The Library

"Eye.nonymous" writes: When I first joined this forum I was thinking, "I don't have such a big problem. I just have a lot of trouble controlling my eyes on the street. But po** and mast** I just slip up on once in while, and it's really not my fault because I'm trying so...

Chuck C. once said: "What you are looking for, you're looking with; and what you found, came here with you." We've all got Hashem with us, period. When Hashem told the Avos not to fear, "for I am with you," He was not informing them of anything. They always knew he was wi...

Before I joined GYE last year, I was being constantly attacked by lust. I was a heavy "user". It was an everyday pastime, and sometimes many times a day. I never considered it abnormal because I had great excuses, such as "My friends are doing it" and "it's healthy for yo...

Am I a tzaddik for not shooting myself in the head by looking at a magazine rack on the street, or for not clicking on a dirty pop-up ad? Or am I just not a dummy? I choose the latter. Halevai Hashem should call me up after 120 and announce: "Here comes Dov... and he's no...

Today's call was so eye-opening for me! If I may paraphrase the amazing revelation that Duvid Chaim shared: Always being "on guard" against lust by consciously avoiding it, either via willpower, or by putting in place "S.M.O.G" (S ome M echanisms O f G uard) like filters,...

For my first few weeks here at GYE, I didn't really leave my house at all (since my work allows for that). The only woman I came in contact with was my mother. Going to the mailbox was risky, as I might get a glance of the female joggers that would be jogging by my house....

Yetzer Hara: You're such a shaigetz, you need to go to shul and daven the entire thing. If you don't go to shul, your worthless, and even if you do go, you have to be zoche for your teffilos to reach Hashem. Shaigetz. Me: Right, I am a shaigetz, I give up, I hate myself. ...

Someone wrote on the forum: The issue is regaining control of your life. Religion/faith/the god question has nothing to do with recovery.   Dov responds: My personal experience 'begs to differ' with you on this. And mind you, I'd be the last guy to refer to my addiction a...

Today, before davening, I stopped by my parents house to show their cleaning lady what I needed her to do in the kitchen to prepare for my kashering their place on Motsoi Shabbos. When I entered the kitchen, I almost bumped into this girl. I thought a Polish cleaning lady...

I am an addict, and this problem took me for a ride for over 20 years, always getting worse. I learned, studied all about the Yetzer Hara, went to Rebbis, shrinks, and read books, learned harder, and did tons of teshuvah.... Here is what I learned: I masturbated for years...

Someone writes: I know that I have a partially warped image of G-d, and I am trying to figure out what a non-warped image of G-d would look like.... Dov responds: My sponsor told me something funny once. He said that if he could change the Steps he'd make them read inste...

To me, "getting out of His way" is something we slowly begin to do in recovery. Using schmutz is our way of staying in control. Arranging to get exactly what we want when we want it, avoiding pain whenever we wish, and manipulating the environment to make it exciting ...

The fact that a particular addict arose in a dysfunctional family is played-down a bit in the steps. The steps are focused on accepting the simple truth about me as I am today. Many of us move easily into whining, blaming and self-pity when we focus on our families and th...

I've been receiving calls from y'all admitting difficulty with coping with the pressures of Pesach preparation in the home. Included is a lot of resentment, irritability and discontent with the Wife and Children. So the Yetzer Hara has got you right where he wants to. We ...

Is it sanity and sobriety that you are striving for, or is it 'understanding' that you feel you need? What would satisfy you, really? Do you think that sobriety without understanding "why" will make you look like a fool? Well, why is it important to you not to be/look lik...

Someone wrote: My day was stressful, with occasional bursts of desire. Life carries on. I just wish there were simple answers. Dov Replies: In dealing with bursts of desire, Davening and getting busy are the main on-the-spot tools I know of, but slowly having our motivat...

Whenever I get resentful at my wife, I react by cleaning something in our house, vacuuming, doing laundry, or spending quality time with our children. I need to do it right away without thinking about it... there's just no other way for me to stay sane sometimes than givi...

I have been going to SA for over 13 years and have not been "found out" yet. Neither have any of my frum and non-frum - and for that matter - non-jewish - associates. The problem that most folks who I meet really have with going to meetings is that they know it'll be unco...