The Library

Yes, we know that during the Chagim, he tried to stick his foot in many times, because when there is greater kedushah (the yom tovim), then there is greater tumah, i.e. Mr. Menuval.  But, now we have finished with the chagim. Let us not forget that on one hand it was the Chagim that helped us. We tuned into the kedushah and ran from the tumah.

Look, I go to meetings cuz I am an addict. And I am not denying the possibility that Holy Man is an addict, too. And I certainly do not wish to c"v dissuade anyone who may (or may not) be an addict from finding the help they need - and certainly many addicts are helped in 12 step fellowships, as I am, b"H. But I believe we should not be implying that he should consider going to meetings tonight solely on the basis of how bad or dangerous what he is doing may be.

I happened to read in the Kaf Hachaim (5) that Vasikin is mechaper for Zera L'vatala! What hashgacha pratis! Hashem obviously wanted me to daven vasikin to send me a sign that my Teshuva is accepted!

Our addictions are internal. Sometimes the external factors are unchangeable. Sometimes we accidentally see things we aren’t supposed to. Sometimes we even do it on purpose. But our Tefillah to Hashem should be to keep us strong internally.

GYE showed me that I wasn't alone in the struggle, that I'm not a faker - just a 'struggler,' and, most importantly, that there IS a way out!

Jewish tradition, however, does not see sex , per se, as sinful. In fact, in the right context, and when engaged in with conscious purpose, sex is seen as a positive commandment,

I have been struggling with shmutz on the Internet. I was addicted to personals ads on a well-known site for years. I used to talk to women, send pictures, and sometimes even meet up with them.

Ki yadati ess yitzro asher hu osseh hayom. (31:21) I know his Yetzer Horah which he makes for himself today!

We all know from the Rambam that complete teshuva is when you are in the exact same situation with the same temptation, yet you overcome the temptation. Sometimes, it's hard for me to imagine being in the exact same situation with the same level of lust.

"Am I crazy? Am I a fool? Am I living my life in denial? Of course, I am going to do teshuva. But what will be Motzai Yom Kippur? What will be rosh chodesh Shvat, Addar, Addar Beis?!

Velo nomar od elokainu lemaaseh yadeinu asher becha yerucham yasom. We all feel like orphans in some areas of life, when we feel that we cannot rely on anyone/anything to get us what we need/want. Only our efforts and exertions can do the trick. That is wrong, asher bech...

The existence in Gan Eden was one where there was no desire at all to look upon דבר שאינו שלו, anything else besides what one is supposed to have. And it is in this sense that Shabbat is "Gan Eden." It is when we must remind ourselves that we have everything we need, and we have no reason to look at anything else. And thus there is special importance to שמירת עיניים, avoiding improper sights, on Shabbat.

B”H, I’m doing okay — almost 12 full days - but I’m scared I will just have a sudden fall. I’m trying to put in an effort every day but maybe one day I’ll simply be possessed by my Y”H and masturbate, and either not care or just not have the power to stop it in the moment.

Many people tell me that I am not an addict. After all, has my addictive behaviors caused terrible harm and consequences? Have I lost my whole family?  Have I contracted AIDS? Have I given someone else a sexually transmitted disease?

I believe that an addict can heal and become a struggler. I believe that it is easier than it seems. It can’t be done alone, GYE is needed. GYE has all the tools necessary but they need to be modified to be used well.

The following five thoughts helped interrupt my out-of-balance thinking and behavior. Practiced with honesty and integrity, they can allow you to be free of unwanted addictions.