: 02 Jun 2023 12:46 by chaimoigen.
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Re: Some Stuff 02 Jun 2023 12:35 #396724

  • chaimoigen
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The more I focus on constantly fighting the yetzer hara on the street, the more it backfires and the more tempting it becomes to look.Instead I found that getting my mind occupied with other positive thoughts makes it much easier to keep my eyes focused.
The greater the momentum, the greater the repulsive force becomes.
(My thoughts)

A sefer that I get a lot of help from אשא עיני, brings this point from many Gedolim. How about before you go into the street its important to review motivations for Shemiras Enayim, but once there it can be counter-productive to focus on what you're not looking at. Gotta be proactively and productively focused on something else positive. For me I try to think in learning, or about something specific that I need to think through to solve, or I make productive phone calls the entire time. I saw on this site in  Vekam's post that is always wearing headphones on train, plane etc - that's probably a great idea. 
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true_self wrote on 02 Jun 2023 12:25:
Small update & request for advice:
I previously wrote that I've learnt that I need to get some news sites blocked.
Today I'm planning to send an email to my filter company to get them blocked beH.
I also want to ask them to make YouTube more safe (if possible), right I have a whitelist of things that are allowed, however I still have access to some inappropriate videos that are not really under the category of my whitelist, does anyone have experience with this? (I have tecloq)
Thanks In advance.

I use techloq as well. My YouTube is blocked with the option of requesting individual video's and its only granted if it is approved content. 
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Small update & request for advice:
I previously wrote that I've learnt that I need to get some news sites blocked.
Today I'm planning to send an email to my filter company to get them blocked beH.
I also want to ask them to make YouTube more safe (if possible), right I have a whitelist of things that are allowed, however I still have access to some inappropriate videos that are not really under the category of my whitelist, does anyone have experience with this? (I have tecloq)
Thanks In advance.
my thread: From two identities to True self

Struggling with finances? Struggling with shmiras einayim? They might be interconnected, Check out this link for some inspiration
Rabbi Fischel Schachter(וימאן) - Powerful Segulah For Parnassah

Re: Starting therapy 02 Jun 2023 12:12 #396721

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It's amazing how difficult my struggle is during the week, but when shabbos comes it's a real day of rest, since I don't have my devices I don't really have temptations, plus I feel like shabbos we have a neshuma yesaire that helps also we feel more connected to hashem and yiddishkiet, I'm really able to daven good and learn bh. 
Thanks for the wise words, Foolie

Woke up feeling OK and not hating myself, and… dare I say it…? Slightly hopeful for the future 

there is something called the “serenity prayer” in AA. it goes like this 

G-d, grant me the serenity to accept that which I cannot change, change that which I can, and the wisdom to know the difference

i repeat it throughout the day and think about it a lot. 

“serenity to accept that which I cannot change” is one of the most powerful concepts I have ever pondered. 

I don’t HAVE TO change things that bother me. I can let them exist separately from me, and that’s ok!
hi, I’m ILH and I’m an addict in denial


Challenge accepted!

If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 

My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once
Last Edit: 02 Jun 2023 11:45 by iLoveHashem247.
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  • Hashem Help Me
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Hero!!  An accountability partner is very helpful in these situations.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE
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Man, i am jealous! The chizuk that is given on this site is incredible! When i was a bochur i went through Hell all by myself. Noone to hold my hand or listen to me share my pain, confusion, and turmoil. Noone to tell me i was a kosher yid, or to give me any practical advice or chizuk. May Hashem bench the founders of GYE and all those involved with loads of bracha. What they have created here is simply beyond description. Mr. Eccentric, you are one fortunate fellow.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE
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Re: Some Stuff 02 Jun 2023 11:00 #396717

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chaimoigen wrote on 01 Jun 2023 23:02:

willdoit wrote on 01 Jun 2023 18:49:
Thanks for sharing this. I am struggling very much with this too, recently, I get over aroused in the street. I started getting worried, like, am I just getting worse?. But Hearing this from others helps me look at it differently.

A heightened awareness and focus to avoid situations that can cause arousal could create a heightened sensitivity and awareness of what we're NOT looking at. So we notice acutely the things that are there to avoid. 
Also, for me, there's the fact that getting better means that I notice how even quick looks in the street have a "pull" and power. Compared  to porn it could seem almost innocuous. But it's not - it starts the ball rolling downhill.... Being in a mode to avoid that,  makes me more sensitive. It can have a negative effect because things end up affecting us more. But I know it means I am getting better not worse. You are, too. We are getting better together!     

Thanks Chaim, what a true and strong point! I love it, and I personally find it to be soooo true with myself.

The more I focus on constantly fighting the yetzer hara on the street, the more it backfires and the more tempting it becomes to look.
Instead I found that getting my mind occupied with other positive thoughts makes it much easier to keep my eyes focused.
The greater the momentum, the greater the repulsive force becomes.
(My thoughts)
my thread: From two identities to True self

Struggling with finances? Struggling with shmiras einayim? They might be interconnected, Check out this link for some inspiration
Rabbi Fischel Schachter(וימאן) - Powerful Segulah For Parnassah
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