The Library

Are you an addict? Well, just because you feel driven to do these things does not mean that you are an addict, as far as I am concerned. Everybody with a normal human yetzer hora can feel driven to act-out. It is part of our nature that something about it gives a pleasure...

Welcome! My experience is, and every veterano on this cite affirms, that there's no beating this addiction. Most of us here are lust addicts. And even though things can settle down, and we come closer to Hashem, and begin doing for and thinking about others, and even th...

I just heard this story on a shiur and I freaked out, and wanted to tell you about it. A few years ago, a bus on a lag baomer trip crashed and 3 young boys and a bus driver died. One of the boys who died, who had been a chavrusa with a boy who survived, came to his friend...

I have spent the past week reading the struggles of other members on GYE. It is truly an honor to share my thoughts with some of these members. After reading through many of those that succeeded in overcoming their struggles, I have come to the realization that I can tr...

I got a good deal of passion to serve Hashem once I was convinced that He isn't disgusted with me at all. Think about it... If a rebbi, teacher, parent, sister, wife, store clerk, whoever... have this look of near-puking whenever you see them looking at you, would you be...

The parsha of Chet Ha'Egel begins with the words "Vayar Ha'am - and the nation saw".All aveiros begin with 'looking'. Ayin roeh, Halev chomeid....

Rebbe Moshe Kobriner zy'a in Toras Avos writes: Rashi explains that Moshe Rabeinu had difficulty understanding what was meant until Hashem showed him a vision of a fiery coin. What was so hard for Moshe to understand that Hashem needed to show him a fiery vision? Moshe's ...

The Rambam (Hilchos Teshuva 2, 1) says that, if a person faces the same Nisayon, and overcomes it ONCE, that is Teshuva Gemura. The Rambam also says (Hilchos Teshuva 2, 3) that Teshuva (here he doesn't use the stronger term "Teshuva Gemura") is where Hashem testifies tha...

Rashi explains that any time Hashem brings a punishment on Klal Yisrael it includes partial punishment for the Chait Ha'aigel. Rebbe Chanoch Henoch of Alexander zy'a (Siach Sarfei Kodesh) explained it this way: Every time Hashem punishes klal yisrael He is telling them, l...

An addict is driving along all alone in his car one night on an empty highway. He is depressed beyond words, thinking how miserable he is and how he would do anything to get sober and have a normal life. Suddenly, as he's zooming down the highway and thinking, he hears th...

First I'd like to thank Hashem for helping me until this point. I am finding that posting these Divrei Torah and knowing that people are reading them, is helping me tremendously. If you do read them, I would appreciate comments and feedback - positive or negative (on my t...

I saw the following Ki Sisa thought in Nesivos Shalom: How could Klal Yisroel, after all the Nissim of Yetzias Mitzraim and the revelation at Har Sinai, take such a fall as to worship an Eigel HaZahav? With all the justifications given by the Mefarshim, it's clear that it...

"Gesher Tzar Me'od" asks: How is acceptance of lust addiction as a disease not a "cop out" for a responsible person not to take responsibility for his actions? I realize that there is a difference between a one time aveira and a constant behavior pattern, but that still d...

The Crazy Jets Fan A guy who was a crazy Jets fan missed an important game but his friend taped it for him. By the time he got the tape, he had already heard on the news that his Jets won that game. That night he set up beer, chips, salsa, closed door, all for watching th...

I feel that the effort that I put into posting my comments and thoughts on the forum are vital to my recovery. Although I had a very difficult time over the past 5 or so years, I never felt a type of connection to anything in the way that I do to GYE. It is something fo...

I have noticed a funny thing about the people I work with professionally (in health care): As they begin to improve, they start to complain about how bad off they are. It is just so frustrating as a person helping them, to hear them get more negative at the very time that...

I'm so grateful to Hashem, SA, GYE, and all the support. I realized today that I need to surrender more. I read in the White Book that part of surrender is surrendering the right to act out. Another big Yesod of SA is that the recovery and surrender has to be against lust...

Dear R' Guard, We owe GYE a tremendous thank you. My wife and I feel like we've just been married again. Thanks to your website we've been able to tackle issues that have been haunting us ever since we were married and had effected all aspects of our marriage, and our liv...