Q&A

By obormottel

My dear Giving Up , Chazal also say about the churban of the second Beis Hamikdash that Hashem was willing to forgive the murder, adultery and even avodah zara, but he couldn't forgive the bitul Torah. And Chazal say that if someone is walking outside and learning, and h...

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Spouse of an Addict: A Balancing Act

By obormottel

Dear Balancing, The balance between controlling and stepping back is a tough one for the spouse of an addict. You may want to discuss this more in depth with our spouse experts (see this page). You could perhaps simply ask your husband straight out if he feels eBay is...

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Where do I begin?

By obormottel

After the link in a recent e-mail where we wrote: THE TOSHER REBBE, ZTZ"L May we all learn from him, even a tiny bit, what it means to live completely for Hashem. Someone asked: "How exactly am I supposed to emulate the Toscher Rebbe, even just a litt...

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It's Never Enough

By the.guard

Visitor 53991565 11:04 PM I've been clean 17 days But I'm a bit stuck. Visitor 53991565 11:05 PM I am not at all attracted to my wife. Honest. Visitor 53991565 11:06 PM She's gained weight. A lot. What am I to do? Everyone else's wife - yes, this is the addict talking - s...

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Symptoms of Sexual Addiction

By obormottel

Sexual addiction or hypersexuality is defined as a dysfunctional preoccupation with sexual fantasy, often in combination with the obsessive pursuit of casual or non-intimate sex; pornography; compulsive masturbation; romantic intensity and objectified partner sex for a pe...

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Is Masturbation Bad for You?

By obormottel

Masturbation is a funny word. It might make you giggle thinking about the first time you got caught by your parents or caught your little brother in the act. It can be a great way to release tension, or a way to stay satisfied when you can’t be with a partner. For most of...

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What are My Choices?

By the.guard

Being in a relationship with a sex addict does bring up the question of do I stay or leave? These questions are legitimate. In this exercise, I want to expose you to some options you may or may not have thought of before. 1. Stay and stay sick - This option is taken by ...

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The Opposite of Addiction

By obormottel

After watching this TED Talk (above), Dov and Guard had the following dialogue: Dov: "The SA White Book calls Sexaholism a disease of Misconnection, and describes the solution as making the right connection... Consider how condemning it is to those who see GYE's offer of ...

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Looking at the Sun

By obormottel

Question: How can I go in the streets in Brooklyn or in Manhattan when the women are dressed the way they are? What does Hashem want from us!? We are not malochim?? Answer: This is a very good question. Let me try and answer with a parable. Imagine you suddenly develope...

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Letting go of Shame. Helpful or Damaging?

By obormottel

Q: I have a question. I feel like people who come with their problem to GYE thinking and feeling like they are doing the worst thing in the world, and they see the stories of a lot of people who have gone through the same or worse things, they then feel like their problem...

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Letter from Rabbi Wolff to GYE

By obormottel

Dear Chevra HeKedoshim VeHaM'Taharim, I appreciate all of the positive feedback from our call on Thursday night and I am inspired by the yearning for kedusha that is out there. I feel that perhaps a few concluding comments would be helpful in summarizing our call and addr...

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Shekker HaChein

By obormottel

Question to the Rav: I struggle with lust for many years. I have been going out with a girl for a while now and I am deeply attracted to her personality. I enjoy our time together, our conversations of deep meaning. But I have little physical attraction to her. I am not s...

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How can I rejoice with receiving the Torah?

By obormottel

Question: It's coming now kabalas hatorah, and I need a paradigm shift in saying "naseh venishma". I am being bothered by something that keeps coming to mind every so often, especially when learning about kedusha/aroyis or saying nase venishma to the whole Torah. Please d...

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Live Meetings and Daas Torah

By the.guard

1. It is true that live 12-Step meetings are not for everyone, but someone who has tried many things and has not succeeded until now, should be encouraged to join a live 12-Step group. If you tell him that he needs to ask a shailah, then he will likely just not go. He w...

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Not Shaving During Sefirah

By the.guard

Question: Pesach is coming up. This means that I will not be able to shave until lag baomer. I have never done this before as I have always been worried about looking weird. Can you give me an idea of how to have an attitude that I will actually keep the omer properly? I ...

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Can a female sex addict marry a cohen?

By obormottel

Dear R' Morgenstern, A single woman who was a sex addict slept with non-Jews when she was in active addiction. Today she is in 12-Step groups and in recovery. She is clean for a long time. She was recently spoken a shidduch with a Kohen and she is looking for a heter b...

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Why do I need to change my nature?

By obormottel

Some people wonder why Hashem would give us a nature to lust, and yet ask us to change our very nature and reign it in. "How does Hashem expect me not to go after the nature that He Himself gave me?"... It's interesting to note that it is brought down in Chazal and i...

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Testosterone Injections and Masturbation

By the.guard

Question to the Rav: I am on testosterone injections due to low testosterone and it affected me very strongly. Before the shots I had an ongoing depression, afterwards it went away. While I was functionally married, my wife was the sexual outlet that I needed not to go cr...

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