The Library

"Normals" vs. Addicts

By GYE Admin
Everyone needs some sort of help to make it in life - even our tzaddikim and gedolim admit that they do. But... I keep hearing people asking in one way or another, "So how can I finally convince myself that I am really powerless/that I am an addict?" Gevalt. I do ...
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Is it permissible to enter a church to attend a 12-step meeting?

By obormottel
RABBI YEHOSHUA KAGANOFF Passaic, NJ 07055 201-953-2703 20 Sivan, 5776 / 26 June ‘16 Below is the pertinent part of my responsum to a highly regarded, prominent Talmid Chochom Posek, which is found on pg 158 of my sefer on addiction and halocho. I have translated (and ann...
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Recovery vs. Teshuvah

By obormottel
It is important that we differentiate between recovery work and “Teshuvah”, otherwise we are implying that addiction is essentially sinning, which is a Pandora's box, of sorts. I insist that addiction and recovery are Derech Eretz issues rather than Torah ones, and tha...
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The Program works if you want it to work

By obormottel
Rarely do climbers stare up to see how far away the top still is. Instead, when they rest, they look down toward the starting point of their journey. The view they see assures them that they have already come a long, long way. Like the climbers, we need to keep our eye...
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How can I reconcile Torah and 12 steps?

By obormottel
Rabbi Kaganoff's "Addictions: Halocho and Hashkofo." This book is a few hundred pages long, but if you have the time and the patience, you will find most of your concerns with the 12 steps, attending meetings, etc. adequately addressed. In particular, the question "Are th...
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By
Remember that addiction is incurable, progressive, and fatal.
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What to Expect During Your First 12-Step Meeting

By obormottel
Many first-timers are amazed by the cordial, relaxed atmosphere of 12-step meetings and the eclectic mix of people in attendance. Firstly, you should know that are two types of "traditional" 12-Step support group meetings: open and closed. Open meetings are for anyone wh...
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The 'Nachas Ruach' Treatment Model

By obormottel
Torah Perspectives on the Twelve StepsIn this section we will analyze the Twelve Step program of addictions and recovery from a Torah perspective. In recent years the Twelve Step program has become widely accepted both in Israel and in the Jewish world. Our goal is to cla...
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Forced to persevere

By obormottel
In the sugya of Matan Torah in Mesichta Shabbos there are (amongst many others) two mamorei Chazal: 1. The Yidden said Naaseh V'Nishman 2. כפה עליהם הר כגגית- the Eibishter held the mountain above the Yidden thereby forcing them to accept the Torah. The question arises if...
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The First Step Inventory

By obormottel
I want to thank Hashem for extending His Hand and showing me the GYE website. I am addicted to Lust. I am totally powerless, and it is only by the grace of G-d that I can begin to change my life. I’m 36 years old and have been struggling with this problem for two dec...
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Letter to Hashem

By obormottel
Dear G-d, As I work through my fears, I realize I am thoroughly insane, tossed about by multitudes of negative character traits, trying my best to protect myself and get what I want, according to my mind's instructions. But I only get panic and chaos. When one characteri...
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SIPUR YETZIYAS MITZRAYIM - SPEAKING IT OUT

By obormottel
Dov, who is clean in SA since 1997 (see his story here), replies: Gorgeous! At the Seder, we say, "afilu kulonu chachomin/nevonim/know the Torah and the whole story - mitzvah aleinu l'saper" - 'sipur' means to tell someone else a thing we already know. First, it is to t...
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How I (Finally) Got Out of My Box

By obormottel
I understand fully and do not blame you. There is a right time for everything. I just want to share with you what happened to me and how the time became right. With my first faltering and shaky phone calls for help almost 28 years ago to a person on an 'anonymous helpli...
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A moment in the life of a full-blown sex addict

By obormottel
Someone shared on GYE that he has found a tool to help him. When he feels the temptation to stare at and/or follow these women with his eyes, he thinks about the realness of this woman that he is worshiping, and tries to use that realization to snap him out of it and trea...
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Am I a Lustaholic?

By obormottel
You said yesterday that you can't accept the fact that you are (or you are labeled) a lustaholic - an addict to lust. I can identify with your fear of this stigma, I understand you so well. I (and many more on GYE) have been in the same boat and are still there. I will n...
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SA versus SAA

By the.guard
GYE asked an old-time SA member and this was his response: Yeah, some people like it while some don't; in some countries and cities it's attendance and sobriety presence is pathetic while in others SA's is; etc, etc. I don't know if it's more robust, but they have a secti...
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Can the 12-Step program help someone deal with SSA (same-sex attraction)?

By obormottel
Dov writes: Sometimes guys write to me about SSA. I responded to a couple of them with this (below) as a start to the right conversation: As far as myself, I do not see any similarity that homosexuality bears to addiction. Do you? It seems like a separate issue and ther...
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The Grass is Greener Where You Water It.

By obormottel
I've related this story many times in sharing my step-work and recovery thus far. Though cliche, it was an important experience because it was mine: I was at a chasuna. I saw a guy who I really respect, a talmid chochom who is 'different,' knowledgeable in areas that I as...
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