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Motzei Shabbos life - Vort, Joke, Like, Whateva...
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TOPIC: Motzei Shabbos life - Vort, Joke, Like, Whateva... 20212 Views

Re: Motze Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (100 words or less) 25 Oct 2015 01:40 #266753

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markz wrote:
Here's a Vort

mosherose @ theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom wrote:
It says in lech lecha that Avrohom told Sorah that "now he knows that she is beautiful." Rashi brings the midrash that becuz of the tznius between them he never even saw her until he accidently saw her reflection in the water. In all the years they were married, Avrohom never even saw Sorah. If he didnt see her then he certainly didnt stam shmooze with her or go out on "married dates" with her.

This is the ideal that the Torah wants. Avrohom and Sorah are the model for a yiddishe marrage. Just like Avrohom never looked at Sorah and certinly never socialized with her, so too we should strive to reach this goal with our own wifes. Halevai if any man could say that he didnt know his wife was pretty becuz he never looked at her.


Ok Guys go ahead give it to him
shooting-machine-gun-gif-m60_machinegun_firing_lg_clr_2015-10-25.gif


I think you just managed to combine a vort and a joke in the same post.
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Re: Motze Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (100 words or less) 25 Oct 2015 01:45 #266754

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The irony is that he's probably a lust addict.
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Re: Motze Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (100 words or less) 25 Oct 2015 04:20 #266760

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Keepin’ myself busy tonight, so hopefully stayin’ out of trouble, but I feel like I have to join in the fun. First off, props to Markz for comin’ up with this amazin’ idea, it’s definitely great to have somethin’ to do if we would otherwise have nothin’. (As an aside, why is the letter ‘g’ taboo around these here boards? Followin’ what everyone else’s doin’, but not sure why…) I don’t have any specific Joke or Vort to add here, but stopping by anyways. Oh, and since I’m a rebel, I’m typin’ exactly a hundred and one words (plus a smiley ).

Re: Motze Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (100 words or less) 25 Oct 2015 04:24 #266761

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m58yiw84niym wrote:
Keepin’ myself busy tonight, so hopefully stayin’ out of trouble, but I feel like I have to join in the fun. First off, props to Markz for comin’ up with this amazin’ idea, it’s definitely great to have somethin’ to do if we would otherwise have nothin’. (As an aside, why is the letter ‘g’ taboo around these here boards? Followin’ what everyone else’s doin’, but not sure why…) I don’t have any specific Joke or Vort to add here, but stopping by anyways. Oh, and since I’m a rebel, I’m typin’ exactly a hundred and one words (plus a smiley ).


Does anyone have any idea what he's talkin' about?
Who doesn't use the letter "G" around here?
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Re: Motze Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (100 words or less) 25 Oct 2015 04:44 #266764

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m58yiw84niym wrote:
why is the letter ‘g’ taboo around these here boards? Followin’ what everyone else’s doin’, but not sure why…)

It shortens the 100 word paragraph.

There are some very dirty words that are forbidden to mention here, eg spelling out YH

Or mentioning G - Gehennim, Cordnoy doesn't want to frighten anyone away.
Although he doesn't know exactly what it is as mentioned regarding the iPhone song
cordnoy wrote:
9494 wrote:
markz wrote


Now those guys are fuming


Yep, apparently it is pretty hot in gehennim


What da Hell is gehennim?
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Re: Motze Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (100 words or less) 01 Nov 2015 00:23 #267408

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Gut Voch guys!!!
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Re: Motze Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (100 words or less) 01 Nov 2015 01:50 #267409

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That was a short Motzei Shabbos.
No-one has posted on any of the forums for the last 2
hours. It's only me here

Seems everyone's asleep already


quiet-clip-art-361800.png
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Last Edit: 01 Nov 2015 01:54 by Markz.

