wilnevergiveup wrote on 12 Oct 2020 05:27:

This is the question.
Im gonna make Esrog vodka, but that doesn’t take so long.
Thinkin of other stuff.
The thing is that I need something meaningful.
I can’t be סובל pointless distractions. It just gets me depressed.
Thats my struggle with the concept of “keeping myself busy”
I need a meaningful outlet.
All suggestions are welcome and appreciated

YeshivaGuy wrote on 13 Oct 2020 01:28:

Why don't you make a batch of beer?
It takes at least a whole day plus time for research.

wilnevergiveup wrote on 13 Oct 2020 20:34:

He had enough Corona. 
Any other ideas?

Markz wrote on 13 Oct 2020 21:28:

I think it's "beer"-ly an issue, and its a fine idea, make a different kind and the "Coor" problem is resolved, and Yeshiva guy proved he's not a S(t)am Adam(s), and there's only one way to sum up his October...Fest! He has a "stella"r record!

                                    Grant

Forget about “Make it to yeshiva “ looks like Yeshiva made it to you ..

YeshivaGuy wrote on 13 Oct 2020 01:16:

I want to address this point as it is something that I struggle with as well.

I want you to really ask yourself "did I really have a bad day?" 

If you answer yes then ask yourself why, give yourself the whole shebang and then write it down (I write it on a google docs sheet) and FORGET ABOUT IT. You don't have to worry, if you ever want to remember, that's why you wrote it down, so just forget about it.

Now ask yourself, amid your awful day was there anything that you did do well? There is always something, did you wake up on time, did you daven, if you woke up late and still davened that an accomplishment too. were you kind, did you help someone out, did you make someone feel good. I can go on and on I am sure the list is quite long. 
Focus on all the good that you do and try to build on them.

Aaaah, so why do we feel like losers?

This is the million dollar question and the answer is, well I don't really know the answer for every situation but I will suggest an answer that you may relate to.

When we make goals for ourselves, we tend to set goals based on what we feel the most guilty about, instead of what we will actually grow from.
This creates expectations for yourself and when these expectations are not met we feel like a failure.

We have to learn what to expect from ourselves and what not to but especially we need to learn to set the correct goals.

For example, two days before Succos I spent most of the day working on the succah and helping my wife in the kitchen with little time to learn or do some of the other things that I had planned.

I felt awful, I had planned on having a four hour first seder, learn my mussar, do my workout and finish a project that I was working on and I didn't get to any of those.
My whole day was a mess, I was stressed that I didn't get to all those things and I was stressed about having to take care of the things that I had to take care of because they were preventing me from reaching my goals. 

After the day was over I sat down and said to myself wow what a bad day, if the rest of bein hazemanim goes like this, I'm done for.

Then I realized that I can still change my goals retroactively. I said, listen here, today your goals are to daven before the zman, learn twenty minutes, finish building the succah, help my wife when she needs me and read Dr. Seuss books to my 2 year old so that my wife can work. 

Wow! What an accomplishing day, and I even accomplished my goals!

I had Covid19 over Yom Kippur (and I am not the only one) and was stuck at home. My Rav told me, "you know Hashem doesn't want you to serve him on your terms, he want's you to serve him on his terms. Hashem want's you to show him that you can have a great Yom Kippur at home too."

Life is like a ladder, one rung at a time. If you stay on the same rung the entire time, you will fail to understand the point of the ladder and eventually just climb down, but if you try to take a giant leap and hopefully you will catch on somewhere on top you will end up in the same place and with far more pain too.
Reaching too high isn't growth, it's suicide. Of course you want to climb the tallest ladder, but you still got to climb it one ring at a time.

I decided that I was going to daven at a certain minyan during the last week of bein hazemanim that I thought was reasonable for me but in the end I never made it there. Today I thought, I have two options, either I could continue to push and maybe I will feel like a loser or maybe I will win, or I could daven in a different minyan that there is nothing wrong with other than the fact that it wasn't in the plan. 
Today I davened with a minyan and yesterday I davened at home, which one was better?

People spend all their lives feeling unaccomplished, not because they don't accomplish, rather because they don't live up to their own expectations.

Grant400 wrote on 13 Oct 2020 22:43:

Great one, Bud! You ”lite” our way and make us “weiser”.

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 14 Oct 2020 02:23:

Oh my goodness, if only I would have known what that would cause...

Don't you guys know that puns are assur .