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I found out my father is looking at shmutz. What can I do?

By the.guard
Answer: We sent your question to Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski (author of over 60 books on psychology), and also discussed it with some of the experts on our team. We feel that you will need to choose between two options, depending on the type of relationship you have with yo...
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Shame Versus Guilt

By the.guard
Shame is an excruciating and agonizing emotion. When a person feels shame, he feels completely worthless and small, almost as if he has no right to exist. Shame is a powerful process that is hardwired into our system, and makes us humans sociable and responsive to the s...
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The Dangers of Misguided Piety

By the.guard
The man in my office was beside himself. He had been seeing me for the past few weeks and made significant strides in recovering from his porn addiction. His path was not easy, but nevertheless rewarding – he had to face brutal realizations about himself and re-order hi...
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"Making Out" with a Non-Jewish Woman

By the.guard
Hi, I am in need of guidance. Thanks to your site baruch Hashem my desire to do biah with goyish women has all but disappeared. Unfortunately this goyish girl has come along to me. She insists no vaginal or anal (which according to halachah are definitely considered bia...
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Who said it's an Addiction?

By the.guard
People with the so called “porn addiction” suffer from a maladaptive relationship to sex in an obsessive & compulsive manner. “Porn addicts” have a number of criteria similar to those used to diagnose drug addiction, making them very similar in their appearance. Here ...
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Sexual Purity for Women

By the.guard
While a woman does not have the same physical stamp of the brit (circumcision) as a Jewish man, she must also carefully strive to live a life of sexual purity in accordance with the guidelines of our Sages. Just as with a man, she has an anatomical counterpart to the spir...
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Do Thoughts Really Count?

By the.guard
Therapists have been known to comfort clients who experience anxiety-provoking and obsessive thoughts, by telling them, “There is no need to feel fear or shame about the thoughts that run through your head. Thoughts do not really mean anything and don’t hurt anyone.” W...
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What's the Issur of looking at pixels of light on the screen?

By the.guard
Someone asked: I have a funny question. If all looking at a picture is just lights coming from the screen, then is it really assur to look at it? Answer: The Rambam in Hilchus Issurei Biyah (21:2) writes that someone who gazes even at the small finger of a woman with the...
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Is Rehab Advisable?

By the.guard
Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski wrote to GYE: Dear Yakov: A wife said that Elya Katz recommends a week of intensive therapy at a rehab. Her husband's addiction is to porn and masturbation. Is this advisable/necessary? Twerski We responded: I believe I know who the Rav ...
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Caught My 15 Year Old Watching Porn

By the.guard
Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski wrote to GYE: I received a call from a mother who found her 15 yr old son watching porn What do you recommend for this age group Twerski We responded: Dear Rabbi Twerski, We have a special page for teens on our website over here. Here a...
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71 Reasons Not To Get Involved With Boys

By the.guard
This was written by a teenage girl who’s “been there done that” and wants to help YOU avoid getting caught up in this mess. 1) Ok, we know it's assur (the source is in the Igros Moshe, and many other places) 2) Most parents don't let, and if they find out they'll ki...
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Three Reasons to Date Someone Who Has Recovered From Sex Addiction

By GYE Corp.
May 24th, 2012 By Janie Lacy, LMHC, NCC, CSAT Candidate, Sex Addiction Did you know that most individuals who have experienced sex addiction and have taken their recovery process very seriously and remain committed to it for life can be some of the healthiest indi...
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Inyan of Kedusha

By GYE Corp.
Question: Hi. Firstly I wanted to say how happy I was to have found the Guard Your Eyes website. What you are doing is really fantastic. I haven't posted my problem on the forums as it relates to how to deal with my 10 year old son and no posts exist with this type of di...
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I transform

By GYE Corp.
"Eden" wrote a poem & asks a question: Once I indulge in my vice, I transform. I become cold & unresponsive Completely dependent on continued escapism. It becomes as necessary as food. I think of nothing but escaping. People, my goals, my ideals, G-d, they all fa...
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Why struggle

By GYE Corp.
Kanesher asks: Now that I'm married I wonder if I erred. Maybe it was all a joke; maybe intimacy is really what matters? Frankly, I've never gone that far – maybe that's where happiness is? Heck, I know I'm not happy now!! I am struggling in my own marriage with my deep a...
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Relations with goyim

By GYE Corp.
Question: Can you please explain to me where there is an issur against having relations with non-idolatrous goyot? I'm not looking for spiritual Zohar or Lurianic reasons; just an actual issur. I'm really becoming tempted with this. Answer: I will not bring you Kabbalist...
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Falling more when sick

By GYE Corp.
Someone wrote in: I was bedridden for a day with the flu and while I was nauseous, weak and miserable, I had one of the hardest days in terms of wanting to sin that I've had in a while. Everything was a trigger!!! What’s going on with me? GYE Answers: This is very common...
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Join an SA group

By GYE Corp.
Someone wrote: How do I reveal to my wife what I’m going through and get her to agree to let me join the SA groups? Dov Answers: There are only three ways I know of to "get your wife to allow it", my sweet friend: One is by getting caught and losing a job or two over it...
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