The Library

Dear GYE, Thank you for the wonderful work you do. You have been providing hungry souls like me with the nutrition and encouragement to keep going and keep climbing. I am eternally grateful and pray for your compounding success. My journey was nothing short of a miracle...

Hi, I've been a hardcore addict for as long as I remember myself. I'm technically still married but in divorce proceedings. B"h, I have 3 beautiful boys whom I love dearly. My journey into recovery started in 2015 when my wife got serious about divorce. I always knew I ha...

I lost a testicle to Seminoma. I had been trying to crack the bad habit of hz"l, but not hard enough. So Hashem did me a favor and sent me a clear message. Baruch Hashem, I got the point and be'ezrat Hashem I will live my life out b'kedusha. It is definitely better to p...

Dear brothers and sisters, fellow fighters. It's painful to be a fighter. I know firsthand. But it's also a part of ourselves which will ultimately give us so much inner strength, sensitivity to others, and hopefully real joy. Today, after two weeks of abstinence fro...

I'm on the subway heading to work in Manhattan. It's 77 degrees outside, a beautiful blue-sky day. I'm 7 days clean since the last fall and had 15 days clean before that so I'm in a powerful, strong, uplifted mood as if nothing can break me. We've all had that confident f...

Rabbi Dov Bensoussan spoke recently about how Hashem is a "Rotze b'Tshuva" and sometimes we merit to see how He puts the opportunity to do Teshuva right in front of us. He related the story of a young man who was, unfortunately, traveling to a private place with a non-Jew...

So what does it feel like to pass 250 days clean? BH super. It's not a magical number of any sort and we all know that the correct approach has to be one day at a time, but it does feel good. Are there rough times? Yes. Are they similar in severity to the challenges of th...

I was driving from the target store in my neighborhood and a pretty girl came into view. Of course, I wanted to look but I decided that as difficult as it will be I won't. I was making a turn and I thought I was going to pass the test once I did. The problem is she crosse...

About a week ago, I finally raised the white flag. Indeed, I don’t know how to support my wife through her sex addiction (which has uncovered many other layers of emotional dysfunction). Yesterday was the first time that I went to therapy for myself. While I’d like to ...

So my struggle is all about masturbation in response to my very wild and dirty fantasies. Since I'm the type that lives in my own head, there's always lots of fun and noise in there (usually not bad, btw!) and there's almost always a song playing in the background, as wel...

Yesterday, the internet was down at work. That means the techies come in and get to work.Till 48 days ago, I always got nervous when this happened. What if they start digging and find out all the stuff I saw? It may not be inappropriate websites but my boss would probably...

I started on Recovery when I was busted by my wife. I had been acting out for more than 30 years. That first night after I was busted, I went to sleep and I knew I was in big trouble with my wife. While lying in bed, I imagined myself in Beit Din Shel Mala at the end of m...

"Avi Ha'Oved" wrote in this amazing story (translated from an email we received in Hebrew): For many years after the wedding, we didn't have children. We did tests and discovered that the chances for me to be able to ever have children were close to zero. The doctor (who,...

With the help of my Higher Power who has kept me sober for over a year, I’d like to speak about what it was like for me, what my year looked like, and how things are now. How it was I thought I had hit bottom so many times. At every point of my life I never thought it cou...

My name is Boruch and I'm a regular chasidishe bucher learning in Israel. About a year ago, I read an article in the Mishpacha magazine (Lifelines section) about a man who struggled with internet pornography and found the site called GYE and recovered through it by keep...

I get a Mazal Tov, I had a baby boy now, and it's a miracle of GYE! Let me tell you the story in short: About a year and a half ago, when I first came to your site, I had 5 daughters and no sons. I met a partner on GYE with 5 boys and no girls. We became very close an...

We got a "venting email" from a woman a few weeks ago: How can I say no to my phone? Sometimes, I think to myself that it's pathetic that I need to keep looking at Instagram, Whatsapp profile pics, Facebook etc., not for porn, but just because either I'm bored or to see ...

Shalom Aleichem to the entire GYE community! I am finally here after my long journey of almost 30 years! Yes, for 30 years I’ve been looking to whom to turn, to tell my story, and still to feel comfortable that nobody finds out what goes on deep inside me. I have had no l...