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My Book of Business
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: My Book of Business 107659 Views

My Book of Business 19 Apr 2017 16:41 #310838

  • Shivisi_Hashem
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Hi all חברים לדבר מצוה,
I'm starting again my 90 days after being clean for the first time for 2 weeks, 14 days, I hope it will be an ירידה  לצורך עליה, you can read here my 30 year story,https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/310830-my-long-%D7%A0%D7%A1%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%94-of-almost-30-yearsand I hope to be here daily with my ups and down daily, I feel that will help me get out of my sickness.. with all your support and Chizuk
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים
Last Edit: 23 Apr 2017 04:50 by Shivisi_Hashem.

Re: oooops! i had my fall!! 19 Apr 2017 16:52 #310841

Wow nice share

Recovery should be with Hatzlacha
my thread:guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh">I will make it b"h











very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: oooops! i had my fall!! 20 Apr 2017 14:31 #310927

  • Shivisi_Hashem
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Day #2
B"H I passed my first day, from my new cycle, today is #2 and today only, I will be on top of my soul, I'm not interested what it will happen in tomorrow or in 2 weeks, or 2 months... and the today is not that long, just a few hours, and Hashem, please stay on my 2 sides, please don't let me down, I'm doing it ONLY for you.
My YH is trying to bring me down about my last fall, but I'm not going to let this happen...
I will stay strong with all the Chizuk and Support of our GYE members.
Thanks you all
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: oooops! i had my fall!! 20 Apr 2017 17:16 #310947

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!חזק וברוך

Re: oooops! i had my fall!! 21 Apr 2017 14:45 #311076

  • Shivisi_Hashem
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Day #3
B"H I passed my 2nd day, today is #3 and today only, I will be on top of my soul, I'm not interested what it will happen in tomorrow or in 2 weeks, or 2 months... and the today is not that long, just a few hours, and Hashem, please stay on my 2 sides, please don't let me down, I'm doing it ONLY for you.
My YH is trying to bring me down about my last fall, but I'm not going to let this happen...
I will stay strong with all the Chizuk and Support of our GYE members.
Thank you Hashem, and thanks all GYE Chaveirim for the support...
ill be back Moitzeh Shabbes with my CLEAN report......
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: oooops! i had my fall!! 21 Apr 2017 17:13 #311090

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Keep posting. IYH you will do well. Use the good feeling of your prior success to move forward. Realize that any upward climb will usually have pits and downhills along the way.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: My Book of Business 23 Apr 2017 04:59 #311137

  • Shivisi_Hashem
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Day #4
B"H I passed  day #3 
its my biggest accomplishment, since its first time in 30 years im sober completely on a weekend, sober of looking, thinking and touching, B"H, 
today is #4 and today only, I will be on top of my soul, I'm not interested what it will happen in tomorrow or in 2 weeks, or 2 months... and the today is not that long, just a few hours, and Hashem, please stay on my 2 sides, please don't let me down.
My YH is trying to bring me down about my last fall, but I'm not going to let this happen...
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: My Book of Business 24 Apr 2017 13:23 #311259

  • Shivisi_Hashem
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Day #5
B"H I passed  day #4
wwooww, what a fight, what a night, i had an extremely hard night last night, my wife was about to leave to Florida with her friends in the morning, and we had a very warm loving talk, how we will miss each other, (she is now in her Nidah days, so no hands on love) and my toughts was starting wondering somewhere else, so when she fell asleep i started fighting with my self, should i pleasure myself or not, back and forth, for a second i started touching my self, but i stopped right away, what a מלחמה, then i tought to my self, you know what, let me finish the day clean, maybe tomorrow will do it, and i fell asleep. 
הודו לד' כי טוב
Today as my wife is not around, i will need extra help and support the night should pass sober.. i will read iy"h the GYE handbook, that might help plus older forum posts. will keep you posted if there is any problems.
today is #5 and today only, I will be on top of my soul, I'm not interested what it will happen in tomorrow or in 2 weeks, or 2 months... and the today is not that long, just a few hours, and Hashem, please stay on my 2 sides, please don't let me down.
My YH is trying to bring me down about my last fall, but I'm not going to let this happen...
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים
Last Edit: 24 Apr 2017 13:56 by Shivisi_Hashem.

