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Re: Make it to Yeshiva 28 Dec 2021 18:30 #375330

  • mggsbms
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starting wrote on 28 Dec 2021 14:30:
One of my favourite stories is told about the chofetz Chaim when he was talking to bochurim from branowitz

The chofetz Chaim asked the following:
Yaakov avinu, when he heard that Yosef was still alive and in mitzraim, said 'I'll go and see him before I die'. Why did Yaakov have such a burning desire to meet Yosef in this world? They will be together in gan Eden forever? 

He answered that when Yaakov heated what Yosef hatzadik had been through and how he had remained so holy in such a place, he knew that even he, Yaakov avinu would not be sitting anywhere close to Yosef in gan Eden and the last chance to be with together would be only on this world.

At this point the chofetz Chaim started crying and he turned to R Elchonon and said, thank you thank you for giving me a chance to see the bochurim of today now, because after they live through the 20th century, there is no way that we will come close to their olam haba. 
Any jew that preserves his kedusha in such a world is far far greater than all the gedolim of the past

This was over 100 years ago
If you think it was exaggerated at the time, at least now, in todays world we can start believing it

The problem is that the world has normalised all that is filthy to the extant that we don't appreciate how a healthy human would act and think when the world was how it was designed 
We have to start feeling that all we see and hear is not normal. It should not be like this. Then we can start feeling the obviousness of the need to be a real human, to be holy and pure

Hatzlocho 
With love

Very profound, this vort has a strong source in todays Daf Hayomi, the Gemara says "תעלה בעידניה סגיד ליה" bow to a fox when it his time, is referring to Yaakov and Yosef, when Yaakov bowed to Yosef in Mitzraim.
Aka -  Mischadeish075 Email mischadeish075@gmail.com

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 29 Dec 2021 00:38 #375348

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omekhadavar, that reply is a masterpiece, it gave me tremendous chizuk.
The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 02 Jan 2022 21:34 #375455

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I had installed a filter on a device here at home.
I found a way around it, was nichshal the last few days and now asked my dad for the code to fix it.
He asked me “why do you try getting around these things.”

What I really wanted to say was: Are you seriously asking that question? I’ve seen your browser history with all the porn you’ve watched. I’ve seen emails you received from secret accounts you made on pritzus sites, I know you downloaded tinder a few years ago….”

Instead I said: “Because I have taiva.”
He said he prob shouldn’t have asked that question and I fixed it.

Alots going on, and I’ve used that as a heter for porn the last few days. But I put that to a stop.
Pretty pissed at my dad but whatever.

Gn

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 03 Jan 2022 03:22 #375460

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I had installed a filter on a device here at home.

I found a way around it, was nichshal the last few days and now asked my dad for the code to fix it.

He asked me “why do you try getting around these things.”



What I really wanted to say was: Are you seriously asking that question? I’ve seen your browser history with all the porn you’ve watched. I’ve seen emails you received from secret accounts you made on pritzus sites, I know you downloaded tinder a few years ago….”



Instead I said: “Because I have taiva.”

He said he prob shouldn’t have asked that question and I fixed it.



Alots going on, and I’ve used that as a heter for porn the last few days. But I put that to a stop.

Pretty pissed at my dad but whatever.



Gn
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Re: Make it to Yeshiva 03 Jan 2022 20:01 #375479

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YeshivaGuy wrote on 02 Jan 2022 21:34:
I had installed a filter on a device here at home.
I found a way around it, was nichshal the last few days and now asked my dad for the code to fix it.
He asked me “why do you try getting around these things.”

What I really wanted to say was: Are you seriously asking that question? I’ve seen your browser history with all the porn you’ve watched. I’ve seen emails you received from secret accounts you made on pritzus sites, I know you downloaded tinder a few years ago….”

Instead I said: “Because I have taiva.”
He said he prob shouldn’t have asked that question and I fixed it.

Alots going on, and I’ve used that as a heter for porn the last few days. But I put that to a stop.
Pretty pissed at my dad but whatever.

Gn

Wow...You're amazing

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 05 Jan 2022 07:42 #375539

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Thank you to @OmekDavar, those are very important mareh mekomos. I wonder though why it doesn’t seem the message I’ve been taught.

Been sick for the last week or so, starting to feel better bh. I wish you all much Hatzlocha!
Today was the day of my bris milah and I masterbated. 
Perhaps though it’s best I don’t make everything into a big significant occasion, anyway gn.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 14 Jan 2022 05:57 #375903

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Man- Plaqued with pain, anxiety, and terror- experiences moments of clarity as lightning vanquishes storms darkness.

May the storm pass.
May the sun rise.
And may I live to see it.

