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TOPIC: Dirty Jokes - See 1st Post 37312 Views

Re: Dirty Jokes - see first post 19 Apr 2016 21:35 #285315

Markz
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cordnoy wrote:

doingtshuva wrote:

markz wrote:

70 = Wise Man's age

With sobriety plan = Zaken Monstah Trucker
Without a plan = Zaken Mena'eF

Were you ever in an nursing home?
I have been there and saw some elderly people who still get excited over every women passing by.
Nebech, nothing works anymore besides of their eyes and fantasies.

Nothing?

How exactly did you manage to get promoted to moderator with this?

you know why im asking of course

I wanna be one too (guys im just kiddin), and am desperate to know what credentials are necessary, so I can undergo some serious training

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Last Edit: 20 Apr 2016 00:27 by Markz.

Re: Dirty Jokes - see first post 20 Apr 2016 03:33 #285370

inastruggle Current streak: 25 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder the picture is shimshon hagibor. not st. mary.... Posts: 1263 Karma: 35	I don't know what you need but you definitely have to have at least 91 clean days on the chart.

Re: Dirty Jokes - see first post 20 Apr 2016 04:09 #285383

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8259 Karma: 428	inastruggle wrote: I don't know what you need but you definitely have to have at least 91 clean days on the chart. DIRTY JOKE - I'm not changing my count HANDCUFFS FOR YOU BROTHER Everything I do here on gye including handcuffs is free of charge, aren't I kind OHAAT
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Re: Dirty Jokes - see first post 20 Apr 2016 04:33 #285389

peloni almoni
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looks like mark already named himself moderator at a much earlier point in time.
#AmbitiousMark

Have a corny day ... and if you do have other plans, change 'em!!
peloni_almoni@hotmail.com

None of us has it all together, but together, we have it all.

we always put our sobriety before our ego -
מוטב שאקרא שוטה כל ימי ואל אהיה רשע שעה אחת לפני המקום

לפעולות אדם בדבר שפתיך אני שמרתי אורחות פריץ. תמוך אשורי במעגלותיך בל נמוטו פעמי. תהלים יז
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Re: Dirty Jokes - see first post 20 Apr 2016 04:37 #285391

Aryeh821 Current streak: 591 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 289 Karma: 8	peloni almoni wrote: looks like mark already named himself moderator at a much earlier point in time. #AmbitiousMark Your named is hereby changed to archivealmoni
	Soberity is a journey NOT a destination

Re: Dirty Jokes - see first post 20 Apr 2016 04:39 #285392

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8259 Karma: 428	Until I get kicked out if we can collect enough thank you's to the source of KOM and my favorite post of the year, all on one page here
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Re: Dirty Jokes - see first post 21 Apr 2016 02:13 #285541

Markz
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THE DAY IS SOON TO ARRIVE!!!

YAY!!!

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Last Edit: 01 May 2016 15:05 by Markz.

Re: Dirty Jokes - see first post 21 Apr 2016 03:29 #285552

inastruggle Current streak: 25 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder the picture is shimshon hagibor. not st. mary.... Posts: 1263 Karma: 35	Looking at the color of your name....still blue....current streak.....still 90 days. Guess that explains it.

Re: Dirty Jokes - see first post 21 Apr 2016 05:16 #285575

peloni almoni
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you know, we should ban handcuff pic's from this forum.
some people may find them triggering.
you know who you are.
and this definitely is the right thread to mention it.

Re: Dirty Jokes - - see first post 21 Apr 2016 05:26 #285576

Yesod OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 827 Karma: 79	I get turned on by fish Like most rednecks

Re: Dirty Jokes - see first post 22 Apr 2016 02:35 #285651

Markz
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peloni almoni wrote on 13 Apr 2016 00:44:

markz wrote on 13 Apr 2016 00:00:

I have a special request to our dear Sephardi brothers. Wala I might be one too Habibi, it's time soon for Arbit

Ever since joining gye new customs are taken by each member

Passover is next week, and please please please
Nothing that looks like Porn
!!!!

Don't even lust after it, just get RID of the whole garbage before I get upset

Ok?

PLAGIARISM!!!!!!!!
guardyoureyes.com/forum/23-Just-Having-Fun/261537-FREE-HARDCORE-CORNOGRAPHY?limit=15&start=330#283537

ANOTHER REASON SEFARDIM NEED TO GET A LIFE AND CONVERT TO LITVAK'ism

The Alte Litvaks can't wait for tommorow night

They will be drinking
"Four Kases of Wine"

Maybe that's why they delay selichot till the last minute
It takes time to soberize, no?

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Re: Dirty Jokes - see first post 22 Apr 2016 03:44 #285662

inastruggle Current streak: 25 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder the picture is shimshon hagibor. not st. mary.... Posts: 1263 Karma: 35	peloni almoni wrote on 21 Apr 2016 05:16: you know, we should ban handcuff pic's from this forum. some people may find them triggering. It sure is a slippery slope... First this Then this... Eventually even this Warning: Spoiler! Truth you're probably right. I do know what you mean.
	Last Edit: 22 Apr 2016 03:47 by inastruggle.

Re: Dirty Jokes 03 May 2016 03:48 #286434

Markz
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If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first
tearing it apart to remove the sports section

Buy a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply
over the joy of seeing you

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of
him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it

Buy a dog

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour,
for as long and wherever you want

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't
give a hoot about football, and can sit next to you as you
watch romantic movies

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just
to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't
care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old,
who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of
listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually

Buy a dog.

BUT, on the other hand
If you want someone who will never
come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home,
leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around
all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if
your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...........

Then my friend, Buy a cat!

(You thought I was talking about men didn't you!)

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Last Edit: 03 May 2016 03:53 by Markz. Reason: Woof

Re: Dirty Jokes - see first post 06 May 2016 01:56 #286871

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8259 Karma: 428	I'm on my knees as I write this I wrote on a different post here a few minutes ago that I would beg on my knees and stay so till a kind response would be provided One kindhearted fellow responded "Go get knee pads" We need Mom back - fast!!!!
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Re: Dirty Jokes - see first post 08 May 2016 05:04 #287104

Markz
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addict_11211 wrote on 21 Oct 2014 20:40:

I am feeling a little depressed as I am feeling that this problem is out of control by me, even this morning I walk on the street and I see these women and my heart constricts I am lusting them like crazy, and the weird part is that my wife is a very attractive well dressed woman and probably mother husbands of these women are lusting my wife,

Is lust something that stays with you? Am I doomed to this fight for life?

When I am looking at a woman am I seeing something my Freinds don't see? Am I wired differently ? I have so many questions and I am hurting so much inside,I am still sober but it's a crazy struggle

Any support is appreciated

cordnoy wrote on 21 Oct 2014 20:59:

why do think it's weird at all?
we are lust addicts; period!
some like em hot; some like em cold; some like em young and some like em old.
some like em short; some like em tall; some like em large and some like em small.
some like em fat; some like em thin; some like em covered and some like to see skin.
some like babushkas; some like shpitzels; some enjoy shaitels and others prefer tichels

I am non-discriminatory - I like em all!

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