Re: Motze Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (100 words or less) 01 Nov 2015 02:11 #267410

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markz wrote:
That was a short Motzei Shabbos.
No-one has posted on any of the forums for the last 2
hours. It's only me here

Seems everyone's asleep already


Is that such a bad thing? It doesn't matter where we're doing it, as long as we're staying out of trouble

Re: Motze Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (100 words or less) 07 Nov 2015 23:57 #268026

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a father and two kids walk into a hotel lobby:
father (to clerk): i hope all the porn here is disabled?
clerk: NO! all the porn here is regular you sick freak!
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

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Re: Motze Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (100 words or less) 08 Nov 2015 02:02 #268034

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shemirateinayim 10 March 2010 wrote:
Kedusha wrote on 10 Mar 2010 19:09:



Congratulations!!!

You are the biggest nudnik in town! :-\

>  :-X This post will be removed in a few minutes. :-X
<


Not if I quote it  ;D
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Last Edit: 08 Nov 2015 02:05 by Markz.

Re: Motze Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (100 words or less) 08 Nov 2015 02:19 #268035

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Kedusha wrote:
March 1 2011

1.) For those who haven't been successful at losing weight - Guard Your Size (see #3 below).

2.) For those who compulsively buy tickets to Chinese auctions - Guard Your Prize.

3.) For compulsive complainers - Guard Your Sighs (problem: people may confuse it with #1, so maybe we should call #1 Guard Your Thighs)

4.) To help make safety goggles available to all Yiddishe construction workers - Guard Your Eyes (that name sounds very familiar - we need to check if its been used already).

5.) For compulsive fib tellers - Guard Your Lies.

6.) For compulsive junk food eaters - Guard Your Fries

7.) For wives who want to supervise their addict husbands - Guard Your Guys

8.) To assist air traffic controllers in doing their jobs - Guard Your Skies

9.) For people who compulsively ask questions - Guard Your Whys
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Re: Motzei Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (+-100 words) 15 Nov 2015 01:23 #268582

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A thought on this past week's parsha

Rabbi Avraham Twerski wrote:

"Many relationships begin with two people falling in love. While this seems to be perfectly logical, listen to what George Bernard Shaw said: “When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most illusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.” Even if they do not take a formal oath to that effect, they probably believe that their passion will be eternal.

Of course, love is essential to a marriage, but see what the Torah says about the marriage of Yitzhak to Rivka, “He married Rivka, she became his wife, and he loved her” (Breishis 24:67). Look carefully at the sequence of the words. Yitzhak’s love for Rivka developed after the marriage rather than before it."
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Last Edit: 15 Nov 2015 01:30 by Markz.

Re: Motzei Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (+-100 words) 15 Nov 2015 01:57 #268590

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unanumun wrote:

03 Sep 2014
I was wondering that also. then i got to the wall of honor and i got an email about some hidden forum. My first thought was "aha that's where all the people are" then I went there and there were only about two threads and five posts so i realized that wasn't the answer.
maybe all the thousand of others are still hanging out on the gyu forum and have secret passwords, and the whole business of the new forum was just to get rid of the "simple" guys

This is still relevant Nov 2015...
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Cordnoy wrote:

03 Sep 2014
Speakin' of sides, here is the startin' lineup for the ZZZ team!

TZ at point guard
Nitzy at shootin' guard
Lizzy at small forward
Netzach at power forward
the man in the Middle....Zemmy
Do we got a ZZZ coach?

Lavi wrote:

03 Sep 2014
zzz??? is that like dozing to sleep??? what's the competition??? who snores the loudest???

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Last Edit: 15 Nov 2015 01:57 by Markz.

Re: Motzei Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (+-100 words) 15 Nov 2015 02:20 #268592

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My 3rd post for tonight on this string.

markz wrote:
Bigmoish wrote:
Welcome yak.
You may want to check out some of the links in my signature. I found them helpful

Bigmoish your first link is the same as Skeps first link
Helpful to blank your mind

Could you replace it with a truly helpful link like
Free Hardcore Cornography

Can you guess why PA put the word "Free" at the beginning of that??


Can someone please try answer that trivia question? It's soooooo obvious!
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Last Edit: 15 Nov 2015 02:22 by Markz.

Re: Motzei Shabbos life - Vort/Joke (+-100 words) 15 Nov 2015 05:31 #268602

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can i give it a try?
Have a corny day ... and if you do have other plans, change 'em!!
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