The Library

We would like to welcome a true soldier and hero to our community today. He calls himself "Dov" and one of his first post's on our forum where he shares his own personal story spanning 25 years, is one of the most "eye-opening" stories I have ever read. I really must shar...

Today is day 30 ... I have been working the SA program and been going to meetings even on chol ha'moed. The bottom line for me is that even though I have done 30 days before (albeit rarely), I have not been struggling the same way I have in the past. I have learned by wor...

I've been slipping a lot lately, doing things and going places I know shouldn't. It's so hard to fight this addiction. I feel a desperate need inside me for a loving and intimate relationship. I wanted to know what you think about marriage. It's been on my mind lately, I ...

Reading "divrei chizuk" (from R' Tzvi Meyer) on the topics of Tisha b'Av on Tisha b'Av afternoon is fantastic. (Almost any busywork is better for me - a touchy recovering addict - than focusing on feeling yucky!) There are other people on this forum who have regular and d...

After 70 years, the book Alcoholics Anonymous (referred to as the Big Book) is still the best and only source for step by step instruction on the practical program of action that leads to recovery from addiction. The first 164 pages of the book (the pages that describe th...

In a conference call with Duvid Chaim, we discussed the realization that we usually come up with some lame excuse as to why we should take our first "lust hit", and we rationalize why we can start act out. And once we start, we can't stop!When I first read this in the Big...

First we stayed sober because we had to... then we stayed sober because we were willing to... finally we stay sober because we want to...

Ahron Posted on the Forum: I have gotten to the point where I can occasionally understand why "normal" people view p***n as repulsive (not all the time though). I'm happy about that. However seeing pretty women on the street, even with no further thought beyond the first ...

As we know, we are mourning the destruction of our Temple. And we also know that G-d expressed some level of mercy in destroying the Temple, which is a building and not destroying the Jewish People. And that it is our mission in this generation, to re-build the Temple thr...

Instead of counting the days, let's make the days count! Life without acting out is certainly a wonderful thing, and it should last us another ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty... whatever years, right? I cannot eat or go to the restroom for tomorrow or for yesterd...

Click here for info on how to join Duvid Chaim's Free 12-Step phone Conference. Duvid Chaim helped us understand Step 1 of the 12 steps with the Big Book: "We admitted we were powerless over lusting and that our lives had become unmanageable". I love the saying we've been...

Dov Answers as follows: The answer of my heart to your question is "no", I did not know these things. Furthermore, I believe that had I known them, I would never have needed SA. But let's get honest here and define "knowing these things". The emphasis is on the quality of...

Dov writes to him as follows: My dear fellow, You are certainly not alone in the inability to bear loneliness! (Actually, that's kind of ironic, no?)Anyway, as your insight into yourself grows, you certainly will add weapons to your arsenal, but relying on weapons - no ma...

We learned yesterday in the call that the "spiritual experience" that we are all seeking (d'veikut) happens slowly, as we work the 12 steps, and not all at once. That's why we have to be patient and not say, as I was saying last week: "How come I'm in the program for 3 we...

The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough

We have discussed in the past how one of the foundations of the 12-Steps is learning how to "Let Go and Let G-d". Well, another major foundation of the steps that helps us find freedom from the addiction, is learning how to live for OTHERS and not be "self-centered". As o...

"Me" posted: I saw in the sefer Shomer Emunim that we can't even begin to fathom the Emunah (faith) that our forefathers had. The revelation that they had of Hashem is way beyond our grasp... BUT, Emunah P'shuta (simple faith) is our yerusha (inheritance) too, and we stil...

One of the main causes of addiction is stress and anxiety. We tend to use the addiction as an escape to make ourselves feel good when our lives feel "difficult to control". But stress and anxiety are really a result of a mistaken perception of "control"; we think that it ...