So I am on day 17 of my streak, and feel real down about what happened last night. I had a wet dream and it really was disturbing to wake up to such an episode. I really feel since I have now been clean over 2 months, the sperm needs to come out and no matter how much im guarding my eyes and staying away from Porn and Masturbation it's out of my control. SO please answer these two questions, is it counted as a fall and #2, how can I control wet dreams to prevent them from happening?

Thanks

No it does not count as a fall. And the best way to control it is to watch what you think about during the day. "Venishmarta Mekol Davar Ra - Shelo Yeharher Bayom Veyavo Leydei Keri Balayla"

There's also a well-known segula to say the first 4 perakim of Tehillim before you go to sleep.

Hatzlacha and KOMT!!!

I wouldn't count it as a fall. It was not done with intent at all. Worry about staying sober while you are awake, and over time, the wet dreams will become less freqent as well. Don't worry, "the sperm does not need to come out".

Nothing to add to Gibor120's words.

I wouldn't count it as a fall. It was not done with intent at all. Worry about staying sober while you are awake, and over time, the wet dreams will become less frequent as well. Don't worry, "the sperm does not need to come out".

Just do your best and leave the rest to Hashem. If it happens, just ignore it and don't let it get you down. As R' Nachman says, it should be considered as bedwetting, nothing more.

BTW, speaking from experience, the same strategy should be applied for partial emissions of seminal fluids ('wetness') that may automatically occur during the day as a result of lustful thoughts (which we need to avoid), but without any action on your part (i.e. no P* or M*). The YH will try to tell you "you blew it, you may as well go all the way". But you need to ignore it and stick to your vigilance. This lesson took me decades to learn, but now it helps me stick to my guns without falling for those nasty tricks.

Hatzlacha

MT

Great words of advice.
I have started writing in a journal/diary of my own whee I track down all my thoughts, areas where I was tempted or wanted to give in/overcame any challenges during the day in areas of Shmiras Eynaim or Bris. It has helped so far, only been 4 days. It helps me see where I tend to usually want to fall, how I am feeling at that moment and why I am in that situation to begin with. I see how I am thinking, what leads me to get into that mood, why and how I can prevent it in the future. What time of the day it was, who was around or where I was specifically, etc.
I think this is the best secret out there for recovery. WRITING YOUR THOUGHTS AND PLANNING AHEAD WITH A GAME PLAN.

Just my idea, what do you guys think?

Hi everybody

As a "newcomer" these points really bother me. Sometimes by reading material that is basically unproblematic, I have some thoughts and all of a sudden I feel wetness, and when checking I find that something has come out. So is it OK not to restart the counting of 90 days chart then?
And what if by reading newspaper (no p***) sites, non-tzniusdik images show up and I do not immediately close? Is that a slip or fall?

Thanks
B.

Welcome!!!!

I'm not very well versed on the rules of the chart - guardyoureyes.com/90-days-chart/rules

What I try to do every day is to focus on being clean today!

FSKOT

(Fell Shmell Keep on Trucking)

Many thanks.

See your point. For me, however, it's the first time for tens (!) of years staying relatively clean for a longer period (be'ems not my zechus, but the zechus of this gevaldige website). If I have to re-count, I don't want to cheat... From the other side, I might c"v give up.

B.

Balabos wrote on 01 Feb 2016 12:21:


Hello from the other side.

I don't know the exact metzius, but it sounds like you're ok on the count.

Perhaps begin your own thread in one of the categories.

Lookin' forward.

B'hatzlachah

So I'm about to say possibly one of the most heretical things one can say on this site:

I don't think you have to follow everything that is written here down to the exact letter*. (There, I've said it. bring on the hate! )

What I mean by that is this site is intended to give tips and tricks on how to combat lust, but ultimately this is just the word of GYE not GOD. While a lot of thought was put into every piece of advice given on this website and should not be simply ignored without a fair amount of thought and consideration, everyone is different, and might use some tools and not others, and tweak certain tools to give the optimal amount of help for their recovery.

*Halachic Disclaimer: The TaPHSiC method does have Halachic grounds to it, so those might need to be followed to the letter. Consult your LOR (Local Orthodox Rabbi, or more realistically since this is an anonymous site, Local Orthodox Recovering-sexaholic-on-the-GYE-forum).

m58yiw84niym wrote on 01 Feb 2016 15:39:


Heretic! Koifer! Couldn't agree more. Do whatever it takes to make it work for you.

Balabos wrote on 01 Feb 2016 11:43:


I actually don't think it's a slip OR a fall. I think the issue according to GYE's rules is looking on purpose. But I would say, as someone did above, that don't get caught up with the rules to your detriment.

For example, don't let it be that if it's a fall, then may as well act out a little more. In fact, I'm thinking of making a new rule- you're not allowed to act out after a fall, and if you do, it's another fall! What I mean seriously is that don't put your success at the mercy of terms like slip or fall. It's you and the effort in working hard with whatever methods you're using, and no matter what happens, you want to keep it up! Hatzlacha!

I like that: "working hard .... and no matter what happens, you want to keep it up!"

Thank you so much for your advice and your Chizuk!

Regards,
B.

Be practical. Whichever gives you more positive motivation. I tend to think NOT considering it a fall is the better choice in most situations.