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Torah

Using Maaser for Therapy

By the.guard
Question: Hi. Unfortunately my parents don't really support my going to therapy, so I pay for it myself. I basically work to pay for my therapy. I was wondering if I can pay for therapy using masser money? If not, can I give my parents money and then they can use it for m...
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Why doesn't the Torah address addiction?

By obormottel
The Torah does not talk about any mental illnesses directly. The main reason this omission vexes so many and is a recurrent topic on GYE is simple: this particular addiction happens to involve a sin, while alcoholism and drug-addiction do not. Suddenly, an emergency ens...
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Why can't we just find one eitza?!

By obormottel
I believe that the main reason we cannot find one eitza that works is because an eitza is always, that means without exception, nothing more than a gimmick. Gimmicks are tricks that are used in order to bypass real change. They may prevent the behavior, but consider this...
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Puberty - Talk About It

By the.guard
A mother wrote: My son is a good happy erlich boy. No exposure to magazines or computers. We live in a chasidish neighborhood so he doesn't get to see too much pritzus. I notice he has nocturnal emissions often. How often is normal? Also my younger son who is his roommate...
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I'm 15. Why can't I hang out with girls?

By obormottel
Hi. I'm 15 years old and I care about Hashem a lot, but why should I stop hanging out with girls? GYE Answered: Please see page 15-16 of this booklet called "Dear Bochur". It would be better if you read from page 9 already, to understand more about the issue. And if y...
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10 Year Old Watching Porn

By the.guard
Hello, Thank you for your wonderful site. I am a teacher in a religious, Jewish school in Germany. The children in the school often have unfiltered access to the internet (there is little awareness of the dangers here). There is one 10-year-old boy who, from his speech,...
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Discussion with 14 Year Old Boy

By the.guard
A 14 year old boy wrote: So I started doing the TaPHSiC Method, and I ended up falling, so now I have to tell someone about the problem. I'm thinking either my dad or my Rav. What I wanted to know is how to do it. I'm sure they'd both be understanding, but I'm still not s...
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Can a recovering sex addict ever have sex?

By obormottel
Sex addicts new to recovery typically have little to no idea how to define sexual sobriety. Sometimes they worry that sexual sobriety is the same as chemical sobriety, where permanently abstaining is the ultimate goal. Many say that if that is the case, they’ll stick wi...
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The Mind Rules over the Heart... or Does It?

By obormottel
Question: I have a question for Rabbi Twerski or any Chabad rabbi who is on the GYE board. How do the 12-steps go with the concept of “moach shalit al halev” (“Mind rules over the heart”)? GYE Responds: Good question. Let's take the example of someone who has Diabetes. Fo...
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Lack of Trust in Marriage

By the.guard
Dear GYE, I don't know what my husband does or doesn't do regarding the Internet - he plays the innocent card - but I caught him watching porn several years back, and he never came clean to me, saying, "it's in my past, I'm doing GYE." He gets your emails but they rarely ...
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The Magnitude and Root-Causes of Today’s Kedusha Crisis

By the.guard
An email received by GYE from Rabbi Y.W: Dear GYE, My partner and I are directors of a local kiruv organization that realizes that nowadays many in the frum community need a tremendous amount of kiruv and chizuk as well. I am aware of the enormous help GYE provides, and t...
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Why does He let people murder other people?

By obormottel
AnswerMy sympathies for the murder of your cousin. It is an unfathomable tragedy and I share your grief.Your question is a complex one, and the answer contains many variables. I will present them all for you here. I hope that something I have written helps to console you ...
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Why is masturbation a sin? It's natural!

By GYE Admin
Dear Mother of Boys, Great question! Here's the thing. Sins are not like parking tickets--where the violation is clear and the fine is established. In the spiritual realm, Hashem judges each person and each sin according to their specific circumstances. What could be cons...
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It is by Design

By obormottel
Dear Coulda Been, I take strong issue with these sentences of yours: "The tremendous shame is that I lost out on very important developmental years of my life and could have grown into much more than I am. My potential was far greater than what I look like now." This is a...
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Why isn't it taught?

By obormottel
Dear Distraught, I agree it should be addressed earlier. We have a booklet called "Protecting our Youth: Experts Speak" that can help parents know how to speak to their children about these things. But let me just try to set you straight about something. Your best years...
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We don't need the "release."

By obormottel
Dear In Need, Don't worry, the body automatically re-absorbs the semen build-up, so there's no need to release it. I understand it's hard, but this is what separates the men from the boys! Hashem challenges us to be strong and pays us back a thousand-fold in both this wor...
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The Despair of an Addict

By GYE Admin
GYE Responds: First of all, there's no such thing as a disgusting being. Hashem doesn't make junk. He has a plan for you, and it's better than you can imagine! The feelings you express are very common for addicts, and I feel your pain and confusion. A few points c...
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Caught My Father Involved in an Affair

By GYE Admin
I discussed this with Rav Dovid Morgenstern (one of the most prominent poskim today, a talmid of Rav Eliyashiv zatza"l) by phone, and below is a partial transcript of his reply: It's complicated. Mitzad echad, it's only one witness, so he doesn't have any neemanus al pi d...
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