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A thought on false expectations

A thought on false expectations

obormottel Monday, 05 November 2018

We need to differentiate between a false sense of entitlement and a justified one. It is reasonable to feel entitled to an adequate payment for the job you had hired yourself out to do, as it is reasonable to feel entitled to undamaged goods when making a purchase.

Looking Up

Looking Up

obormottel Monday, 05 November 2018

The things we absorb in childhood unfortunately continue with us, unless we make efforts to change them. One thing that is universal among children, is that they compare themselves to other children, and are always jealous of what others have that they don’t. You're always looking at what somebody else has that you want. First, it’s a doll, then it’s a dress, then it’s a husband, then it’s a baby carriage, then it’s a vacation.

Positive Vision

testchart1 Tuesday, 16 October 2018

I basically keep the rules.    I wake up early, daven with a minyan, squeeze in a breakfast (sometimes) and a daf, and I'm off to work. After a long day at the office, I come home and try to be a good husband and father.    I try to do what's right ... but shmiras einayim is a really tough one. 

Rough Diamond

Rough Diamond

obormottel Sunday, 14 October 2018

"Please Hashem, within all my defects, my sins, my warts, my hurts, my huge mess,  lies a specialness that you put in me. Why did you create me? Because you say I have value. Otherwise, I would not be here in this world.

If all else fails, maybe join the program?

If all else fails, maybe join the program?

obormottel Sunday, 14 October 2018

It wasn't until I walked into a room of fellow addicts and admitted my utter defeat and the unmanageability of my life (step one), and got a sponsor to help me work the 12 steps that I was given the gift of sobriety.

Keep the Mar out of Cheshvan

Keep the Mar out of Cheshvan

obormottel Friday, 12 October 2018

Yes, we know that during the Chagim, he tried to stick his foot in many times, because when there is greater kedushah (the yom tovim), then there is greater tumah, i.e. Mr. Menuval.  But, now we have finished with the chagim. Let us not forget that on one hand it was the Chagim that helped us. We tuned into the kedushah and ran from the tumah.

Addict or Not?

Addict or Not?

obormottel Friday, 12 October 2018

Look, I go to meetings cuz I am an addict. And I am not denying the possibility that Holy Man is an addict, too. And I certainly do not wish to c"v dissuade anyone who may (or may not) be an addict from finding the help they need - and certainly many addicts are helped in 12 step fellowships, as I am, b"H. But I believe we should not be implying that he should consider going to meetings tonight solely on the basis of how bad or dangerous what he is doing may be.

First Yom Kippur Without Guilt

First Yom Kippur Without Guilt

obormottel Monday, 08 October 2018

I happened to read in the Kaf Hachaim (5) that Vasikin is mechaper for Zera L'vatala! What hashgacha pratis! Hashem obviously wanted me to daven vasikin to send me a sign that my Teshuva is accepted!

From the inside out

From the inside out

obormottel Sunday, 07 October 2018

Our addictions are internal. Sometimes the external factors are unchangeable. Sometimes we accidentally see things we aren’t supposed to. Sometimes we even do it on purpose. But our Tefillah to Hashem should be to keep us strong internally.

90 Days!!!

90 Days!!!

obormottel Sunday, 07 October 2018

GYE showed me that I wasn't alone in the struggle, that I'm not a faker - just a 'struggler,' and, most importantly, that there IS a way out!

Zivug with God Himself

Zivug with God Himself

obormottel Sunday, 30 September 2018

Jewish tradition, however, does not see sex , per se, as sinful. In fact, in the right context, and when engaged in with conscious purpose, sex is seen as a positive commandment,

Hashgocho Protis

Hashgocho Protis

obormottel Monday, 17 September 2018

I have been struggling with shmutz on the Internet. I was addicted to personals ads on a well-known site for years. I used to talk to women, send pictures, and sometimes even meet up with them.

Of our own making

Of our own making

obormottel Friday, 14 September 2018

Ki yadati ess yitzro asher hu osseh hayom. (31:21) I know his Yetzer Horah which he makes for himself today!

A Gift of Teshuva

A Gift of Teshuva

obormottel Friday, 14 September 2018

We all know from the Rambam that complete teshuva is when you are in the exact same situation with the same temptation, yet you overcome the temptation. Sometimes, it's hard for me to imagine being in the exact same situation with the same level of lust.

Opportunity of Gevaldig Proportions

Opportunity of Gevaldig Proportions

obormottel Friday, 14 September 2018

"Am I crazy? Am I a fool? Am I living my life in denial? Of course, I am going to do teshuva. But what will be Motzai Yom Kippur? What will be rosh chodesh Shvat, Addar, Addar Beis?!

Like an Orphan

obormottel Friday, 14 September 2018

Velo nomar od elokainu lemaaseh yadeinu asher becha yerucham yasom. We all feel like orphans in some areas of life, when we feel that we cannot rely on anyone/anything to get us what we need/want. Only our efforts and exertions can do the trick. That is wrong, asher bech...

London Rabbanim

Protecting Our Gateway to Gan Eden

Protecting Our Gateway to Gan Eden

obormottel Monday, 03 September 2018

The existence in Gan Eden was one where there was no desire at all to look upon דבר שאינו שלו, anything else besides what one is supposed to have. And it is in this sense that Shabbat is "Gan Eden." It is when we must remind ourselves that we have everything we need, and we have no reason to look at anything else. And thus there is special importance to שמירת עיניים, avoiding improper sights, on Shabbat.

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