I got more support from you guys after a fall than at any other time
I plan to treasure this love and support, as I don't plan to do that again

THANK YOU TO EACH ONE OF YOU!!!!

_____________

What I did last night posting here is what I should've done 3 nights ago, and not loopholed my phone, cos posting on the forum works!

_____________
I had found a way to access videos on 1 app thru a backdoor in a 2nd "app"

TAG says there's no way to filter / block what I discovered, so... I thought ...time to get rid of my phone...

I called back and he kindly informed me that I can choose and keep only one of the 2 "apps" unblocked, but not both open as it's impossible to restrict to access the 1 from the other

So that's what I did - I deleted 1 of the iPhone "apps" - good thing I didn't need it too much, and after a recent software update I was BH able to delete this internal 'app'

If you need to know about the apps, at risk of having to delete 1, feel free to ask me for details

Getting my Truck back on track, I self diagnosed myself (as usual) and identified a 0.01% point of selfishness that led to my fall. My scale my be out by anywhere between 1 to 99%.
Calibration required every 650 days ;-)

We are a work in progress, aren't we?

Markz wrote on 09 Jun 2017 13:18:

what a brave trucker!!! you are a role model!!! a sample of a GYE member.
Get your self those huge horns for your truck, and start blowing!! you get it!!
you are the biggest chizik for all of us, keep it up.
Stay Strong! Stay Clean, you can do it!!!

Officially when one reaches 90 days they get permissions to an exclusive Wall of Honor thread

Not for me

After a lot more than 90, I went to the chart last week and clicked "I fell". 

Right away I got this email
was I supposed to laugh or cry?

Usually better off laughing than crying me thinks. 

P.S You are an inspiration. One day of living at a time. It's the best way to live, whether you have these struggles or not. 

mikestruggling wrote on 17 Jun 2017 19:57:

I used to curse them in my good old lusting days before gye because it was all their fault
I now bless them

Markz wrote on 18 Jun 2017 02:12:

Wow! Please share the blessing! I still see them as part of the fault!

Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 28 Jun 2017 10:39:

I see them as normal.
I don't bless 'em.
I don't curse 'em.
I look, I look again (usually), then, I move the Hell on.

cordnoy wrote on 28 Jun 2017 12:20:

I love how Cordnoy brings out or helps us bring out a point 
So here's a breakdown

I used to curse the inapropriately dressed woman
I used to look at the well dressed
I stopped cursing group 1 but don't bless them
I started blessing group 2, because I began to respect them as people

Now I dont look (unless to determine if she's appropriately dressed or not)
and I move on ;-)

Sorry to hear Markzy..

But your brutal honesty has given me the push to push the fall button myself..
I love you man

I deleted another app (I don't have access to install apps) because it has some pictures that a nice Jewish boy should only look at twice, which I did last night and consider it a fall - enough to hit reset on the Wall of Shame.

These things never happen when I'm fully awake and well rested. I don't know if any of you have prophecy at 2am, but that's when I sometimes get a Loophole spirit, to seek erotica on a smartphone that's ostensibly sensibly protected

I have removed the Music App and even something as simple as DIRTY APP REMOVED]

Another system built app has been laid to rest. Soon the only app that will remain on my phone is my lock screen - if that...

you can leave the GYE app unless it's too triggering
or it takes up too much of your time (don't you leave us i was just kiddin')
 for giving something up for Hashem and Kedusha and bringing closer the geula
take another one 

Markz! You are really inspiring.

It will not be an extreme move to give up the so-called smartphone completely. 
I saw a bumper sticker reading: I am Smart, not my Phone.
There is no need to have a smartphone for recovery... 

(Wanna hear more from smart people? call: 845-400-1111 ext 0.)

The "Thank You" was a mistake. I have found a smart phone to be an incredible aid to my recovery. Is it necessary? No. But it has been really helpful in my experience.

Mark, It takes a lot of humility to reset your 90 day chart. By your standards I should definitely reset mine. KOT brotha.