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Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

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After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest
Recent Posts
  • Ely
  • Current streak: 90 days
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Hi Everyone

I made it to 90 days clean!
Anyone can do it
The problem is continuing
The drive to get to 90 is powerful but then there's a challenge to keep going

good luck everyone!
The following user(s) said Thank You: Aaronhopeful@gye.com
Oysh! It's so hard to get back on track after falling. Unfortunately I haven't been good at all lately

 Love you all your friend Yankel

Here is to better days 
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
BS”D
As a Baal Teshuva in the process, my yetzer hara was telling me all these years not to go to GYE and ask for help when I’m in a nisayon and I’ll be fine and won’t fall, now I said “enough”. I took upon myself to be on GYE forum daily especially when in a nisayon. I also took upon myself to get up early in the morning  and daven Shacharit (which was the hardest thing for me), and learn Torah ( starting with the daily Aliya of the parasha, then Halachot (hilchot Shabbat and then Shulchan Aruch and Mishneh Torah), then Gemara (with chazara), then Mussar and shiuri Torah. I’m an addict for almost 5-4 years. And I realized that in the beginning of when I learned about this sin, I was doing Teshuva and was mamash doing all the mitzvot and had yirah Shamayim. But as I kept falling until now, I realized that my yirah shamayim is lowered drastically, now when I hear a scary shiur I don’t get scared, when I learn Torah I don’t understand it easily as I used to. I’m afraid I’ve got the punishment that Rambam says it’s the worst punishment one can get, of not doing teshuva. I’ll start from today to be on GYE daily  and hopefully I’ll break free and do Teshuva shlema, or at least finish the first level of Teshuva which is stopping the sin. It’s very hard for me to write what I wrote, my heart is despairing but I still have the hope of breaking free. I’ll keep updating you about my journey here and ask for help when I’m under a nisayon. May it be HaShem’s will, that with your merit I’ll succeed.
BS”D
As a Baal Teshuva in the process, my yetzer hara was telling me all these years not to go to GYE and ask for help when I’m in a nisayon and I’ll be fine and won’t fall, now I said “enough”. I took upon myself to be on GYE forum daily especially when in a nisayon. I also took upon myself to get up early in the morning  and daven Shacharit (which was the hardest thing for me), and learn Torah ( starting with the daily Aliya of the parasha, then Halachot (hilchot Shabbat and then Shulchan Aruch and Mishneh Torah), then Gemara (with chazara), then Mussar and shiuri Torah. I’m an addict for almost 5-4 years. And I realized that in the beginning of when I learned about this sin, I was doing Teshuva and was mamash doing all the mitzvot and had yirah Shamayim. But as I kept falling until now, I realized that my yirah shamayim is lowered drastically, now when I hear a scary shiur I don’t get scared, when I learn Torah I don’t understand it easily as I used to. I’m afraid I’ve got the punishment that Rambam says it’s the worst punishment one can get, of not doing teshuva. I’ll start from today to be on GYE daily  and hopefully I’ll break free and do Teshuva shlema, or at least finish the first level of Teshuva which is stopping the sin. It’s very hard for me to write what I wrote, my heart is despairing but I still have the hope of breaking free. I’ll keep updating you about my journey here and ask for help when I’m under a nisayon. May it be HaShem’s will, that with your merit I’ll succeed. 

Re: cant find the will 23 Jan 2019 18:51 #338611

  • 360gye
  • Current streak: 760 days
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Welcome,
GYE is full of different tools to help you stay clean, along with all the great people here.
I'd be happy to help you if you want. my email is 360gye@gmail.com

cant find the will 23 Jan 2019 17:16 #338608

hi im 21 have been masterbating for years i realy want to stop and get rid of all this stuff ive tried many things but cant get going and sometimes that i most want to stop i cant find the will in me at all to refrain can anyone be hashems shliach to help me

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 23 Jan 2019 13:38 #338607

  • stillgoing
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  • "LIFE IS ONLY HARD FOR THE FIRST 120 YEARS!"
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BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: HELP! 23 Jan 2019 04:53 #338606

  • Emunah2618
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I started my business about 3 years ago and that's when the stress really kicked in. I hadn't smoked in a year and once I started my business I started smoking again. Right after followed pornagraphy but no masterbation. Then I stopped for a while and started again when the stress level went up high again till I couldn't hold anymore and acted out.

