Hey! Here you are! I got scared when I saw you closed your first thread.
First of all, as a bochur fighting the good 'ol fight like you do, it is nothing short of incredible. There is so much hopelessness sometimes and to still be getting back up is a powerful lesson in true determination.
Now, the other part. You wrote on your last thread that you've witnessed others coming here and succeeding but you feel like you are trying to catch your tail.
Here's the cold truth that you already know. Let's review. It's not GYE or the forum that changes people. Neither is it short lived occasional inspiration. It is only you. You fighting against the oncoming waves. You keeping your head above the water in the face of a deluge. It's you, battle worn, scarred, limping, bleeding - yet not being intimidated in the slightest. Taking those deep breaths and pushing onwards. Determinedly dragging yourself to the light, to your goal, to the place you cherish with a fierce and fiery passion.
It's only you, fighting for freedom. To tear yourself out of the shackles of lust, and the shadows of lost control.
People came, they may have gained from GYE how to properly escape, but all the thrust, determination and energy was completely homegrown. No amount of reading or sharing can manufacture a long term change.
You have it in you my friend, everyone can see that. Dig deep and harness that fight to see the light of truth and happiness. Fight until you reach the goal you know is yours for the taking.
It is you and you only, but we are here to hold your hand all the way through it.
Grant