                 YeshivaGuy

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 14 Jan 2022 06:52 #375904

Keep going buddy… soon the sun will shine really bright! You got this! 
“Distancing and removing triggers is only bringing the door closer..Changing the insides and our nature is the key to get in.” 

“Human connection can help every sort of struggle” 

If anyone would like to reach me I’d love to help out! 
anonymouslyhappy111@gmail.com

Break free the easy way using the self-talk method!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain--Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Check out this thread with packed Insight for every person at every stage! 
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/376994-%E2%80%9CShtark%E2%80%9D-insight-that-may-make-you-%E2%80%9Cemotional%E2%80%9D-%29

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 18 Jan 2022 14:43 #376095

starting wrote on 28 Dec 2021 14:30:
One of my favourite stories is told about the chofetz Chaim when he was talking to bochurim from branowitz

The chofetz Chaim asked the following:
Yaakov avinu, when he heard that Yosef was still alive and in mitzraim, said 'I'll go and see him before I die'. Why did Yaakov have such a burning desire to meet Yosef in this world? They will be together in gan Eden forever? 

He answered that when Yaakov heated what Yosef hatzadik had been through and how he had remained so holy in such a place, he knew that even he, Yaakov avinu would not be sitting anywhere close to Yosef in gan Eden and the last chance to be with together would be only on this world.

At this point the chofetz Chaim started crying and he turned to R Elchonon and said, thank you thank you for giving me a chance to see the bochurim of today now, because after they live through the 20th century, there is no way that we will come close to their olam haba. 
Any jew that preserves his kedusha in such a world is far far greater than all the gedolim of the past

This was over 100 years ago
If you think it was exaggerated at the time, at least now, in todays world we can start believing it

The problem is that the world has normalised all that is filthy to the extant that we don't appreciate how a healthy human would act and think when the world was how it was designed 
We have to start feeling that all we see and hear is not normal. It should not be like this. Then we can start feeling the obviousness of the need to be a real human, to be holy and pure

Hatzlocho 
With love

Wow I’ve heard diff variations of the vort of the challenge of our gen, but this story really hit a spot and gave me goosebumps. Great great story. Thanks for sharing
"You will never be entirely comfortable. This is the truth behind the champion – he is always fighting something. To do otherwise is to settle."
Battle on, and I always take advice.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 21 Jan 2022 20:14 #376302

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I think I’m gonna go to the Mikva. First time in many months…

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 14 Feb 2022 04:06 #377367

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How's it going?
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).


My current thread 

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 14 Feb 2022 07:40 #377373

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Thank you for asking and to all those who’ve reached out despite me not responding.

Im dealing with great pain and trauma. It has caused me to harbour deep hatred towards GD and for awhile I found myself unable to “look Him in the eye.”

Now however, due to certain experiences of which some would be inspirational and others stam exciting, I have decided that I am indeed interested in resuming dialogue with the Ribono Shel Olam.

The turning point was a week ago when for the first time in many months I had hisorerus to learn. So I walked 30 min to a kollel, opened a Gemara and burst out crying. I then proceeded to learn the amud with tears rolling down my eyes for an hour with me davening between words- begging Hashem to help me through this/help me not hate be so angry, and I mamash never cry… 

Im working my way back. Starting again to daven again etc.
I still need to decide about Yeshiva, whether I should begin my “return” by going to a less intense one. Or try going back to the one I was in before.

All in all, I’m confused, lost, and aimless. 
I have no idea where I am, what I am, and where I’m headed. I don’t fully know what it is I want out of life. I hope though that GD may guide me and help me, as it is not I who chose to come to this world in the first place.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 14 Feb 2022 11:56 #377377

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Just wanted to respond to say I feel for you. Hopefully this is the start of a healing process. I am sorry for all your pain.
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 14 Feb 2022 13:49 #377384

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Thanks buddy! It means a lot.
Its very inspiring to see so many guys here continuing and beginning the fight for kedusha.
I wish I would be able to be more involved in the forum, it’s just that now I have a different battle that has taken center stage, though I do hope to continue being active here to the best of my ability.

YeshivaGuy

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 15 Feb 2022 03:45 #377418

Yeshiva Guy, I just read your post about crying over the Gemora. I'm speechless. I'm going to make some assumptions here, please forgive me. I assume that you wish those traumatic events never happened. I assume that you don't want to be in so much pain. I assume that you know that there is a benefit to suffering, but you don't want the suffering anyways, despite the benefit. There is one thing that I know for certain. Hashem didn't create a person as incredible as you just to suffer. It's as clear as day that you are something special. Even if you don't see it, everyone here does. The pain is going to end one day, and you are going to bring an awesome light to this world. In fact, you already are. Looking forward to great things.
Last Edit: 15 Feb 2022 03:47 by hashemyeracheim613.
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