Re: My Book of Business 24 Apr 2017 14:30 #311264

  • cordnoy
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So, in your interest of today, what are you doin' today?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My Book of Business 24 Apr 2017 14:51 #311266

  • Shivisi_Hashem
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cordnoy wrote on 24 Apr 2017 14:30:
So, in your interest of today, what are you doin' today?

so, here is my TODAY plan,until 6 pm, I'm at work, and since I'm a GYE member, I'm not involved any more in any wrong doing at work, I used to work around with our filter, but I don't do that any more, after 6 till the kids go to sleep, like 10 pm, I will be Busy with them, so my struggle begins about 10, I will stay strong, planning on going over the GYE handbook etc. and if ill have any urge, ill post right away here,
hope to be back tomorrow SOBER, CLEAN..
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: My Book of Business 24 Apr 2017 15:36 #311274

  • cordnoy
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Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 24 Apr 2017 14:51:

cordnoy wrote on 24 Apr 2017 14:30:
So, in your interest of today, what are you doin' today?

so, here is my TODAY plan,until 6 pm, I'm at work, and since I'm a GYE member, I'm not involved any more in any wrong doing at work, I used to work around with our filter, but I don't do that any more, after 6 till the kids go to sleep, like 10 pm, I will be Busy with them, so my struggle begins about 10, I will stay strong, planning on going over the GYE handbook etc. and if ill have any urge, ill post right away here,
hope to be back tomorrow SOBER, CLEAN..

I'm a GYE member, and I do plenty wrong at work.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My Book of Business 24 Apr 2017 15:43 #311278

  • Markz
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Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 24 Apr 2017 14:51:

cordnoy wrote on 24 Apr 2017 14:30:
So, in your interest of today, what are you doin' today?

so, here is my TODAY plan,until 6 pm, I'm at work, and since I'm a GYE member, I'm not involved any more in any wrong doing at work, I used to work around with our filter, but I don't do that any more, after 6 till the kids go to sleep, like 10 pm, I will be Busy with them, so my struggle begins about 10, I will stay strong, planning on going over the GYE handbook etc. and if ill have any urge, ill post right away here,
hope to be back tomorrow SOBER, CLEAN..

The Rebbe that wears a cord instead of a gartel asked something 

I think he meant, and as acting Gabbai I'll say this

You mentioned "since I'm a GYE member..."

What does that mean?
When one registers he gets reborn?

Maybe I didn't register right???
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Re: My Book of Business 24 Apr 2017 15:45 #311280

  • Shivisi_Hashem
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cordnoy wrote on 24 Apr 2017 15:36:

Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 24 Apr 2017 14:51:

cordnoy wrote on 24 Apr 2017 14:30:
So, in your interest of today, what are you doin' today?

so, here is my TODAY plan,until 6 pm, I'm at work, and since I'm a GYE member, I'm not involved any more in any wrong doing at work, I used to work around with our filter, but I don't do that any more, after 6 till the kids go to sleep, like 10 pm, I will be Busy with them, so my struggle begins about 10, I will stay strong, planning on going over the GYE handbook etc. and if ill have any urge, ill post right away here,
hope to be back tomorrow SOBER, CLEAN..

I'm a GYE member, and I do plenty wrong at work.

since I joined this Heilige GYE Chabureh, I'm managing in job very well, I used to do nothing besides porn, for the last 3 weeks, B"H I'm clean in job, I'm strong, and when I get this little urge to search porn just for a minute, thinking nothing will happen, then I go straight to the GYE site, and that's what's saving me.
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: My Book of Business 24 Apr 2017 16:09 #311282

  • Shivisi_Hashem
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Markz wrote on 24 Apr 2017 15:43:

Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 24 Apr 2017 14:51:

cordnoy wrote on 24 Apr 2017 14:30:
So, in your interest of today, what are you doin' today?

so, here is my TODAY plan,until 6 pm, I'm at work, and since I'm a GYE member, I'm not involved any more in any wrong doing at work, I used to work around with our filter, but I don't do that any more, after 6 till the kids go to sleep, like 10 pm, I will be Busy with them, so my struggle begins about 10, I will stay strong, planning on going over the GYE handbook etc. and if ill have any urge, ill post right away here,
hope to be back tomorrow SOBER, CLEAN..

The Rebbe that wears a cord instead of a gartel asked something 

I think he meant, and as acting Gabbai I'll say this

You mentioned "since I'm a GYE member..."

What does that mean?
When one registers he gets reborn?

Maybe I didn't register right???

yes, and definitely yes, the Gemara says: גר שנתגייר הוא כתינוק שנולד  and we in our addiction and struggles are like גרים, we have the same struggles they have, and that's how I feel about my self, like a new person, a new life, even I'm here only for 3 weeks, but my last 30 years, was full of garbage, full of regrets, riding on huge rollercoaster, ups and downs, unhappy person, now I'm sober, I feel so much better.

you did register right, and you were reborn too, but you are much much longer on this great program, so maybe you don't feel it that much any more like me, its like when you get to a new yeshivah, the first 3 weeks, is with much a bigger excitement then after 3 zmanim in the same yeshivah....

Makes sense????
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: My Book of Business 24 Apr 2017 19:45 #311302

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shivisi, you should be very proud of yourself. Your honesty and humility are great. Using the site is very helpful. There is so much advice, chizuk, and hashkofa. It becomes a way of life. I would suggest also speaking with someone. you can do that anonymously
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE
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