The way to get sober
Reading "divrei chizuk" (from R' Tzvi Meyer) on the topics of Tisha b'Av on Tisha b'Av afternoon is fantastic. (Almost any busywork is better for me - a touchy recovering addict - than focusing on feeling yucky!)
There are other people on this forum who have regular and deep ties to Reb Tzvi Meyer. I only visited him for a week, a few years ago, and whenever I am in Eretz Yisroel I try to get to his Erev Shabbos 1hr shmooz at 12 or 1pm, etc.
His "Divrei Chizzuk" functions kind of like the Bnei Yisoschar always has for me: he describes exactly what the avodah of the day/week/month or tekufah is about and suggests specific ideas to focus on that are essential to improving avodah in general. Beautiful. His Torah and Orah are life itself!
Nevertheless, I cannot say this enough, and have posted a lot about this in the past: These seforim, and all the good intentions and teachings of yiras shomayim in the world - and out of it, are not what I needed - and need - to stay sober today.
As an addict, I needed to work the 12-steps with help from another addict. Period.
The seforim and Torah give us a reason to live, and they define "being alive" bichlal. They also give me a reason to want to be sober.
But for me, the way to get sober and sane enough to stay alive, was by using these tools (the 12-Steps and a sponsor), and not by doing more of what I was doing before, nor even by doing it better.
I wish you the best, of course, and I love you, no matter what. You may not be an addict at all. But if you are, you may need to do these steps too, as I did.