What workED for me 23 Jan 2019 04:26 #338605

  • Trey60
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So I'm currently 162 days of not being motzei zera l'vatala but only 1 day of not masturbating, b/c I just blocked sperm from coming out. My top record of not masturbating is 118 days. What works a lot for me is listening to jewish music, but apparently it's not bullet proof. Like sometimes u just don't want to listen to music, or what if it's Shabbos (I don't need porn to masturbate)? Idk I'm looking fwd to reading what works for other ppl, so i can get more tools for myself. I plan on getting past 90 this time. I'm gonna make TaPHSiC soon.
The following user(s) said Thank You: EscapeArtist
  • Realestatemogul
  • Current streak: 163 days
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#163

Thank you Hashem!

It's hard to be clean, just saying.

Sometimes I just want to give in.

But B''h I am way more interested in being clean, functioning and living better, and being closer to Hashem.

The following user(s) said Thank You: Markz, lionking
  • EscapeArtist
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EscapeArtist wrote on 21 Jan 2019 16:54:

lionking wrote:
I would suggest not to take off the glasses for the wife. Hard to explain to her that she is sometimes a trigger.


Thanks for the laugh Simba.

For some strange reason, (-& not bec. she aint pretty) it's easiest to "surrender" & all that only when it comes to the wife... I wish I knew how to tap in to all that spirituality when faced with all the other half-decent looking members of the opposite gender on this planet...

yeah, I know מים גנובים ימתקו... but I thought I was kinda gettiing this under control till I headed back to work this morning...

ain't no rest for the weary I suppose

I think they call this "cross-talk" in SA....
  • EscapeArtist
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EscapeArtist wrote on 21 Jan 2019 02:37:
Had an incident over Shabbos, my wife woke me up in middle of the night & (unintentionally) got me very aroused. I was about to pursue my dreams w/ her; & she's like "btw I just started staining..." ouch.
I was expecting to feel tremendous feelings of resentment towards her (as if it's her fault) & G-d, as has always been my immediate reaction, to be followed most likely with some sort of acting out as a form of "revenge". (#crazyaddictmindatwork).
But it didn't come. Instead my brain just reverted to the pattern I've been attempting to implement since joining SA... OK G-d, take care of this for me, I don't need s-x. I was shocked, to say the least. And excited. So excited that I couldn't fall back asleep for about another hour & a half...
I still don't know if I'm doing this "surrender" thing properly, but it's still pretty cool. I was expecting to be miserable when having to surrender myself to G-d, but instead I felt ecstatic & liberated that night.

Still not sure how to fit in השתדלות with all this "surrender" business... Am I allowed to take off my glasses when confronted with possible triggers, or is that breaking the rules, & believing that I can control myself? There probably are no real answers to this סוגיא...

Thank you everyone for your חיזוק! It is such a tremendous help, you should all be זוכה to so much הצלחה!  

Re: shiduchim 23 Jan 2019 02:23 #338601

  • EscapeArtist
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Son wrote on 14 Jan 2019 14:38:
 honestly i doubt that she would understand and she would prob want to discus it with her parents etc


If you plan on dating a typical Bais Yaakov girl, & you plan on telling her this, just do it before pulling outta the driveway on date #1, & save yourself a trip to the marriott...
Even married women w/ kids have serious contemplations of walking out,
קל וחומר a date. this is total "freak out" material for these girls.

if it's a serious relationship issue, & not just a once-in-a-while יצר הרע (which is normal - not "baggage" IMHO), then speak to a Rav (competent in this field) if you're ready to date at all, or should work on recovery first. I agree it's unfair to bring a serious issue into the marriage w/o telling, you gotta speak to a professional how to pull it off & still make it to the wedding...

You should have LOTS of הצלחה, in this battle & in שידוכים!
The following user(s) said Thank You: ColinColin

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 23 Jan 2019 02:20 #338600

  • Gevura Shebyesod
  • Current streak: 1999 days
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Yankellllllll!!!!!!!

Stick around for a bit this time...
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends
The following user(s) said Thank You: lionking

Re: shiduchim 23 Jan 2019 00:22 #338599

  • ChizukSC
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Rabbi Dr. Twerski opinion on the matter is to tell. Truth and openness are the bedrock of all relationships, and secrets destroy relationships. How to present it and when to tell is a different matter. Good luck.
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