The Library

We have been in touch with someone who has succeeded already for close to one hundred days, to stay clean from viewing improper pictures and from masturbation. He is a true hero and real spiritual soldier. Recently, he decided to try and guard his eyes and mind as well, b...

Q. I stopped looking at forbidden pictures a while ago. But they are still in my memory. Even if I do teshuva my aveiros can never be erased completely. The eraser marks will still be there. The images are implanted in my memory and will never go away. I'm sick over ...

Someone wrote us recently a list of questions on Shemirat Habris and we tried to answer as best we could. Perhaps we can all learn something from this exchange.... 1) How do you know that you have rectified the brit if you have done Teshuvah after wasting seed? Teshuvah i...

Dear GaurdYourEyes, I will give you a challenge. I look at porn sometimes but I am B'H not addicted. I have abstained for months at a time but I keep coming back to it. The reason I can't stop altogether is because I believe it is halachically permitted to look at porn ...

People often ask us how to avoid sexual thoughts and fantasies from plaguing them. Normally we refer them to this page of our FAQ section, but today I want to discuss another important facet as well. There is a common theme throughout Chassidic literature, that the more a...

Someone asked us recently the following question. "How does one know that Hashem has accepted his Teshuva, especially for sexual sins?" Here are three different answers, all of which are true. 1) Chaza"l say that true Teshuvah is acheived "Ki'sheme'id alav yode'ah talumo...

Question: Did anyone out there ever have a serious problem with using the phone to listen to inappropriate things, or even worse- to have sexual conversation on the phone? Anyone ever spend money on this? What could one do about this? Unlike the internet, there are no fil...

Question: It feels like sometimes the effort to to avoid tumah, pritzus, etc.. itself seems to cause one to think about the very thing that they are trying to avoid. Am I wrong? Maybe just putting forth a little less effort will enable some people to have more success (p...

Someone asked us this question: The 12-Steps say that we need to surrender to Hashem and he will fight for us. But weren't there Tzadikim who wanted to earn their spiritual levels on their own?   Answer: Tzadikim who wanted to do it alone doesn't mean they didn't need H...

Q. B"H I'm doing well. But I'm still easily triggered and sometimes can't get certain thoughts or images out of my mind. I console myself by saying, 'yes, but you're not acting on them', but still...when does it go away? How do you control your thoughts?   GYE Answers: ...

Question: "Why am I so easily aroused and triggered by everything I see? When I walk in the street or even see a children's movie, there are just so many triggers. Have I messed up my mind for life?" GYE Answers: Almost anyone who was once addicted to these things has in...

Question: I've given up the bad stuff already for a few months, but I still feel far from learning to control my eyes. When we see a beautiful girl, and we really KNOW that it's really nothing, but it affects our senses, how in the world can we deal with that? I mean, it ...

Someone who we helped convince to join the 12-Step groups, sent us an e-mail recently as follows: I've had good groups of days, but the big picture is still horrible. I truly hope and am optimistic that one day I will climb out and help others too, but as of today it seem...

The way I see it, the addiction is only a symptom of a larger "disease", which is a general "disconnect" from the very root of what makes us mentchen. The 12-Steps were designed to give a person a refreshed perspective of what it means to be a human being - created in Has...

We have previouly discussed how the 12-Steps give us a set of guidelines that are basic foundations of what it means to be a human being - created in the image of G-d. We have also discussed that it is only after our foundations are solid that can we begin to build on top...

A member called "Yaakov" posted a reply to "eme" (edited): I have done the 12 steps without the groups, so I can testify that it is possible to grow from the 12 steps without the groups. However, those who went to the groups will tell that you will gain a lot by going to ...

Bruce posted on the forum: OK folks, I have to shamefully announce yet again that I had a fall this weekend. Perhaps it is the final push of the Y'H before I start the 90 day challenge. He knows I'll make it, so he's trying to delay it. And he did a good job, too. But whe...

Dov writes on the forum: Once sobriety became my #1 priority and I achieved some time sober, it became precious. And to do anything that will make me lose it, is unthinkable. Nevertheless, when I feel lust, suddenly doing the unthinkable becomes very sensible, and I actua...