The Library

"Hashem's Soldier" posted on the forum: I'm weak, I had a slip today with my eyes at work.... (A true addict is one who tries going to the website KNOWING it is blocked, and yet he tries to go to it anyway). I'm home alone, I still don't have a filter installed here and I...

Walking home from work, I came behind a frum woman who was dressed in way which really triggers me. I will admit that while walking fast to overtake her, I 'drank in' the sight and lusted away. It lasted about 20 seconds, but while the opportunity was still there to catch...

Levi, a Talmid of Duvid Chaim's phone conference writes: I had a test this morning. I was hungry, cranky and in a bit of irritability. I had a plan to go into my office, make two important phone calls that would be critical (or so I thought) regarding about $1000 of dispu...

I installed webchaver on my computer recently. Unfortunately it took a bunch of slips to make me do this. Now I feel bullet proof. I know that I still need to work on my internal traits. Working the steps together with all the other measures I am taking, will hopefully ke...

I just got an "innocent" commercial e-mail which contained a picture that is just the type of thing that I find very triggering. If I didn't act fast, my entire sobriety would be at risk of collapse. Boruch Hashem, I was able to apply the three second rule (actually, qu...

Yesterday while on the train home, a girl came on dressed in a way that really triggers me, my gaze lingered on her as she passed me by and then I realized that I can't afford to stay in the same compartment as her so I ran into the next one (my own mini 'vayonas veyeitse...

I've been acting out and looking at inappropriate images since the age of 12-13. With a computer in my room, the internet and its poison filled my heart and mind at a very young age. I was a top Bachur, and I was sure marriage would solve the problem, but it didn't. I had...

It's been about a year on GYE, and I thought this would be a good time to update what went on the past year. My road to recovery was not as great as expected, with several ups and downs during the year. One particular area which captured me this past year, was using my bl...

The AA Big Book talks about "being on a new plane of existence"; a spiritual plane. Duvid Chaim often speaks about "Getting out of our heads". "Getting out of my head" means being concerned how other people are feeling, and being helpful when possible. I feel like I've re...

I have been grappling with a problem. My Filter had a loophole which when manipulated, allowed real nasty images to pass through. I was Mekabel a while back to contact the filter Gabai and have the problem fixed... I tried a few times but kept on missing him. Lately, I co...

Boruch Hashem, I am now over 550 days clean. Interestingly, my wife went to Mikva a few days ago (after 23 days unclean). Since then, things have been much more difficult for me than during the previous 23 days. I know this is a not uncommon phenomenon, but go figure! As ...

Hello to all the heroes on this forum! I call all of you heroes - because it takes a lot of courage to admit of sexuality addiction! Well, at least in my case. Unfortunately, it took a separation from my wife to come to realize this! I was so lost - and had no clue what I...

I am introducing myself as a way of forcing myself to face my own problem honestly. I am well passed adolescence (>50), yet I feel I never really grew up in the area of porn.I had to finally face reality when I was asked to leave my job for viewing Porn. Through counse...

Last night, I was waiting and waiting for my wife to finish getting ready for us to go out. I was ready, the babysitter was there, but some women just take a long time to get going. Finally she says, "come on, lets go already" (as if it was my fault we were late). As we'r...

On my lunch break today, I felt tempted to go to the internet cafe round the corner to watch one of my old programs.... nuh uh - red alert! That's way too dangerous; clearly a ploy of the addiction/yetzer harah... So instead, I went and sat by a beautiful lake with ducks ...

Aryeh writes: I am a 25 year old college student struggling with viewing internet porn and, quite recently, relations with a non-Jewish ex-girlfriend from before I was frum. B''H I have been able to cut off contact with said woman, which is something I tried hard to do fo...

Yechezkel posted his powerful & inspiring story on the forum: I think it's incredible that this website exists; what it must be doing in shamayim is amazing... What I am about to tell you today is something that I have been longing to do for a long while. I wanted to...

As I have posted elsewhere on this site, I travel a lot for my job and when I travel is the most challenging time.B"H I have been doing quite well for a while, but I have still been finding it a struggle to avoid the pool areas of the hotels I am staying at.I am currently...