When we make amends we need to be clear about what we're apologizing for and the best way to say we're sorry. What we are really doing with our amends is taking responsibility for our behavior. We need to be sure that the process itself will not be self-defeating or hur...

As one goes through life, one learns that if you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move.--Katharine Hepburn NewcomerI appreciate the fact that you remain friendly and even-tempered even though I don't always follow your advice.SponsorFriends can disagree without ha...

The fourth step... involves accounting and preparation—they are interdependent, because how we account for the past is how we prepare for the future. In our program Inventory means "searching" we examine the mistakes of the past in order not to repeat them. In particul...

Let's cut right to the heart of the matter: We get in trouble if we try to run our own lives. Our ego starts to mess things up. We try to control things we can't control. We think we are smarter than we are. We start to think we can run things just fine by ourselve...

I feel very guilty when I do something really stupid. What's wrong with that? Yes, the guilt pain of masturbating does require many people to medicate all over again. So? Too many newbies make what they think is a 'recovery call' - but really they just want the 'older' gu...

I am an addict, so my truth is far more machmir than all the religious folk are. Misah bideai Shomayim, coreis, whatever... For me, it is misah bidei Odom - me. I really kill myself when I lust and act out, R'l. It's not "spiritual" death, and no violins are needed, thank...

I hate wet dreams and do not wish them on anyone. But here is what I have been given on that: I think it is a pretty much just silly pride for me to ever really buy the belief that a guy like me - no matter how much recovery work I ever do - really deserves to sleep free ...

ChaimYakov says: "I did ask this question in person no less than 4 times to 4 different Rabbanim. The answers I got in order were: 1) You need to get married 2) You need to get rid of the Iternet 3) You need to talk to your Rav about this 4) You probably won't be able to...

"Powerless" has nothing whatsoever to do with 'ilmolei ozro, eino yachol lo' and is not the flipside of 'hakol bidei Shomayim chutz miyir'as Shomayim', at all. Whether I am in control or not is a simple fact: if I cannot stop having sex with myself (most folks call that ...

Fruits are squeezed to get juice. Flowers are crushed to get fragrance. Diamonds are extracted to make jewels. So if you are being pushed in life - Fear Not!!! It's Hashem, trying to get the Best out of you.